Make me laugh and win big - Holiday Contest From Webinc! - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

volante · 12-15-2005, 04:20 AM

Tampax have announced that they're replacing the strings in their tampons with tinsel. However, it's only for the Christmas period.

The Duck · 12-15-2005, 04:26 AM

I want those prices

cool1 · 12-15-2005, 04:57 AM

A Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat

The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat

The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook

It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.

And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied its bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

That was some brothel, he said with a smile, The reindeer are pooped, I'll just stay here awhile.

He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.

He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!

fedfest · 12-15-2005, 07:18 AM

Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe.
She says "Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you'd like to come into my bedroom."

Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know."

The lovely young thing peels off her robe, revealing a skimpy negligee. Santa looks up from his sack of gifts, and she says "I've got something special for you Santa. Can't you stay for just a little while? I know you want me. Let me make this Christmas eve unforgetable."

Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know."

Not to be denied, she strips off the negligee, revealing her naughty bits, and they were quite nice naughty bits, I might add. And she says "Santa, this is your last chance. This body is your gift."

Santa responds "Hey! Hey! Hey! Gotta stay. Gotta Stay. Can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!"

bringer · 12-15-2005, 07:22 AM

http://www.jbmconsults.com/movcbk.html

fedfest · 12-15-2005, 07:47 AM

fedfest · 12-15-2005, 07:49 AM

fedfest · 12-15-2005, 07:51 AM

..and last one, then i'm out of this tread

bringer · 12-15-2005, 08:03 AM

http://www.starterupsteve.com/video/...dreindeer.html

its long and quicktime but quite funny

Marshal · 12-15-2005, 08:37 AM

bump for the funny thread... ;)

Sarah_Jayne · 12-15-2005, 12:18 PM

I must say it is getting good

Sarah_Jayne · 12-15-2005, 09:36 PM

I am up too late..keep them coming.

HAPPYPEEKERS · 12-15-2005, 09:59 PM

HAPPYPEEKERS · 12-15-2005, 10:00 PM

HAPPYPEEKERS · 12-15-2005, 10:01 PM

HAPPYPEEKERS · 12-15-2005, 10:01 PM

HAPPYPEEKERS · 12-15-2005, 10:02 PM

HAPPYPEEKERS · 12-15-2005, 10:02 PM

and my favorite...

Merry Christmas

PamiebDVD · 12-15-2005, 10:14 PM

How about some holiday music?

http://www.flatulina.com/files/flatulina2.mp3

reed_4 · 12-15-2005, 10:24 PM

It's good to know that you took a break from your ananova.com news and started a different thread @sarah_webinc.

Sarah_Jayne · 12-15-2005, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reed_4

It's good to know that you took a break from your ananova.com news and started a different thread @sarah_webinc.

hon..17k posts aren't all annanova..though I do like my morning news

Steen2 · 12-15-2005, 10:34 PM

Sarah_Jayne · 12-16-2005, 05:30 AM

Good morning

Hey You . . . I Know You! · 12-16-2005, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarah_webinc

Good morning

What time is it when it is time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-Hurty!

How do I collect my choice of 50 banners or 2 Full Page Ads?

Juicy D. Links · 12-16-2005, 07:42 AM

you are laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Troels · 12-16-2005, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarah_webinc

The holiday season can be a stressful time so it is important to take some time out and have a good laugh. So, give us your best holidday themed joke or pic and the two that make me laugh the most will win some top quality design work from Webinc.

The prizes are:

First Prize: Your choice of 50 banners or 2 Full Page Ads

Second Prize: Your choice of 25 Banners or 1 Full Page Ad.

Check out our new and bigger than ever banner portfolio to see just what great prizes we are giving away.

The contest runs from today until Tuesday (Decemeber 20...also happens to be my birthday). You can enter as many times as you want and the winning designs will be delivered after the new year.

So...get posting and make me laugh

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showpo...87&postcount=1

emjay · 12-16-2005, 10:14 AM

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked
if she got three wishes.

