So we waxed Gabe's back last night... - GoFuckYourself.com

TondaB · 10-25-2005, 10:05 AM

He thought it was going to be painless...NOT!

For all you guys that think waxing is so easy and pain free and for the girls that just need a good laugh read below:

This has to be one of the funniest and most god-awful scenarios I have
ever heard of... Bless this woman!!!

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now.... The
Wax!!

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix dinner;
played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
in my mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should pull the wax out of the
medicine cabinet?"

So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom.
It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off!

No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl, but I
am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out.
*YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other,
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh, how this phrase
haunts me!). I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do
this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all
wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!!

With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I
sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the bikini
line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside
of my butt cheek Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace
myself....

RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of
the strip. S**T!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP...

Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums?????
OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with
my hairy pelt that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to
revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it! Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair...

The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax.
S**T!!!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now
covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . .. . .
Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do
something, so I put my foot down. DAMN!!!

I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut!
Butt?? Sealed shut!!! I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off." Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??
*WRONG!!!!*

I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only
thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having
them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding
hot water!! Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!!

God bless the man who convinced me I should have a phone in the
bathroom!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret
of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter, "So my
butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight
pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to hide the laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom, "Are we
talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!! Right!!!!!!
I would be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various
solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels
better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut,
stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry shaving the sticky wax
off!!!

By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major knock and I
slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my
hand reaches towards the saving grace... The lotion they give you to
remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my
friend, but I really don't care!!

IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and
she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then
notice, to my grief and despair...

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT !!!!!!!!!!!
So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color.

u-Bob · 10-25-2005, 10:11 AM

funny

RuthB · 10-25-2005, 10:12 AM

lol.. that was a good one Tonda..

but yknow....

this thread is useless without pics

Funbrunette · 10-25-2005, 10:13 AM

ROFL!!!!!!! I want some pics!

OzMan · 10-25-2005, 10:27 AM

I would pay to watch a video of that

blazi · 10-25-2005, 10:28 AM

hey OzMan, maybe that's a good idea for a new niche

Peaches · 10-25-2005, 10:35 AM

Men had NO idea what we go through to look this great!

Honez · 10-25-2005, 10:45 AM

Ahaha, reminds me of the story of our experiment with "Nads" and Cole's back

baddog · 10-25-2005, 10:46 AM

Long ago I had a g/f that would wax herself with the hot wax (she owned all that beauty shop hardware), and she would let me watch. One time she allowed me to assist.

Long story short, from that point on I never had any doubts about the trouble women went thru for us guys. . . . even if I do question whether they doll up to impress us or other women.

Kenny B! · 10-25-2005, 10:47 AM

I've always wated to say it so here it goes: this thread is useless without pics!

Manowar · 10-25-2005, 10:59 AM

hahahaahahahahahaa

PrivateEye · 10-25-2005, 11:00 AM

I waxed Happy one time and fucked it all up lol

It was hot wax and I put it all over her and decided to let it harden so it could get it all. Crazy thing is you dont let it harden or you cant get it off lmao

It was a pretty fun trying to get it off ;-)

gangbangjoe · 10-25-2005, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manowar

hahahaahahahahahaa

i second that emotion

HAPPYPEEKERS · 10-25-2005, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deeprub

I waxed Happy one time and fucked it all up lol

It was hot wax and I put it all over her and decided to let it harden so it could get it all. Crazy thing is you dont let it harden or you cant get it off lmao

It was a pretty fun trying to get it off ;-)

NO.. NO IT WAS NOT FUN TRYING TO GET IT OFF

Sheri Santiago · 10-25-2005, 11:44 AM

Laser Hair Removal.

Or at least next time you attempt it, can I watch? ;)

SetTheWorldonFire · 10-25-2005, 11:46 AM

ouch!

the agony

Gabriel · 10-25-2005, 11:48 AM

It wasn't that bad, kinda like getting slapped. Chicks just cant handle pain like men.

xclusive · 10-25-2005, 11:51 AM

Getting waxed gabe? You've been hanging around Cory to much before you know it you will have a little pug be taking artistic pictures and skipping football to go clothes shopping

TondaB · 10-25-2005, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenny B!

I've always wated to say it so here it goes: this thread is useless without pics!

At first I did it in the shape of a T and I wanted to take a pic but he took the camera away.

No pics

Honez · 10-25-2005, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabriel

It wasn't that bad, kinda like getting slapped. Chicks just cant handle pain like men.

Let's see you poop out a 9lb baby then make that statement.

TondaB · 10-25-2005, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honez

Let's see you poop out a 9lb baby then make that statement.

Get him Hone!

Bex · 10-25-2005, 01:46 PM

Haha, that story is awesome.

Gabriel · 10-25-2005, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honez

Let's see you poop out a 9lb baby then make that statement.

You dont really want to see that do you?

GTS Mark · 10-25-2005, 06:52 PM

KELLLLLLLY CLARRRRRRKSOOOOOON!!!!!!

LMAO!

DH

Spunky · 10-25-2005, 06:57 PM

I was partially aroused with that funny story

PixeLs · 10-25-2005, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabriel

It wasn't that bad, kinda like getting slapped. Chicks just cant handle pain like men.

That's it! I admire you for that man. I hate getting waxed.

