My father whipped all my playmates who used to bully me when I was a kid. He's the greatest father.

Always have time for her and listen to what she has to say. She may see you as a very good provider but doesn't have the time to sit down and talk.

You better figure it out..

Its not going to get easier. In nine more years when she is 16 its going to make this thread look like a joke.


You will look back on this thread and say 'damn I thought it was difficult then"

I'm not saying that I know the answer or anything.. I just know that after a certain time period it becomes more difficult if not impossible

Lots of hugs, always tell her you love her, maybe a dinner alone every couple of weeks, take her to events she likes (even if it's the ballet ;) ). My Dad always spent a lot of time with me and we were very close - still are. It seems most of the emotionally starved, screwed up females in this world had bad relationships (or no relationships) with their fathers. This is great you want to build a good relationship with her :)

Amen!!!! Very well said Peaches!!!! :thumbsup

I think the best thing about my father was that we always had an open relationship. He was always open and honest with me and I knew that I could always count on him to be there for me. It made life easyer as I got older I would hide shit from my mom but was always honest with my dad cause he was honest with me. We would o stuff together like fishing ,shopping, canoeing, what ever... I would pick what we did one weekend he would pick the next. I didn't always like the things he picked but I wouldnt of changed it I was happy to spend time with him. He never talked down to me he always treated me like I was equal to him.

Bella-Seaira

try to spend more time with her, it's all about it, make she laughs

if you and her started doing stuff together each sunday or something...i bet she'd be happy to watch you shovel shit...take her to some sports games...or go shopping or go on adventure walks. mayeb she is into something, you could suddenly find an interest in it as well.

im sure you dont really need advice...the fact that you are reaching out here for suggestions tells me you are thinking about this very hard....i think you will find your own solution and things will be peachy keen..not many fathers would have the presence to even worry about it

This is some of the BEST advice I have ever seen from a Dad. Seriously, I have 2 girls, ages 21 and 7 and they love the time their dad takes with them. Of couse we both work from home so my kids have always gotten a lot of our time. We gave up working outside the house MANY years ago so that we could raise our kids ourselves.

I have NO good memories of my dad at all, and I am not going into gory details, but I know my oldest daughter and I have talked alot, she bonded with her dad on a level that is rare, and it ALL had to do with taking the time. Girls are very strange little creatures, they don't necessarily want their dads to go shopping with them or anything like that, that's for their friends and mom, but they seem to just want to know their dad cares enough to take the time..... doesn't matter what they do, they just want to know they have their full attention.

NICE post, Roger, so many Dads could take lessons from you. :thumbsup

Wow Fitty... and I was not even trying...
wooohoooo


I did not have girls... but I am very proud of the two young men I raised.

I dont think it matters what you do.. what matter is that YOU DO.
Find out what she likes...
Odds are she will enjoy doing almost anything you enjoy doing... as long as she is doing it with you.


Good Parents Have Good Kids... thats all there is to it.. and I truly hope you heard this kids plea. The fact you are posting here tells me you did... Good Man!!

Try

Rollerskating
Bicycles
Going for Walks
Discgolf
Waterfun (Bring her to Parker, we will show you all a good time!)
Fishing
Gardening
Making Ice Cream
Jumping Rope (please.. take pics for us)
Playing Checkers
Fixing stuff around the house, garage etc..
Working on Cars
Off Roading
Decorate a room together
Shopping (heh.. shes a woman.. right?...)
Video Games
Pizza

Hell.. you can nearly make anything fun for kid.. it just takes a lil imagination.

Now.. take some of the great ideas in this thread, and get to know your kid in Lightspeed time !!

Big hug man !!

Big B
CECash.com

Shit. Now I miss my dad. :Oh crap

Sorry I can't help. I had two boys. If I had a girl, she would probably not be allowed to leave the house until she was at least thirty. And then only after years of martial arts and weapons training.

I remember the quality time with my dad on weekends going bowling, to the amusement park and believe it or not... some of my best memories was going to the horsetrack with my dad.

It was one on one time.

And keep in mind Steve, it's not necessarily what you do to entertain her, it's that you have one on one time together.

Here's a thought... how about participating in her school? Field trips? Going to the movies?

Or even if you have to run some errands like get the car washed or go to the bank, ask her if she wants to come along and spend those few minutes in the car chatting about her day or asking her about her life, etc. Include her in decisions... you think I should get this or that?

anyway, hope that helps. But you have a smart kid that she actually recognizes and can express her need to spend more time with you. :thumbsup

My Dad died when I was 17 and I am so grateful for the memories of the things he did with me. He didn't necessarily do something "special" every week but he taught me a lot of things.
He taught me to ride horses,ride motorcycles, drive a stickshift,fish, shoot guns, and love animals. He took me shopping and to the movies. He was a wonderful artist and he used to draw pictures for me. One of the neatest things he always did was give me cards, even if it was not a special occasion. My parents were married and I have an older brother and sister but these are all things he did one on one with me. He could be a real ass and a major jerk especially when he first got leukemia but was not yet diagnosed. He had awful headaches that turned him into a bear. But I really am grateful for the time he spent with me and I vividly remember that usually the simpler the time we spent was, the more it meant.

