Do parents have the right to know if their daughter has an abortion? - GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

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#1

Do parents have the right to know if their daughter has an abortion?

11-08-2005, 03:48 AM

That is the debate in the UK today because a mother is in court trying to over turn the rulling that parents don't always need to know. Another mother is fighting to not have the morning after pill available to teens without the parents knowing about it.

As I get older I side more with the parents than I would have as a teen but the threat of the girl being treated badly by enraged parents is still there. So, should parentsbe told?
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#2

11-08-2005, 03:56 AM

since teenage pregn is a big issue and - correct me if im wrong - the UK has the highest rate in EU as well, if she's 11-12 yo yes, if shes 25 then they should mind their own thing

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#3

11-08-2005, 04:08 AM

They have the right to know up to 21 or so.
I know a few younger girls who did it in the early stages without their parents knowing. It's kind of sad and sickening at the same time.

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#4

11-08-2005, 04:24 AM

I have a right to know if she is under 18 or older if she lives in my house.

If she is under 18, I damn well have the right to know anything and everything about my kids, for their protection as well as I am 100% responsible for their well being and their messes teens tend to make, so yes I have a right to know.

If she is over 18 and not living in my home, then she is her own person and I am not so hellbent on knowing every little thing. I'd like to think we are close enough that she'd come and talk to me about something like this, but it isn't a must.

If one of my kids came to me in a situation like this and told me, I'd support them 100%, but let someone take a knife to one of them under 18 and they are going to have one pissed off mother. I am brutally protective of my kids and if there was a case like this where she just felt this was a decision she had to make, while I am adamantly against abortions, it's her body and I'd support her on it, but wouldn't have to like it.

When my kids turn of an age where this is going to be a question, we take them and get them protection and talk to them about this. SO many parents don't and those are the ones you see that are having to deal with problems like this. Parents don't pay enough attention to their kids these days. They have a definite "That won't happen to my kid" attitude, but how can we expect them to make right decisions if we don't take the damn time to TEACH them?

Sorry, this one grinds on my nerves, parents don't pay attention and then when shit like this comes up, they somehow think that NOW they have some sort of right to know what's going on? WAKE UP, and pay attention to your kids, and be there for them and you won't be in court telling them how you have rights as a parent!!!

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#5

11-08-2005, 04:38 AM

Difficult one, if the teenager doesn't think she's ready to have a child and knows the parents for whatever reason will not allow her to have an abortion, then it's her choice, she was old enough to ride cock, she should decide the outcome.
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#6

11-08-2005, 04:38 AM

Originally posted by thinkx

since teenage pregn is a big issue and - correct me if im wrong - the UK has the highest rate in EU as well, if she's 11-12 yo yes, if shes 25 then they should mind their own thing

The UK has such crap sex education in schools. For a society that is much more open about sex than the States (though not nearly as open as the Continent) their sex education is apalling. A lot of that stems from the Thatcher era and especially section 28 but don't get me started on that.

Just about the only time I would consider being a teacher would be if they made a call for people to train as sex education teachers...I would have to seriously think about it because this country really needs it.
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#7

11-08-2005, 04:46 AM

Under 18 yes, it's not just a moral issue, it's also health and future health.

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#8

11-08-2005, 05:28 AM

I don't think the teen should be made to tell her parents..

If you have a good relationship with your daughter, she will come and tell you that she is having a baby. Now imagine there is a bad relationship. Incest, or stepdad had his way, etc etc...

I think it should be up to the teen

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#9

11-08-2005, 05:29 AM

Not if shes over 18.
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#10

11-08-2005, 05:30 AM

if she's over 18 they shouldn't have the right to know any of that info

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#11

11-08-2005, 05:32 AM

It depends on the situation, if the girl is a minor then yes she should.

otherwise then no..
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#12

11-08-2005, 05:32 AM

Originally posted by sarah_webinc

The UK has such crap sex education in schools. For a society that is much more open about sex than the States (though not nearly as open as the Continent) their sex education is apalling. A lot of that stems from the Thatcher era and especially section 28 but don't get me started on that.

Just about the only time I would consider being a teacher would be if they made a call for people to train as sex education teachers...I would have to seriously think about it because this country really needs it.

Youre right. I saw some tv docs on it and its horrible. Weve got ppl handing out condoms in clubs, schools, education on schools, gov campaigns bout STDs and a lote more.

Must say the first 11yo giving birth in a highway gas station still has to occur in Holland. Couldnt believe it when I read that the first time...

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#13

11-08-2005, 05:41 AM

Originally posted by Tam

I have a right to know if she is under 18 or older if she lives in my house.

