Cow Farming - GoFuckYourself.com

Rochard · 11-11-2005, 12:28 AM

DEMOCRATIC

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICANISM

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

SilentKnight · 11-11-2005, 01:30 AM

moo, damnit!

Your Mothers Secret · 11-11-2005, 02:18 AM

I've jacked off to better threads,,,

Bora-Bora · 11-11-2005, 02:50 AM

It's all of our life! Dear citizens of Earth....Don't worry, be happy!

Scott McD · 11-11-2005, 02:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RocHard

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Wtf !!!!!

reynold · 11-11-2005, 03:49 AM

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
__________________

Seen that before but this one is something new.

reed_4 · 11-11-2005, 03:59 AM

Good one rochard.

cranki · 11-11-2005, 04:14 AM

funny stuff!

Antonio · 11-11-2005, 04:44 AM

GFY corporation

You have a tiny cow
You walk around the neighbourhood untill you find a huge cow parked in front of your neighbour's house
You take a picture of the huge cow
You start a new thread: "What do you think of my new cow?"
99% of the GFYers call bullshit
Sonofsam comes to your defence: "He's not lying. He's s stand-up guy!"
Shemp says "Congrats to the winners"
Sleazy calls you an idiot
Life is good

Toni · 11-11-2005, 04:47 AM

Lol, amazing!

Warren · 11-11-2005, 04:53 AM

Thanks Richard, always wondered what that shit was about.

graphical x · 11-11-2005, 04:53 AM

I love this one:
JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Leave it to the Japanese to come up with NANO cows.

I gotta admit, Japanese are extremely clever and resourceful people. No wonder they turned an island with little to no natural resources into an industrial powerhouse.

graphical x · 11-11-2005, 04:55 AM

GFY Corporation

You are a new cow. Everyone says STFU N00b and GFY N00b
You produce more milk than other cows. Everyone says BULLSHIT but secretly tries to copy you.
You run cow sigs. Everyone calls you a SIGWHORE but they have sigs as well--they are just worried they won't get paid as much for being sig whores so they 'call out' everyone else.

11-11-2005, 12:28 AM	#1
Rochard Jägermeister Test Pilot Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NORCAL Posts: 74,009	Cow Farming DEMOCRATIC You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you. REPUBLICANISM You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain. AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up. FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good. JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good. RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons. IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing. POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. BELGIAN CORPORATION You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy. FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow. CALIFORNIA CORPORATION You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegal. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders. __________________ “The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL \| THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION

11-11-2005, 03:59 AM	#7
reed_4 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 9,640	Good one rochard. __________________

11-11-2005, 04:47 AM	#10
Toni Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 2,697	Lol, amazing! __________________ $25-$50 Per Signup, 60%-70% Rev Share, 125+ Sites, Exclusive Sites, tons of free content 70,000+ FHG's, Free Domain Hosting, 10,000+ Hosted FLV's - Need Live Cams? Check out ItsLive.com Fetish Hits paying affiliates since 2001 - Every time on time!

11-11-2005, 04:53 AM	#11
Warren Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Porn Valley Posts: 2,284	Thanks Richard, always wondered what that shit was about. __________________ ICQ:208-603-797 www.altdollars.com

11-11-2005, 04:53 AM	#12
graphical x Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 316	I love this one: JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Leave it to the Japanese to come up with NANO cows. I gotta admit, Japanese are extremely clever and resourceful people. No wonder they turned an island with little to no natural resources into an industrial powerhouse. __________________ No sigs needed.

11-11-2005, 01:30 AM	#2
SilentKnight Megan Fox's fluffer Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: shooting pool in Elysium Posts: 24,818	moo, damnit!

11-11-2005, 02:18 AM	#3
Your Mothers Secret Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 240	I've jacked off to better threads,,,

11-11-2005, 02:50 AM	#4
Bora-Bora Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 21	It's all of our life! Dear citizens of Earth....Don't worry, be happy!

11-11-2005, 03:49 AM	#6
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegal. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders. __________________ Seen that before but this one is something new.

11-11-2005, 04:14 AM	#8
cranki Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Café del Mar Posts: 5,162	funny stuff!

11-11-2005, 04:44 AM	#9
Antonio Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Spartaaaaaaaaa Posts: 14,136	GFY corporation You have a tiny cow You walk around the neighbourhood untill you find a huge cow parked in front of your neighbour's house You take a picture of the huge cow You start a new thread: "What do you think of my new cow?" 99% of the GFYers call bullshit Sonofsam comes to your defence: "He's not lying. He's s stand-up guy!" Shemp says "Congrats to the winners" Sleazy calls you an idiot Life is good

11-11-2005, 04:55 AM	#13
graphical x Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 316	GFY Corporation You are a new cow. Everyone says STFU N00b and GFY N00b You produce more milk than other cows. Everyone says BULLSHIT but secretly tries to copy you. You run cow sigs. Everyone calls you a SIGWHORE but they have sigs as well--they are just worried they won't get paid as much for being sig whores so they 'call out' everyone else. __________________ No sigs needed.