My blog pretty much rules... - GoFuckYourself.com

xxxjay · 08-25-2005, 04:51 PM

A Quick Hilter Skilter End O' Summer Party Guide

I know it's been a while since I've busted some original vile verbal vomit. You will have to excuse me; I've been very busy clouding my peanut sized brain chock-full-?o copious Godzilla-sized doses of drugs and liquor. My busy Hollywood party schedule may have slowed my writing some, but I have assimilated some great partying tips that may spice up the doldrums of your summer's dog daze.

For a bender you need a crew. Most of your working friends know better than to hang out with you because they?ve been waking up the last eight Wednesdays morning's in a row with the "worst hangover ever" and are not about to do it again. It is helpful to create some helpful euphemisms based abound the "let's go out for one drink" lie to trick them again.

When I write "Jays Big Book of Lies" these will be the three biggest lies of all time:

1. "The check is in the mail."
2. "No, I won't cum in your mouth."
3. "Let's go out for a (singular) drink.

People are immune to #3 by now. That is why I find it helpful to suggest "a light evening of {insert activity here"}. For {insert activity here} you need to make sure that it's the one thing your friend is least able to turn down, but suggest it not be done in excess. For example:

"Let's go out for a light evening of {whoring}."

It works every time; just a little food and drink -- nothing to fancy, but once you've you step outside that door -- you must begin:

RAISING THE ODDS: When "raising the odds" you take the vice you picked and pump it up a notch. Not enough sluts around? Raise the odds. Only mildly drunk? Raise the odds. On drugs yet? Raise the fuckin' odds! At first you accomplice will resist your attempt to "raise the odds", but, as an experienced "odds raiser" themselves, will know that resistance if futile and nothing but a ruse. I myself am an admitted odds raiser -- you only live once, so raise the states -- but then you are faced with another big decision: Weather or not to GO BIG?

GOING BIG: Nothing good ever happens when you "go big", however it can be a lot of fun. Usually it is best to plan to "go big" in advance -- have prearranged bail money, the next day free extend the bender, keep 400 Advil on hand the impending hangover, and a lawyer or two can be handy -- often you might "raise the odds" too much and accidentally "go big"! If you want to have fun, sometimes, you've got to pay. It is helpful to have some "big boy" apparel (aviator glasses, fur coats, etc) to signify to those known to you that you are "going big" and they can distance themselves accordingly. A large group will often impede the progress of "going big", so it is helpful to have an ?ASPARAGUS PLAN?.

OPERATION ASPARGUS: During an "Asparagus Operation" you and your coolest friend ditch whatever large group of lame guys you are currently with to up the chances of "raising the odds" and maybe even "go big". When one of you says the word "asparagus" the pair will quietly break off from the pack unnoticed; hopefully move on and raise some real hell -- as will be identified by the color coded threat level of ones gums:

THE TREAT LEVEL OF YOUR GUMS: Often time the process of "going big" can be a treacherous one; it is helpful to remind your peers of just what level you are on by giving periodic updates on the exact status of your gums:

"My gums are a fine shade of cobalt blue." = Early stages of beer intoxication (6-8 beers) perhaps mixed in with some marijuana.

"My gums are a deep hue of alabaster." = Liquor intake accelerating -- Jagermeister has definitely kicked in at this point. It won't be long until?

"My gums are indeed a fine shade of chartreuse." = Over fifteen beers, perhaps some martinis, definite Jagermeister intake, cocaine has now entered the equation.

"My gums are an epervecant shade bright stunning magenta." = A rare and glorious time. Psychedelics are at play here. Gums do not turn bright magenta until at least the twelfth hour of a good stretch. Indeed, ones brain may be an ?epervecant shade bright stunning magenta? to boot.

Regardless of the threat level of your gums, weather you're raising the odds or if want to go big -- remember this as you are hurtling into
mid-asparagus: Everything that I have mentioned leads one
direction: DOWN.

Indeed, the situation will continue to deteriorate untill you will find yourself where I've found myself on numerous occasions throughout this
summer:

FUCKED UP AS JESSE JACKSON'S CHECK BOOK!
Peace out,
Jay

From:
http://www.jays-xxx-links.com/sex-blog/

I don't know many blog writers that put that kind of effort in their content.

for me.

Ice · 08-25-2005, 04:53 PM

xxxjay · 08-25-2005, 04:55 PM

What was the origional thread with all of those photoshops of me, Corey, and 12clicks? That shit was too funny!