The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth.
I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?"

The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East.
See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other
and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa.
It will bring about world peace and harmony."

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These
countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape
after being in a bottle for five hundred years.. I'm good but not THAT
good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be
reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to
find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, likes to
cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along
with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That
is what I wish for...a good man."

The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see the f***ing map again."

Sarah_Jayne · 12-16-2005, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hey You . . . I Know You!

What time is it when it is time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-Hurty!

How do I collect my choice of 50 banners or 2 Full Page Ads?

boom boom

Sarah_Jayne · 12-17-2005, 08:05 PM

surely there are some more out there

SlamDesigns · 12-17-2005, 11:43 PM

Not Christmas related, but Holiday related....

SlamDesigns · 12-17-2005, 11:47 PM

Vitasoy · 12-17-2005, 11:49 PM

Nice contest.. lol some are hilarious

SlamDesigns · 12-17-2005, 11:49 PM

SlamDesigns · 12-17-2005, 11:51 PM

SlamDesigns · 12-18-2005, 12:22 AM

They keep getting worse...

xNetworx · 12-18-2005, 12:34 AM

Sarah_Jayne · 12-18-2005, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlamDesigns

They keep getting worse...

oh dear

Sarah_Jayne · 12-19-2005, 03:15 PM

Okay folks..one more day to go..don't miss your chance

Sarah_Jayne · 12-20-2005, 05:10 AM

last calls..you have until I go to bed tonight.

Sarah_Jayne · 12-21-2005, 03:23 PM

Thank you everyone. The winners are posted here

12-15-2005, 04:20 AM	#51
volante Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: LAX Immigration Posts: 2,940	Tampax have announced that they're replacing the strings in their tampons with tinsel. However, it's only for the Christmas period. Last edited by volante; 12-15-2005 at 04:21 AM..

12-15-2005, 04:26 AM	#52
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	I want those prices __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

12-15-2005, 04:57 AM	#53
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	A Christmas Poem 'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee. They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub. And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied its bladder. I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash. His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore. That was some brothel, he said with a smile, The reindeer are pooped, I'll just stay here awhile. He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink. I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee. Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed. The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits. A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind. A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention. A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil. This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split. He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve. He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead. In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch! The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, The best thing about sex is that it never wears out! __________________

12-15-2005, 07:18 AM	#54
fedfest Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,334	Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe. She says "Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you'd like to come into my bedroom." Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know." The lovely young thing peels off her robe, revealing a skimpy negligee. Santa looks up from his sack of gifts, and she says "I've got something special for you Santa. Can't you stay for just a little while? I know you want me. Let me make this Christmas eve unforgetable." Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know." Not to be denied, she strips off the negligee, revealing her naughty bits, and they were quite nice naughty bits, I might add. And she says "Santa, this is your last chance. This body is your gift." Santa responds "Hey! Hey! Hey! Gotta stay. Gotta Stay. Can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!" __________________ RewardThem Now Paying Up To 70% Revshare ! Top Converting CCbill affiliate program that will keep your members rebilling. No Traffic Leaks, No Popups, No Bullshit.. You get Credited For EVERYTHING !

12-15-2005, 07:22 AM	#55
bringer i have man boobies Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: van down by the river Posts: 13,082	http://www.jbmconsults.com/movcbk.html __________________ 333-765-551

12-15-2005, 07:47 AM	#56
fedfest Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,334	__________________ RewardThem Now Paying Up To 70% Revshare ! Top Converting CCbill affiliate program that will keep your members rebilling. No Traffic Leaks, No Popups, No Bullshit.. You get Credited For EVERYTHING ! Last edited by fedfest; 12-15-2005 at 07:48 AM..

12-15-2005, 07:49 AM	#57
fedfest Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,334	__________________ RewardThem Now Paying Up To 70% Revshare ! Top Converting CCbill affiliate program that will keep your members rebilling. No Traffic Leaks, No Popups, No Bullshit.. You get Credited For EVERYTHING !

