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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed.

 
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Old 03-13-2002, 05:44 AM   #1
ThaiChix
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Top 10 list of stupid customer questions / problems ;-)

------------

I need help

My user name and password is CaSe SEnsiTive and I can't get in!

------------

How do they actually manage to sign up ?????

ChrisL
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Old 03-13-2002, 05:46 AM   #2
Ted
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how come stupid email enquiries come from aol email addresses
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Old 03-13-2002, 05:47 AM   #3
CumSensei
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This link is dead, leads to another tgp!
Is another one I see alot
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Old 03-13-2002, 05:59 AM   #4
Slick
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How about this one, I get it all the time.

"Can you please email me more pics ?"
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Old 03-13-2002, 06:01 AM   #5
CumSensei
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thats a good one......

What do you answer if you do?

"Sorry I dont know where to find any more pics

But I heard the net is full of free porn"

HAHA
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Old 03-13-2002, 06:06 AM   #6
ThaiChix
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Quote:
Originally posted by CumSensei


thats a good one......

What do you answer if you do?

"Sorry I dont know where to find any more pics

But I heard the net is full of free porn"

HAHA
Limited offer, get access to 1000's of free pictures - Only $4.94!
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Old 03-13-2002, 06:10 AM   #7
Steve
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Quote:
Originally posted by CumSensei
This link is dead, leads to another tgp!
Is another one I see alot
You must use AGP with the "report bad link" feature on your page. I always see sites use that, and wonder how often surfers bitch about trades.

I'm glad none of my domain e-mails work. I don't know which is worse, the surfer mails or the fucking virus mails that never stop.
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Old 03-13-2002, 06:15 AM   #8
CumSensei
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Yeah im removing it on my new design

But its not that many as you think......ok 40K daily visitors maby 1 report per day on the shave.
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Old 03-13-2002, 07:01 AM   #9
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Just got this one today:
"I can't sign up for realfreeavs.com
My credit cards won't work. Do you have a password and username I could use? "
Dunno if he's just really stupid, or trying to scam me....I gave him realfreeavs's email address
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Old 03-13-2002, 07:08 AM   #10
ThaiChix
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Mule,

Thats a good one

ChrisL
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Old 03-13-2002, 07:26 AM   #11
pipp
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This is one I get alot

"Im gething this error
Fatal error: Call to undefined function: array_key_exists() in mydomain.com on line 92

I have checked my script it has to be the server"

People actualy calling telling me the server is broken bacause of stuff like that !
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Old 03-13-2002, 07:39 AM   #12
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I always get emails, usually foreigners that tell me that they wanna fuck me, ha ha ha. They think that just because I'm a webmaster, that I'm a female slut, ha ha ha.

I can imagine how many emails Boneprone gets like that with his "I'm Courtney" act on his page.
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Old 03-13-2002, 07:44 AM   #13
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"I would like to know how in the fucking hell I got a damn dialer on my computer and a huge phone bill when I don't even have the fucking internet."

This was my favorite of all of them so far to date. I was very calm and straight faced, and very professional and told him there has to have been a file downloaded from the internet because we are not in the habit of sending these out in the mail and I would be happy to help him. We went thru his computer and low and behold, there sat my tattletale file with all the times and dates he accessed it. He said there must be some way that this got onto his computer because he didn't have a modem even on his computer........ which I then asked how he got this number because it can ONLY be gotten off the internet. He paid his bill and I never heard from him again.

This was my favorite in the 3 years I have been in the industry. LMAO
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Old 03-13-2002, 07:55 AM   #14
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I get a lot of emails from people saying "I'm 9 inches uncut and want to get into porno. Can you help?"

I always reply with "Well, we do have a gay anal fisting shoot we're doing next week, what's your schedule?" or "Dude, size doesn't matter, you gotta be able to get it up on cue, from a fat fuck sleazy photographer with a huge mole in the center of his forehead and sometimes, ebtween takes, you gotta suck his tiny dick. Email [email protected] for details"

;))))))))))))
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Old 03-13-2002, 07:58 AM   #15
vegasdude
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Quote:
Originally posted by pipp
This is one I get alot

"Im gething this error
Fatal error: Call to undefined function: array_key_exists() in mydomain.com on line 92

I have checked my script it has to be the server"

People actualy calling telling me the server is broken bacause of stuff like that !
it is...
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Old 03-13-2002, 08:08 AM   #16
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I think i have had around 15 marriage proposals...mostly from Turkish men...
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