Ice · 08-25-2005, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxjay

What was the origional thread with all of those photoshops of me, Corey, and 12clicks? That shit was too funny!

It was some Weg Cash contest... I think I won 100 bucks for that pic

xxxjay · 08-25-2005, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iceicebaby

It was some Weg Cash contest... I think I won 100 bucks for that pic

Do you have the url?

Ice · 08-25-2005, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxjay

What was the origional thread with all of those photoshops of me, Corey, and 12clicks? That shit was too funny!

found it

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...light=12clicks

Rui · 08-25-2005, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iceicebaby

Wtf is that shit on their dicks?

wierdos

Nicky · 08-25-2005, 05:22 PM

wow, pretty awesome blog input

seeric · 08-25-2005, 05:22 PM

OMG! that pic is wrong in so many ways. ROFL.

abyss_al · 08-25-2005, 05:24 PM

thats a pimp jacket

je_rome · 08-25-2005, 05:24 PM

are those penis enlarging pumps?

xxxjay · 08-25-2005, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A1R3K

OMG! that pic is wrong in so many ways. ROFL.

Damn - that goody picture stole my thunder...see:
http://www.jays-xxx-links.com/sex-blog/

MarcWomack · 08-25-2005, 05:31 PM

AHAHA, glad you're getting your creative juices flowing again bro!

Ramster · 08-25-2005, 05:35 PM

Nice Jay.

Where you get all the good babble at is beyond me, but it's good shit.

1hoho · 08-25-2005, 05:42 PM

wow Jay...got some time on your hands.... that is 1 long post

Tanker · 08-25-2005, 05:44 PM

XXXJay I just spent half an hour reading your blog! Awesome spewing of verbal spunk.

Good shit

Tanker

tristan_D · 08-25-2005, 05:45 PM

that's a very good one, jay.

TMM_John · 08-25-2005, 05:45 PM

LOL, I actually stumbled across your Blog a while ago and wound up reading it for a while. Afriad to go back now!

SpacemanSpiff · 08-25-2005, 05:45 PM

Great blog man. And you're right, Raven Riley is fucking hot.

PixeLs · 08-25-2005, 05:50 PM

Hahaha, you are such a genius Jay.

Ycaza · 08-25-2005, 05:51 PM

sober or not, I will tell you my philosophy: "anything worth doing is worth doing is worth doing till its life threating Goin Big sounds like that.

sherie · 08-25-2005, 05:57 PM

Your writing always moves me to tears Jay...Gawd bless brother!

Linkster · 08-25-2005, 06:01 PM

Jay - Im putting up a link to your blog tomorrow and will do a quickie review although you know my writing isnt even close to your spew

I'll hit you up in the afternoon

xxxjay · 08-25-2005, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linkster

Jay - Im putting up a link to your blog tomorrow and will do a quickie review although you know my writing isnt even close to your spew

I'll hit you up in the afternoon

Post me a link Mr. Linkster! I guess I can know hijack my own thread and hit other people up for some blog trades.

Post in this thread if you've got 'em. I am kind of picky about who I trade with - I'd like to see some people with good content (aka readers) step up.

reynold · 08-25-2005, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherie

Your writing always moves me to tears Jay...Gawd bless brother!

Hahaha--and strengthens my positive outlook in life

BT · 08-25-2005, 06:09 PM

that is some good stuff. LMAO

D-Money · 08-25-2005, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iceicebaby

Great chop!

Ramos · 08-25-2005, 06:30 PM

very nice....lol....

RogerV · 08-25-2005, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iceicebaby

LOL

Nader · 08-25-2005, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abyss_al

thats a pimp jacket

on the roof top again..man that's sweet spot and a nice view thanks for inviting the last time.

Juicy D. Links · 08-25-2005, 06:38 PM

thats me doing the interview in the pic pimp pimp

TinaBallina · 08-25-2005, 06:41 PM

Jay, I must say that was some serious fucking effort, wouldn't expect anything less from ya.........LMAO

xoxo

ps....you going to join up with me in AZ or what bitch?

mb · 08-25-2005, 07:30 PM

I wish my attention span were longer because Jay's a great writer and there is probably some great stuff to read in his blog.

marc

reed_4 · 08-25-2005, 08:15 PM

Great Blog you got there man.

swami · 08-25-2005, 08:23 PM

Trade links with mine if you are game Jay.
http://www.newsinsider.org/stories/adult/

MikeHawk · 08-25-2005, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iceicebaby

OmG.................that pic is just so wrong

Jay....nice blog buddy!............

