Read this guy's response to a cheating ex's apology email lol - GoFuckYourself.com

xNetworx · 12-02-2005, 04:38 PM

Body: The following is an e-mail going around NYC...

The 1st part is a girl's apology email for cheating.

2nd is his hilarious reply which was forwarded to HIS
entire address book and is now circulating everywhere.

Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable
right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First,
let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry,
and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last
person that I would ever want to wrong in any way.
There is no excuse at all or anything that happened,
so I won't even try other than to say all of us had
WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can
handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve
it, I can even handle the ugly words that were
exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking
that you see me as a different person. It is weird,
The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a
smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen
to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if
you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping
that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many
levels, but I am also hoping that this is something
that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy
and stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is
totally strange and weird to say that, and you could
say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you
would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and
I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a
terrible person, because I am not. I know there is
nothing I can say or do to take back what happened.
I am so sorry.

Elizabeth

RESPONSE:

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it
away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken
whores I couldn't care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division
and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing";
Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a
stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for
45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're
taking so long because you ate too much bran that
morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is
grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that
you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not
once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to
think that by saying "Well, I didn't F**k him" somehow
gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't
care less if the world "looked funny" to you
yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow
dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans,
I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually
have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours
straight. The good news for you is that my friends
don't think you're a terrible person, they just think
you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond
who commands about as much respect as your average
child porn collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend
in spin class you really must be doing something wrong
to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you
parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to
know.

PS. I forwarded about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,

Brad

blazin · 12-02-2005, 04:42 PM

Great stuff!

Ice · 12-02-2005, 04:43 PM

Watching you
parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate.

Sosa · 12-02-2005, 04:44 PM

lol blow a guy in the toilet

Chaldoray · 12-02-2005, 04:44 PM

lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Furious_Male · 12-02-2005, 04:46 PM

That is fucking funny

MikeyFingaz · 12-02-2005, 04:51 PM

noiiiiice, lol

:

Drake · 12-02-2005, 04:52 PM

escorpio · 12-02-2005, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pimpporn

you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not
once but twice in a 2 hour

This part made me horny.

Hey You . . . I Know You! · 12-02-2005, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sosa

lol blow a guy in the toilet

The disturbing part is that some poor sap is going to meet this girl in a couple weeks and start dating her. Within a year or two she will be regularly cheating on this poor sap. He will eventually find out and she will cut and paste that same apology to him. Truth is, she has sent that apology to eight different men so far.

Spoff · 12-02-2005, 04:53 PM

LMFAO, that was BRILLIANT! Thanks for that.

The Duck · 12-02-2005, 04:54 PM

Oh my, best reply ever.

StickyGreen · 12-02-2005, 04:55 PM

damn she was sucking some dude's dick while he was waiting for her at the bar? fuck a witty e-mail i woulda knocked her the fuck out...

BradM · 12-02-2005, 04:55 PM

So old but still funny.

Beaver Bob · 12-02-2005, 04:56 PM

that is classic!

CumOnCandi · 12-02-2005, 05:30 PM

wallst · 12-02-2005, 06:40 PM

really just about the only way to treat 'cum guzzling whores'

great find dude

sonofsam · 12-02-2005, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hey You . . . I Know You!

The disturbing part is that some poor sap is going to meet this girl in a couple weeks and start dating her. Within a year or two she will be regularly cheating on this poor sap. He will eventually find out and she will cut and paste that same apology to him. Truth is, she has sent that apology to eight different men so far.

i'magine if she left out the [INSERT GUYS NAME HERE] placeholder in a part of the email

sherie · 12-02-2005, 06:51 PM

LOL oldie but a goodie!!

Sebastian Sands · 12-02-2005, 07:07 PM

Someone give that guy a fleshlight

Translation · 12-02-2005, 07:57 PM

hilarious but undoubtedly fake.

Spunky · 12-02-2005, 08:00 PM

That was quite the witty response

Doctor Dre · 12-02-2005, 08:02 PM

I've just re-read the entire thing ... for the 3rd time . Still funny as hell

12-02-2005, 04:38 PM	#1
xNetworx So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Whore Island Posts: 14,445	Read this guy's response to a cheating ex's apology email lol Body: The following is an e-mail going around NYC... The 1st part is a girl's apology email for cheating. 2nd is his hilarious reply which was forwarded to HIS entire address book and is now circulating everywhere. Brad, It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird, The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened. I am so sorry. Elizabeth RESPONSE: Dear Elizabeth, Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about". You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F**k him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know. PS. I forwarded about 100 people on this email. Talk to you never, Brad

12-02-2005, 04:42 PM	#2
blazin Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 2,781	Great stuff! __________________ I don't endorse a god damn thing......

12-02-2005, 04:43 PM	#3
Ice Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny California Posts: 26,053	Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. __________________ icq 1904905

12-02-2005, 04:46 PM	#6
Furious_Male Doing the grind since 99 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Buffalo NY Posts: 16,881	That is fucking funny __________________ Living in Virtual Reality Contact: Email (preferred): furiousmale .at. gmail - Skype: live:shanedws

12-02-2005, 04:51 PM	#7
MikeyFingaz Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: next to the retards Posts: 1,569	noiiiiice, lol: __________________ ONLY AT JAYMANCASH

12-02-2005, 04:44 PM	#4
Sosa In Tushy Land Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Nebraska Posts: 40,149	lol blow a guy in the toilet

12-02-2005, 04:44 PM	#5
Chaldoray Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 2,868	lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

12-02-2005, 04:52 PM	#8
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508

12-02-2005, 04:53 PM	#11
Spoff Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Burlington,ON Posts: 783	LMFAO, that was BRILLIANT! Thanks for that. __________________ Who the fuck is Spoff????? - 10087393 (ICQ)

12-02-2005, 04:54 PM	#12
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	Oh my, best reply ever. __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

12-02-2005, 04:55 PM	#13
StickyGreen . Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 13,076	damn she was sucking some dude's dick while he was waiting for her at the bar? fuck a witty e-mail i woulda knocked her the fuck out... __________________ Refer Cam Girls and Take Home 10% of Everything They Make For Life

12-02-2005, 04:55 PM	#14
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	So old but still funny.

12-02-2005, 04:56 PM	#15
Beaver Bob Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 1,099	that is classic! __________________ Spunky Dollars \| Need Content? Paysite Owners: Protect Your Members Area with Strongbox 361-574-229

12-02-2005, 05:30 PM	#16
CumOnCandi Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 55	__________________

12-02-2005, 06:40 PM	#17
wallst Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: South East Posts: 1,621	really just about the only way to treat 'cum guzzling whores' great find dude __________________ Earl Miller Cash 20th Congress

12-02-2005, 06:51 PM	#19
sherie Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,020	LOL oldie but a goodie!! __________________ AIM sherierocks ICQ 127-296-286 Skype traffichor

12-02-2005, 07:07 PM	#20
Sebastian Sands Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: ICQ: 211-417-740 Posts: 5,223	Someone give that guy a fleshlight

12-02-2005, 07:57 PM	#21
Translation Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 482	hilarious but undoubtedly fake.

12-02-2005, 08:00 PM	#22
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	That was quite the witty response __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*