To be honest, YOU sound like the crazy one. If my boyfriend was installing key logging software on my computer, hiring a PI to follow me around, and checking my cell phone all the time, I would be PISSED and then I would dump you. Just the thing with you calling her 5 or 6 times in the space of 20 minutes while she's AT WORK is enough for me to suspect that you have some mental issues. Of course she's calling you in advance so you won't call her again at work. Maybe she'd like to actually keep her job and get some work done. Sheesh.

If you've cheated on her and you think she's cheating on you (possibly guilt?) its time to move on. One thing you need to get into your head that "staying for the child" is a complete load of bullshit. Staying for the child does more harm than good.

Fix the relationship or move on. Staying with things the way they are isn't healthy for you, her or the child.

If you can't trust a woman than she definately shouldn't be your wife.

Bro, if you think she is cheating you, she is probably. :(

blowmyass,

do you have ICQ?

I have to say, this hits home for me. I've been through it. It sucks.

I have to say to trust your gut, but I also know that you need confirmation.

When it happend to me, not only did I begin to believe that I was crazy, my friends and family began to think that as well. she would talk to my friends and family and tell them that I was a paranoid jealous person. She projected who she had become at the time on to me and had everyone convinced. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I'm still dealing with it now, however, due to it all, I'm so much more of a person, so much more myself and much stronger now.

If you want, give me you icq.

Ironically, the guy my girl was fucking was named...craig...and was/is her boss.

Dude you are in the worst relationship, ever.

If that guy is her boss, she's fucking him.

lol why do people feel obligated to people they despise or really do not get along with? cut your losses and move the fuck on.. by the way your accusing your girl of all this yet you have no evidence what so ever. i don't know you just sound like a over controlling stalker dude to me.

and you are wondering why she doesn't want to take you inside her? or why she might be looking for someone/thing else?
You may think you were slick and got these past her, but I think you need to give women more credit, they just know these things.

How old is your kid? Why does she feel the need to leave your kid with a friend while she is out of town? You are unable or unwilling to take care of your own?

Hire a private investigator. Or just end it I guess. But end it because it's over for *you*, not because of unsubstantiated suspicions. You'd kick yourself later if you ended it and it was a mistake. And quit spying, hire a pro, lol :)

50 cheaters :pimp

Agreed!

First, I can't believe that I actually read his entire post. lol

Secondly, I honestly don't know how his girlfriend puts up with that, because I know that there's NO WAY I could tolerate it.

blowmyass- no offense, but insecurity is a very unattractive trait. It's obvious that you aren't happy, and there's no way she can be happy having someone checking up and spying on her the way that you are. Life is too short to live it being miserable. Do both you and her a favor and either stop the nonsense, or cut your losses and move on.

geeze

For those that need the cliff notes and dont want to waste 10 minutes of their lives like I did -

Insecure Stalker Dude (ISD) cheats on his baby's mama repeatedly

Because hes a cheater himself he accuses girl of cheating. Most likely she wasnt.

ISD treats girl like shit, goes Mission Impossible on her with spylogger and PI's

Girl starts to realize that ISD is a unstable whack job whos probably cheating on her

Girl fixes herself up and finds a guy with a car and income who doesnt call her 6 times during her lunch break.

ISD feels validated that he was in fact right the entire time and girl was cheating, therefor good thing he cheated too.

Years of therapy follow for child involved.

if you've cheated on her 4 different times, and she knows about it, then yeah.. she's probably cheating on you!

call it quits..

Otherwise, hire a PD for more than a day, or, follow her around yourself.. stalk her at lunch for a week, and see where she goes...

I am in a similiar situation... I suspect my gf is cheating or has cheated, but not *that* much... just some suspicious things like she freaked out when I was messing with her cell phone, and there is some guys that are her *friends* that I suspect like her. so I was thinking of going the spyware route since she most likely chats with them online if she is cheating... otherwise I don't have any real proof of course...

you two are immature idiots to put a child through all of your bullshit. the kids deserves better parents than either one of you are.

:2 cents: :2 cents:

Hope you got a prenup.

This is about the most insecure group of guys I have ever seen posting in one place. If you can't trust your wife then you don't have a good relationship. If you're cheating, you don't have a good relationship.

Btw, she's probably calling you obessively throughout the day because she's tired of you asking her where she is every minute and calling her 10 times a day. That kind of freaky stalker behaviour is enough to make anyone paranoid about being accused of doing something wrong.

WHY ARE YOU TOGETHER?
(Also, how old are you? My bet is 19-20)

Women want men that are confident, solid and can take care of them as a man should. That is what I do for my wife and kids....

What do you offer her to stay there??... lets see: Your being broke, constantly being accused of cheating and being followed???...

Take all your energy you devote into this insane ploy you have in mind and focus it into your business... You'll have more money, more confidence and more to offer as a man to your woman and child.

You wont have time to wonder if she's the company pincushion...