BlingDaddy · 08-25-2005, 09:31 PM

This hurts my head.

Donny · 08-25-2005, 09:33 PM

That Donovan Phillips guy has a nice blog that he puts a lot into also. Donny's Ramblings or something. Seems he links to yours and vice versa. Guess good blogs stick together!

Nysus · 08-25-2005, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iceicebaby

That's just way too much. LOL. Rock on.

Matt

PixeLs · 08-25-2005, 10:21 PM

Two thumbs up for that awesome stuff!

SlickRick · 08-25-2005, 11:20 PM

Nice blog Jay.
And the pump pic isnt right...LOL

Trixie Racer · 08-26-2005, 07:41 AM

Bookmarked!

Juilan · 08-26-2005, 09:07 AM

LMAO some fucking entertaining reading man. Wish more porn blogs were as well written and worth the time.

Linkster · 08-26-2005, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxjay

I guess I can know hijack my own thread and hit other people up for some blog trades.
.

Ha ha - as if you werent going to do it without my prompting

But glad to help out the circle! Still need to get up with ya for that other stuff we were both too "tied up" to talk about in Miami

V_RocKs · 08-27-2005, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iceicebaby

Nice pic!

PussyTeenies · 08-27-2005, 02:06 AM

can you teach me how to make such a great blog?

sicone · 08-27-2005, 02:10 AM

awesome blog

V_RocKs · 08-27-2005, 02:27 AM

Nice Blog

iBanker · 08-27-2005, 02:28 AM

Jay, hit me up

Doctor Dre · 09-10-2005, 05:15 PM

Made my friend read this thread. This was hillarious !

08-25-2005, 04:51 PM	#1
xxxjay Tube groupie. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: LoScandalous, CA Posts: 13,482	My blog pretty much rules... A Quick Hilter Skilter End O' Summer Party Guide I know it's been a while since I've busted some original vile verbal vomit. You will have to excuse me; I've been very busy clouding my peanut sized brain chock-full-?o copious Godzilla-sized doses of drugs and liquor. My busy Hollywood party schedule may have slowed my writing some, but I have assimilated some great partying tips that may spice up the doldrums of your summer's dog daze. For a bender you need a crew. Most of your working friends know better than to hang out with you because they?ve been waking up the last eight Wednesdays morning's in a row with the "worst hangover ever" and are not about to do it again. It is helpful to create some helpful euphemisms based abound the "let's go out for one drink" lie to trick them again. When I write "Jays Big Book of Lies" these will be the three biggest lies of all time: 1. "The check is in the mail." 2. "No, I won't cum in your mouth." 3. "Let's go out for a (singular) drink. People are immune to #3 by now. That is why I find it helpful to suggest "a light evening of {insert activity here"}. For {insert activity here} you need to make sure that it's the one thing your friend is least able to turn down, but suggest it not be done in excess. For example: "Let's go out for a light evening of {whoring}." It works every time; just a little food and drink -- nothing to fancy, but once you've you step outside that door -- you must begin: RAISING THE ODDS: When "raising the odds" you take the vice you picked and pump it up a notch. Not enough sluts around? Raise the odds. Only mildly drunk? Raise the odds. On drugs yet? Raise the fuckin' odds! At first you accomplice will resist your attempt to "raise the odds", but, as an experienced "odds raiser" themselves, will know that resistance if futile and nothing but a ruse. I myself am an admitted odds raiser -- you only live once, so raise the states -- but then you are faced with another big decision: Weather or not to GO BIG? GOING BIG: Nothing good ever happens when you "go big", however it can be a lot of fun. Usually it is best to plan to "go big" in advance -- have prearranged bail money, the next day free extend the bender, keep 400 Advil on hand the impending hangover, and a lawyer or two can be handy -- often you might "raise the odds" too much and accidentally "go big"! If you want to have fun, sometimes, you've got to pay. It is helpful to have some "big boy" apparel (aviator glasses, fur coats, etc) to signify to those known to you that you are "going big" and they can distance themselves accordingly. A large group will often impede the progress of "going big", so it is helpful to have an ?ASPARAGUS PLAN?. OPERATION ASPARGUS: During an "Asparagus Operation" you and your coolest friend ditch whatever large group of lame guys you are currently with to up the chances of "raising the odds" and maybe even "go big". When one of you says the word "asparagus" the pair will quietly break off from the pack unnoticed; hopefully move on and raise some real hell -- as will be identified by the color coded threat level of ones gums: THE TREAT LEVEL OF YOUR GUMS: Often time the process of "going big" can be a treacherous one; it is helpful to remind your peers of just what level you are on by giving periodic updates on the exact status of your gums: "My gums are a fine shade of cobalt blue." = Early stages of beer intoxication (6-8 beers) perhaps mixed in with some marijuana. "My gums are a deep hue of alabaster." = Liquor intake accelerating -- Jagermeister has definitely kicked in at this point. It won't be long until? "My gums are indeed a fine shade of chartreuse." = Over fifteen beers, perhaps some martinis, definite Jagermeister intake, cocaine has now entered the equation. "My gums are an epervecant shade bright stunning magenta." = A rare and glorious time. Psychedelics are at play here. Gums do not turn bright magenta until at least the twelfth hour of a good stretch. Indeed, ones brain may be an ?epervecant shade bright stunning magenta? to boot. Regardless of the threat level of your gums, weather you're raising the odds or if want to go big -- remember this as you are hurtling into mid-asparagus: Everything that I have mentioned leads one direction: DOWN. Indeed, the situation will continue to deteriorate untill you will find yourself where I've found myself on numerous occasions throughout this summer: FUCKED UP AS JESSE JACKSON'S CHECK BOOK! Peace out, Jay From: http://www.jays-xxx-links.com/sex-blog/ I don't know many blog writers that put that kind of effort in their content. for me. __________________ http://donttellmehowtoruinmylife.com/ - http://www.jmdigitalmarketing.com/my...s-and-reviews/ - http://www.wouldyouhitit.org - http://shinyobjectreviews.com/ Last edited by xxxjay; 08-25-2005 at 04:53 PM..