If she is under 18, I damn well have the right to know anything and everything about my kids, for their protection as well as I am 100% responsible for their well being and their messes teens tend to make, so yes I have a right to know.

If she is over 18 and not living in my home, then she is her own person and I am not so hellbent on knowing every little thing. I'd like to think we are close enough that she'd come and talk to me about something like this, but it isn't a must.

If one of my kids came to me in a situation like this and told me, I'd support them 100%, but let someone take a knife to one of them under 18 and they are going to have one pissed off mother. I am brutally protective of my kids and if there was a case like this where she just felt this was a decision she had to make, while I am adamantly against abortions, it's her body and I'd support her on it, but wouldn't have to like it.

When my kids turn of an age where this is going to be a question, we take them and get them protection and talk to them about this. SO many parents don't and those are the ones you see that are having to deal with problems like this. Parents don't pay enough attention to their kids these days. They have a definite "That won't happen to my kid" attitude, but how can we expect them to make right decisions if we don't take the damn time to TEACH them?

Sorry, this one grinds on my nerves, parents don't pay attention and then when shit like this comes up, they somehow think that NOW they have some sort of right to know what's going on? WAKE UP, and pay attention to your kids, and be there for them and you won't be in court telling them how you have rights as a parent!!!

What Tam said
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#14

11-08-2005, 11:23 AM

Tam always has a way with words
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#15

11-08-2005, 01:26 PM

I just get really riled up when I see parents not paying attention when it counts and then trying to force themselves on these kids once it is too damn late. My kids are in no way perfect, but they damn well go to bed each and every night knowing they can come to us about anything under the sun and they know we love them and would die for any one of them. I am not perfect, but I DO acknowledge them without crowding them, and I do respect them as people. So many don't nowadays and it's sad.

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#16

11-08-2005, 01:28 PM

i think if the girl is older than 16-17, then no...but anything 15 or less, yes
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#17

11-08-2005, 01:28 PM

If the child is under the " LEGAL " age, and still lives at home yes. But if the legal age is 16 and they dont live at home, you have no right.

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#18

11-08-2005, 01:35 PM

Touchy subject... one that leads to the question of would attempting to force teens to tell their parents lead to more dire consequences? For instance, would "homemade" abortions start to rise? Botched up super secret coathanger jobs start to appear?

There are always two sides to every debate.

I don't condone kids having sex who aren't ready for the consequences, but I also realize that teenagers will find a way to do what they want, short of being locked in solitary.
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#19

11-08-2005, 01:37 PM

So if the doctor screws up the abortion and the child is maimed or killed, then who is responsilble? Is the state going to take care of her for the rest of her life? It's just ridiculous. As a parent, you have every right to know what is going on with a minor child that you are responsible for.

Abortion is major surgery for god's sake.

Once they are adults, and living on their own, they can do whatever they want.

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#20

11-08-2005, 01:39 PM

if shes under 18, they should know. however just for the morning after pill? i don't consider that 'abortion'.

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#21

11-08-2005, 01:47 PM

Originally posted by Tam

I have a right to know if she is under 18 or older if she lives in my house.

If she is under 18, I damn well have the right to know anything and everything about my kids, for their protection as well as I am 100% responsible for their well being and their messes teens tend to make, so yes I have a right to know.

If she is over 18 and not living in my home, then she is her own person and I am not so hellbent on knowing every little thing. I'd like to think we are close enough that she'd come and talk to me about something like this, but it isn't a must.

If one of my kids came to me in a situation like this and told me, I'd support them 100%, but let someone take a knife to one of them under 18 and they are going to have one pissed off mother. I am brutally protective of my kids and if there was a case like this where she just felt this was a decision she had to make, while I am adamantly against abortions, it's her body and I'd support her on it, but wouldn't have to like it.

When my kids turn of an age where this is going to be a question, we take them and get them protection and talk to them about this. SO many parents don't and those are the ones you see that are having to deal with problems like this. Parents don't pay enough attention to their kids these days. They have a definite "That won't happen to my kid" attitude, but how can we expect them to make right decisions if we don't take the damn time to TEACH them?

Sorry, this one grinds on my nerves, parents don't pay attention and then when shit like this comes up, they somehow think that NOW they have some sort of right to know what's going on? WAKE UP, and pay attention to your kids, and be there for them and you won't be in court telling them how you have rights as a parent!!!

Only big issue is safety for those under 18 whos' parents aren't so great and would / could potential beat them because of it. If such a chance didn't exist, then sure it'd be best if the parents knew.. taking into consideration everyone though, I think it might be a better solution to have the under 18-year-old speak with a therapist / someone first, and then they can ask / talk to them, and before telling the parents find out / ask if their parents would ever be abusive ... the best thing to do during that time though would be to tell them why it's a good idea to prevent getting pregnant again, how to do that, and what benefits parents can have to knowing...