OY · 10-25-2005, 07:01 PM

Uhhh, pictures?

nofx · 10-25-2005, 07:10 PM

ST!

go gabe ;]

10-25-2005, 10:05 AM	#1
TondaB Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: California Posts: 3,162	So we waxed Gabe's back last night... He thought it was going to be painless...NOT! For all you guys that think waxing is so easy and pain free and for the girls that just need a good laugh read below: This has to be one of the funniest and most god-awful scenarios I have ever heard of... Bless this woman!!! All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now.... The Wax!! My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet?" So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off! No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl, but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. YA THINK!!! So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh, how this phrase haunts me!). I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!! With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. ST!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP... Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums????? OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it! Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. ST!!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . .. . . Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something, so I put my foot down. DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!!! I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off." Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?? WRONG!!!! I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water!! Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man who convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter, "So my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!! Right!!!!!! I would be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!! By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major knock and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace... The lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care!! IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice, to my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT !!!!!!!!!!! So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color. __________________ ICQ: 61462417

10-25-2005, 10:12 AM	#3
RuthB Let's Get Paxumized! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,247	lol.. that was a good one Tonda.. but yknow.... this thread is useless without pics __________________ Send & Receive Mass Global Payments - Mass P2P/Wire/EFT/SEPA - Adult Industry Friendly - Award Winning Payment Service - Fast, Reliable & Secure! Paxum ...... Paxum Bank Email: [email protected] ~ Telegram: PaxumRuth

10-25-2005, 10:13 AM	#4
Funbrunette Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 4,834	ROFL!!!!!!! I want some pics! __________________ Stephanie (Funbrunette) [email protected] ICQ: 155-713-409

10-25-2005, 10:28 AM	#6
blazi Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Closer now Posts: 4,321	hey OzMan, maybe that's a good idea for a new niche __________________ makingcoin.com - 100% payouts coinscuties.com

10-25-2005, 10:45 AM	#8
Honez Confirmed Brat Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Colorado Springs, CO Posts: 6,636	Ahaha, reminds me of the story of our experiment with "Nads" and Cole's back __________________ Your Paysite Partner Hone at YourPaysitePartner dot Com Skype - Stressmonkey

10-25-2005, 10:11 AM	#2
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	funny

10-25-2005, 10:27 AM	#5
OzMan Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Los Begas Posts: 9,162	I would pay to watch a video of that

10-25-2005, 10:35 AM	#7
Peaches Old broad Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Away Posts: 13,933	Men had NO idea what we go through to look this great!

10-25-2005, 10:46 AM	#9
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	Long ago I had a g/f that would wax herself with the hot wax (she owned all that beauty shop hardware), and she would let me watch. One time she allowed me to assist. Long story short, from that point on I never had any doubts about the trouble women went thru for us guys. . . . even if I do question whether they doll up to impress us or other women.

10-25-2005, 10:47 AM	#10
Kenny B! Confirmed Abuser Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 5,717	I've always wated to say it so here it goes: this thread is useless without pics! __________________ Kenny -at- YourPaysitePartner.com Skype: kennyb514 Do business with us: Your Paysite Partner Kenny's Pennies Sticky Dollars Radical Cash Indie Bucks Stand Ahead Read My Ambush Interview Here

10-25-2005, 10:59 AM	#11
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	hahahaahahahahahaa

10-25-2005, 11:00 AM	#12
PrivateEye Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Dirty South Posts: 1,784	I waxed Happy one time and fucked it all up lol It was hot wax and I put it all over her and decided to let it harden so it could get it all. Crazy thing is you dont let it harden or you cant get it off lmao It was a pretty fun trying to get it off ;-) __________________ Arkansas Escort Ads

10-25-2005, 11:44 AM	#15
Sheri Santiago Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Scottsdale Posts: 1,584	Laser Hair Removal. Or at least next time you attempt it, can I watch? ;) __________________ Wild West Cash Royal Vault...$30+PPS, HD Sites

10-25-2005, 11:46 AM	#16
SetTheWorldonFire Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: California Posts: 7,444	ouch! the agony __________________ www.STWOFDesign.com hit me up on icq 154206276 or Skype: JaimeGizzle

10-25-2005, 11:48 AM	#17
Gabriel Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: So*Cal Posts: 4,789	It wasn't that bad, kinda like getting slapped. Chicks just cant handle pain like men. __________________ ICQ#: 142295729

10-25-2005, 11:51 AM	#18
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	Getting waxed gabe? You've been hanging around Cory to much before you know it you will have a little pug be taking artistic pictures and skipping football to go clothes shopping __________________ I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /

10-25-2005, 01:46 PM	#22
Bex Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 2,382	Haha, that story is awesome. __________________ www.NicheWealth.com

10-25-2005, 06:52 PM	#24
GTS Mark Vrume Mark Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 20,912	KELLLLLLLY CLARRRRRRKSOOOOOON!!!!!! LMAO! DH

10-25-2005, 06:57 PM	#25
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	I was partially aroused with that funny story __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

10-25-2005, 07:01 PM	#27
OY Industry Pioneer Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA/EU/ASIA Posts: 5,401	Uhhh, pictures? __________________ Around since 1997, and the company that introduced "Cascading Billing" in MPA3® Affiliate Management and Tracking Software Outsourcing With A Norwegian Twist - NordBits - Inquire within!

10-25-2005, 07:10 PM	#28
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	ST! go gabe ;] __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.