From being in corporate IT mainstream business for 10+ years -- everyone in the office practially has fucked or wants to fuck each other, its the laws of nature...Get used to it.... Most guys there have already sized her up day1.

In the Office You will spend more time with your work crew than you do your significant other....You cry on each others shoulder, you know their lives, their preferences, everything.... and there are no bills to pay, no kids to deal with, no nothing other than just making money and being around each other. Add in the fact that she's dressed up for being at work and probably younger than 30....

My advice to you: Get a FIRM grip on reality, direct your energy into your business and stop fucking around on her.... Be a real man and provide.

fucking bail, its obviously stressing you out, even if you don't catch her it'll still bug you forever.

if you dont trust her, get rid of her. you should never have to question your girl (or man.)

Here is my look on this.

If she is, leave her. You don't need a girl like this.
If she isn't, leave her. She don't need a guy like you.

Murderous

AHAHA.. Brillant. TY!

If she wasn't cheating your behavior would be enough to drive her to do so. Sometimes in life you can't take the easy way out and wait for "proof" of something like infidelity. All the proof you need is evident in your day to day life. The reality is that you both have cheating hearts and a relationship that is obviously not meant to be.

Brad

You have severe mental problems. Congrats.

Dude, if you feel she's cheating, she is.

is it posible she's not cheating at all and you're just paranoid?

I have to agree with some of the posts that state that you really should look in the mirror at a lot of the problems you are having. Hiring private detectives, tracking her online activity, and digging through everything in her life isn't healthy for any relationship. If she hasn't cheated, you are likely pushing her toward it. Have you ever considered that maybe you are just being paranoid?

However, this seems like it is incredibilly stressful on your life. I know you love her and probably the life you have, but if it is making you miserable, I'd say leave regardless. I can't imagine being happy having to sit around and find out if your signifigant other is cheating on you. Here are my 3 suggestions:

1) Keep digging. This will cause you a lot of hassle and time. You may never find anything and your life may be miserable during it.

2) Demand she prove her innocence. She has to take some responsibility in the relationship to make you feel comfortable with her. If she is making jokes, playing games, or whatever, it needs to stop. If she can't make you feel better, you should leave.

3) Bluff. Act like you caught her. Pretend to be really mad and when she asks, just say "you'll see". If she thinks you caught her, she'll admit it most likely. It's risky, but it works.

Seriously wish you the best of luck in your situation.

Today she told me she would be working late due to a screw up when she was out of town.. I got a rental car this morning and caught her driving from the office to a hotel.. She pulled in and went in the building. I waited a half hour and she hadn't left.

Now THAT is enough proof for me ...

I'm sure she will try to explain her way out of it but I'm not even going to tell her htis weekend, I am just going to go out and have my own fund and pretty much flaunt it. In a couple weeks my new job starts up and I will leave her.

So.. to everyone who called me crazy ?

Don't hire a PI; just make a few more post on GFY about this. Someone will figure out a solution shortly.

Damn that sucks man. I guess sometimes when you have a suspision your gut is right.

I'd dump her ass today if I were you.

Find out what room it is then...... :BangBang: :ak47:

She will explain her way out of this.... and I bet you believe her too :1orglaugh

Maybe she was at a business conference.

That's just childish. Confront her and end it. You're just going to end up looking like an asshole if you play games like that. Also, hotels have meeting/conference rooms. Call the hotel and ask if her company has a room reserved before you jump to conclusions.

I meant to ask before...does she know you cheated before? What makes it ok for you to do it, but it's a deal-breaker if she does it?

I have a solution for you. Hit me up on ICQ.

Jesus Christ getting paranoid much? Buddy, if you gotta start watching her to that extent, she's not in a relationship with you, she's serving a sentence.


And why the hell would you suscribe to an adult webmaster board and ask us such questions? We're mostly hornly lonely men here... not the best people to give you advice about your problem

I'm sorry to say that you are slowly turning into the "asshole boyfriend that other people don't like"... everyone has had a friend who dated a guy like you... too damn insecure to just TRUST his partner, making her life a living hell for no good reason... I'd say break it off, go see a shrink and move on.

Relationships are about, TRUST. If you don't have that, you don't have a relationship.

The trust between you is shot... there is no satisfying sex life between you... there is no "relationship" anymore. You are now roommates with the mom of your child.

If you don't want to leave, the two of you should get a bigger place and each get your own bedroom. There's nothing wrong with both of you living under the same roof to support your child as they grow up, but it's time to realize that the two of you are definitely no longer "an item".

How long do you have to give CPR to a dead relationship before you realize it's dead?

You can always get an inexpensive voice activated recorder and tuck it away.. If somethin's goin on, I'm sure she'd be on the phone with him sometime through the day..

It's fun to say, "What's up with this?" then play it back and watch the expressions.. :)

I read all your posts and I'm very sorry :(
That sucks bad. If you ever think about doing stupid stuff like the "Cheaters" idea posted on the 1st page, think in your daughter.

Good luck, man.