Chuck is still my idol action superstar. :thumbsup

now that round house kicking funny shit

i like to start the morning off with a good luagh:

- Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and shits gun powder. Then he uses that gun powder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life".

- In Texas the new death penalty is a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.

- Why does the Earth rotate? Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

- The dinosaurs were not killed by a comet. Chuck Norris destroyed the comet before impact. He then yelled "Psyche!" and proceeded to kill every dinosaur with his roundhouse kicks

- Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter. And he'll roundhouse kick your ass if you say otherwise.

- Chuck Norris can swallow a quarter and shit out 2 dimes. There is a 5 cent charge for this.

- If Chuck Norris ever catches Tom Cruise jumping on his couch, he'll receive a roundhouse kick to the face.

- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

- Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.


:1orglaugh

haha that was great.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

see what you started? :1orglaugh great post, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

There's a randomizer for Mr. T too:

- Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

- A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in the hand of Mr.T is a deadly weapon in 17 states.

- Revolving doors were invented to keep Mr. T from kicking them in all the time.

- Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

- Mr. T survived a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris. He was the first and only one to do so.

- If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun.

- When Dr. Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T.

jibba jabba motherfuckers! :1orglaugh

.

Lol Ahaha

See Sig Guys!

Reading all that funny stuff is a great way to spend a few moments!

There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.


In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.


Vin Diesel invented the black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.


Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.


There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.


-Vin

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was
removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse
kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

50 roundhouse kicks!

Delta rules.

chuck norris rules!!!!

for some reason that cracks me up everytime i read it. :1orglaugh

Me too. Hilarious :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh nice one.

.

:321GFY

Chuck Norris' favorite sandwich is "Filet of Vin Diesel" with a side of Mr. T - with lots of mayo.

Chuck Norris can impregnate women just by winking his right eye. He can impregnate men by winking his left, but he doesn't do it because he hated Arnold's movie "Junior". What a pussy.

Chuck Norris doesn't obey the Law of Gravity. It obeys him.

lmao best one in this thread