And.. many other variables and small things I didn't necessarily take into account..

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#22

11-08-2005, 01:50 PM

It's a sensitive issue, and there are plenty of gray areas, but I think ultimately it should be the decision of the daughter if she wants to let anyone know about it.

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#23

11-08-2005, 02:05 PM

Originally posted by Nysus

Only big issue is safety for those under 18 whos' parents aren't so great and would / could potential beat them because of it. If such a chance didn't exist, then sure it'd be best if the parents knew.. taking into consideration everyone though, I think it might be a better solution to have the under 18-year-old speak with a therapist / someone first, and then they can ask / talk to them, and before telling the parents find out / ask if their parents would ever be abusive ... the best thing to do during that time though would be to tell them why it's a good idea to prevent getting pregnant again, how to do that, and what benefits parents can have to knowing...

And.. many other variables and small things I didn't necessarily take into account..

Matt

Oh by all means, I agree with this 100%. I was severly abused as a child and there is no way in hell I would have ever told my dad about anything like this. BUT then I was a virgin until I was 17, never took a drink, smoked a cigarette or anything, he had me scared out of my mind that he knew every move I made, so I walked the line, and would still have my ass handed to me for stupid shit... walked across the floor one night and did it while he was pissed about something, next thing I know a jar flew at my face and broke my nose. Was beaten literally to an inch of my life because my mom left him.... shit like that, and went on til I left at 17. So there is no way in hell I would have ever gone to MY parents about a damn thing. Mom abandoned me when I was 7, so I didn't have her....... I was molested 3 times when I was under my dad's care while he was in the house, and all I got when I tried to tell him the first time was the hell beat out of me and told it was my own damn fault. I was 8, so yeah, I was acting like a little slut huh? LOL

There are always extenuating circumstances and I completely agree with you. I was just touching on parents who don't give a shit until it is too late and then think they somehow have a right to get involved at that point. Parents have a tendency today not to even know their kids are alive until someone points that fact out to them and then and only then do they pay attention.

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#24

11-08-2005, 02:05 PM

Since abortion is a surgery, and parents are the ones who sign consent forms for surgeries for children under the age of 18, parents should definitely be informed about their daughters' abortions.

Although I hate using the "slippery slope" argument, here it goes: if kids under age 18 can start to consent to major surgeries such as abortion without their parents' consent, it won't be too long before they'll be able to get boob jobs, liposuction, and other plastic surgeries without parents' consent too!

Honestly, I think that teenagers who get pregnant deserve their consequences! Everybody knows about birth control methods -- many of which are available over the counter without a prescription to anybody who walks into a pharmacy. If a kid insists on playing with fire, I think that just like the rest of us, they should get burned.

When I started having sex, not only was I on the birth control pill, I also used condoms. To this day I use condoms. And guess what -- I've never gotten pregnant! It's as easy as that! If some idiot wants to put aside all the warnings and education about safer sex and go ahead and fuck without protection, they deserve the consequences.
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#25

11-08-2005, 03:09 PM

why not tell the parents? everyone else in the neighborhood already knows it!
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#26

11-08-2005, 03:13 PM

Nice thread and i agree to what Tam said... well said Tam!

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#27

11-08-2005, 03:18 PM

Today is Voting Day, and i am pretty sure they are having a bill about it right now about this very same issue.

I personally disagree with parents knowing.

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#28

11-08-2005, 03:29 PM

If the case involves minors who basically need parental guidance and consent on all the things thy do, then I guess parents do have the rigths to know.
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#29

11-08-2005, 04:54 PM

If they aint living at their parents' house anymore, then I guess they have the right to keep that thing to themselves. But if they are still dependent on them for their shelter, clothing and for the food that they eat, then I think the parents still have all the rights to know.

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#30

11-08-2005, 09:55 PM

Its a parent's responsilibty to oversee how the child runs her life as long as she's a minor.
And besides, to whom do you think the girl will seek refuge if something goes wrong during the process of abortion.

Last edited by webcrawler; 11-08-2005, 09:56 PM.
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#31

11-09-2005, 12:05 AM

Originally posted by webcrawler

Its a parent's responsilibty to oversee how the child runs her life as long as she's a minor.
And besides, to whom do you think the girl will seek refuge if something goes wrong during the process of abortion.

Well, the argument is that there are those that would be offered a fist or a belt as part of the refuge or would be forced to have the baby when they didn't want to carry it full term.
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