12-15-2005, 07:51 AM	#58
fedfest Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,334	..and last one, then i'm out of this tread __________________ RewardThem Now Paying Up To 70% Revshare ! Top Converting CCbill affiliate program that will keep your members rebilling. No Traffic Leaks, No Popups, No Bullshit.. You get Credited For EVERYTHING !

12-15-2005, 08:03 AM	#59
bringer i have man boobies Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: van down by the river Posts: 13,082	http://www.starterupsteve.com/video/...dreindeer.html its long and quicktime but quite funny __________________ 333-765-551

12-15-2005, 08:37 AM	#60
Marshal Biz Dev and SEO Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 15,180	bump for the funny thread... ;) __________________ --- Busy ranking websites on Google...

12-15-2005, 12:18 PM	#61
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	I must say it is getting good

12-15-2005, 09:36 PM	#62
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	I am up too late..keep them coming.

12-15-2005, 09:59 PM	#63
HAPPYPEEKERS Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Margaritaville Posts: 7,562	__________________ Please Read All Of My Posts In A Sarcastic Tone So You Get The Full Effect!! HappyPeekers - April

12-15-2005, 10:00 PM	#64
HAPPYPEEKERS Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Margaritaville Posts: 7,562	__________________ Please Read All Of My Posts In A Sarcastic Tone So You Get The Full Effect!! HappyPeekers - April

12-15-2005, 10:01 PM	#65
HAPPYPEEKERS Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Margaritaville Posts: 7,562	__________________ Please Read All Of My Posts In A Sarcastic Tone So You Get The Full Effect!! HappyPeekers - April

12-15-2005, 10:02 PM	#67
HAPPYPEEKERS Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Margaritaville Posts: 7,562	__________________ Please Read All Of My Posts In A Sarcastic Tone So You Get The Full Effect!! HappyPeekers - April

12-15-2005, 10:02 PM	#68
HAPPYPEEKERS Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Margaritaville Posts: 7,562	and my favorite... Merry Christmas __________________ Please Read All Of My Posts In A Sarcastic Tone So You Get The Full Effect!! HappyPeekers - April

12-15-2005, 10:14 PM	#69
PamiebDVD Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Hermosa Beach Posts: 912	How about some holiday music? http://www.flatulina.com/files/flatulina2.mp3 __________________ guttermonger.com ICQ: 281-273-698 \| Email: pamela [AT] dvdsforabuck [DOT] com[/SIZE]

12-15-2005, 10:24 PM	#70
reed_4 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 9,640	It's good to know that you took a break from your ananova.com news and started a different thread @sarah_webinc. __________________

12-15-2005, 10:34 PM	#72
Steen2 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,662	__________________ ICQ: 2262.73945

12-16-2005, 05:30 AM	#73
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	Good morning

12-16-2005, 07:42 AM	#75
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	you are laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12-16-2005, 10:14 AM	#77
emjay Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Back in Blighty Posts: 4,277	A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?" The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony." The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years.. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable." The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for...a good man." The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see the f***ing map again."

12-17-2005, 08:05 PM	#79
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	surely there are some more out there

12-17-2005, 11:43 PM	#80
SlamDesigns Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 2,339	Not Christmas related, but Holiday related....

12-17-2005, 11:47 PM	#81
SlamDesigns Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 2,339

12-17-2005, 11:49 PM	#82
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	Nice contest.. lol some are hilarious __________________ [email protected]

12-17-2005, 11:51 PM	#84
SlamDesigns Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 2,339

12-18-2005, 12:22 AM	#85
SlamDesigns Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 2,339	They keep getting worse...

12-18-2005, 12:34 AM	#86
xNetworx So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Whore Island Posts: 14,445

12-19-2005, 03:15 PM	#88
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	Okay folks..one more day to go..don't miss your chance

12-20-2005, 05:10 AM	#89
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	last calls..you have until I go to bed tonight.

12-21-2005, 03:23 PM	#90
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	Thank you everyone. The winners are posted here