08-25-2005, 04:53 PM	#2
Ice Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny California Posts: 26,053	__________________ icq 1904905

08-25-2005, 05:22 PM	#8
Nicky Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden Posts: 30,069	wow, pretty awesome blog input __________________ gfynicky @ gmail.com

08-25-2005, 05:24 PM	#10
abyss_al LOOKING FOR TRADES Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Southern California Posts: 15,605	thats a pimp jacket __________________ EMAIL: allen @ vasmediagroup.com \| ICQ: 311329761 \| SKYPE: abyss.al \| AIM: xABYSSxALx

08-25-2005, 05:24 PM	#11
je_rome Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,846	are those penis enlarging pumps? __________________ Make money on any traffic. Join KlikRevenue.com Today!

08-25-2005, 04:55 PM	#3
xxxjay Tube groupie. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: LoScandalous, CA Posts: 13,482	What was the origional thread with all of those photoshops of me, Corey, and 12clicks? That shit was too funny! __________________ http://donttellmehowtoruinmylife.com/ - http://www.jmdigitalmarketing.com/my...s-and-reviews/ - http://www.wouldyouhitit.org - http://shinyobjectreviews.com/

08-25-2005, 05:22 PM	#9
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	OMG! that pic is wrong in so many ways. ROFL.

08-25-2005, 05:31 PM	#13
MarcWomack Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 529	AHAHA, glad you're getting your creative juices flowing again bro! __________________ Regards, MarcWomack.com Internet Advertising & Outsourcing Consultant

08-25-2005, 05:35 PM	#14
Ramster Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Ottawa, Canada Posts: 1,447	Nice Jay. Where you get all the good babble at is beyond me, but it's good shit. __________________ Fcuk Cash - Backroom Casting Couch, ExCoGi, BlackAmbush DarkReach Cash - Top Pornstars & Sites Skype: robmurray999 Email: rob-at-paysitemanagers.com

08-25-2005, 05:42 PM	#15
1hoho Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 225	wow Jay...got some time on your hands.... that is 1 long post __________________ exclusive niched sites - VertigoVixens StockingHo AllExtremeAnal VulvaPalooza VertigoCash ICQ 197376798

08-25-2005, 05:44 PM	#16
Tanker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada Posts: 9,287	XXXJay I just spent half an hour reading your blog! Awesome spewing of verbal spunk. Good shit Tanker __________________ Tanker ICQ 3427575 CCBTools Now featured in the CCBill.com APP STORE

08-25-2005, 05:45 PM	#17
tristan_D Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 7,865	that's a very good one, jay. __________________ Increase your sales. Up to $4 per click.

08-25-2005, 05:45 PM	#18
TMM_John Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 6,660	LOL, I actually stumbled across your Blog a while ago and wound up reading it for a while. Afriad to go back now! __________________ Skype: JohnA1078 Too Much Media - Makers of the Industry's Leading Payite Management Platform, NATS!

08-25-2005, 05:45 PM	#19
SpacemanSpiff Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: 5th and main Posts: 230	Great blog man. And you're right, Raven Riley is fucking hot. __________________ Freepicssex.com - Submit Your Free Sites

08-25-2005, 05:50 PM	#20
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	Hahaha, you are such a genius Jay. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

08-25-2005, 05:51 PM	#21
Ycaza Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: the 805 Posts: 4,290	sober or not, I will tell you my philosophy: "anything worth doing is worth doing is worth doing till its life threating Goin Big sounds like that. __________________ Caz Thrush Head Honcho [email protected] http://thrushtech.com ICQ: 304883574 do people still icq?

08-25-2005, 05:57 PM	#22
sherie Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,020	Your writing always moves me to tears Jay...Gawd bless brother! __________________ AIM sherierocks ICQ 127-296-286 Skype traffichor

08-25-2005, 06:01 PM	#23
Linkster Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: DeltaHell Posts: 3,216	Jay - Im putting up a link to your blog tomorrow and will do a quickie review although you know my writing isnt even close to your spew I'll hit you up in the afternoon __________________ Porn Links Crak for your bank account - Get Addicted FREE LIVE CAM SHOWS

08-25-2005, 06:09 PM	#26
BT Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Ft liquordale FL Posts: 6,481	that is some good stuff. LMAO __________________ IS Prime Hosting Bald Head Shine "BT" The American Dream, baby! " THE HOST WITH THE MOST!" My ICQ 122994792

08-25-2005, 06:30 PM	#28
Ramos Custom User Title Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 11,927	very nice....lol.... __________________ blewit.com - Performance & Pleasure Training For Men.

08-25-2005, 06:38 PM	#31
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	thats me doing the interview in the pic pimp pimp

08-25-2005, 06:41 PM	#32
TinaBallina Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 922	Jay, I must say that was some serious fucking effort, wouldn't expect anything less from ya.........LMAO xoxo ps....you going to join up with me in AZ or what bitch? __________________ TinaBallina ICQ: 331521809 AIM: ballinaballina

08-25-2005, 07:30 PM	#33
mb Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Location: San Diego Posts: 1,550	I wish my attention span were longer because Jay's a great writer and there is probably some great stuff to read in his blog. marc

08-25-2005, 08:15 PM	#34
reed_4 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 9,640	Great Blog you got there man. __________________

08-25-2005, 08:23 PM	#35
swami Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: vanuatu Posts: 1,989	Trade links with mine if you are game Jay. http://www.newsinsider.org/stories/adult/

08-25-2005, 09:31 PM	#37
BlingDaddy Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Denver, CO ICQ 280-752-076 Posts: 6,343	This hurts my head. __________________ Every Day... Bling Daddy's Masturbation Station! Bling Daddy's Masturbation Station! The Daily Bag of Douche - Humor at it's FINEST.

08-25-2005, 09:33 PM	#38
Donny As you wish... Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 13,754	That Donovan Phillips guy has a nice blog that he puts a lot into also. Donny's Ramblings or something. Seems he links to yours and vice versa. Guess good blogs stick together!

08-25-2005, 10:21 PM	#40
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	Two thumbs up for that awesome stuff! __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

08-25-2005, 11:20 PM	#41
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	Nice blog Jay. And the pump pic isnt right...LOL

08-26-2005, 07:41 AM	#42
Trixie Racer Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: varies Posts: 2,328	Bookmarked! __________________ Make a Red Cross Donation!

08-26-2005, 09:07 AM	#43
Juilan Sultan of Swing Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: XXXodus Posts: 15,141	LMAO some fucking entertaining reading man. Wish more porn blogs were as well written and worth the time. __________________ My Best Converting VOD Sponsor \|

08-27-2005, 02:06 AM	#46
PussyTeenies Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Haarlem and Amsterdam, capital of the porn world ;-) Posts: 6,496	can you teach me how to make such a great blog? __________________ Need adult hosting? Contact us! WARM Hosting Need an IT solution? or someone to check your site and security? Nossie - IT Professional

08-27-2005, 02:10 AM	#47
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	awesome blog __________________

08-27-2005, 02:27 AM	#48
V_RocKs Damn Right I Kiss Ass! Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Cowtown, USA Posts: 32,409	Nice Blog

08-27-2005, 02:28 AM	#49
iBanker Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego, moving to Portland. Posts: 2,758	Jay, hit me up __________________ www.JasonandAlex.com Christopher's ICQ: 268-843-170