I have four daughters and have often wondered the same thing Steve. I just try to do my best and give them all the attention I possibly can.


JJJ
pornno.com

It's great that you are trying to pay atention to your daugther, specially cause she will remember it for the rest of her life and it will influence the way she'll live her life.

I'm very lucky of having a great dad, he is one of my best friends, i can't even remember what he got me for chritsmas or the things that he bought me....but i do remember all the time that we used to spend together...when he brushed my hair, a good nice kiss, took me to classes, long nice talks, everytime he told me how proud he was of me, when we played hide and seek, walked around the park, watched music videos and movies together, share time with me and my friends and i can go on and on.

The thing is no matter what you do with her, it will make her happy, be there and show her that you care, the best person to ask for an advice is your daugther.

Good luck! :)

You know, the thing I keep seeing over and over in the previous posts is "just spend time with her". While that is one of the most important things you can do for your relationship with her, there is one thing that I didn't see mentioned, and that is to always tell her that you are proud of her when she excels at something, or when she makes a "correct" difficult decision, or even when she doesn't quite succeed at something but you see how hard she tried. For whatever reason, girls really need approval from their dads, and I can say that having a dad who never gives compliments or approval really affected the way I saw myself as a teenager, and both of my sisters share my feelings about that. Our father believes that "no matter how good you do, you can always do better", and that by pushing us to do better, we would become better people. But never once did any of us hear any words uttered from his mouth that resembled "I'm proud of you" or "you did a good job today". If we brought home Bs on our report card, it should have been As. If we got 2nd place in the relay race, it should have been first.

I know it sounds silly and juvenile, but I'm almost 30 years old and I still wait for the day that my dad says to me "I'm proud of you."

if you don't live with your kids, making time to call every couple days, ask interested questions about their lives, and let them tell you stuff is also important. not all parents can live with their children, but besides a visit once a week, you can still be a part of their lives!

This is it in a nutshell... time spent with her one on one is what's important, showing her how much you value her, letting her know not just how pretty she is but how smart she is as well. It will help her to learn to value herself and not accept being put in any situation where she is not comfortable or confident in her ability to handle things or herself. You want her to have the inner fortitude to not be used or abused in any future relationships. Other than that ask JFK what he's done as a Dad cause his three girls think he's pretty cool :thumbsup

There is some really good advice in this thread Steve. I have a 13 year old and I totally know what you are going through. My daughter now lives 2 states away from me so I don't see her quite as often as I'd like to but when I do see her I try to spend as much time with her as I can

When she was about your daughters age is when I first found the internet and I was a messageboard junkie always online all hours of the day. My daughter got upset with me when every other weekend came around and I'd run off a few times a hour to post at boards (before I got into this industry)

So the one thing I'd tell you to do is just try to find things that she likes to do that you could do with her.. You have a great pool at your place so why not make it a everyday thing to swim with her for 40 min or what not. Do like others said movie nights where you let her pick what she wants to watch and leave your laptop or PC off the whole time.

and one key thing is be there one of these key times of the day.. Be the one that gets her up in the morning and has breakfast with her or be the one that puts her to bed every night and reads a storry if she likes storries before bed. Being there for one of those times will mean the world to her

you just have to spend more time with here! Kids in that age are way smarter then we think

so when she turns 18 does she get her own site ? lol Im sorry I couldnt resist, love her and be there for her. You can relate to her she is your blood.

Very good post! :thumbsup

I wish my father would of been proud of the things I done, to encourage me in the things I enjoyed. "I did motocross for 10 years and my father said bikes are not made for jumping, he hopes I kill myself from jumping", I wish he would of taught me things, like driving.. you know manly stuff. he never wanted to give me a chance. going hunting and fishing with my dad is the only time we had together when we could talk about stuff.

so I think having a verbal relation with kids is VERY IMPORTANTl

Get some quality time with her...if you don't have it, make it.

I have 4 kids and that can be a lot of attention to balance out, so have gotten creative...
some fo the things we do:
every single night (bad weather not withstanding) we all walk down to the park and spend some time there. Usually it's only about 20-30 minutes at the park (and about a half mile each way walk). It allows us time to talk, walk together (get exercise) and just get out of the house.
every Thursday night is family night. We turn off the computers, TV's, video games, don't answer the phones, etc. and spend a couple hours together. We might watch a family movie together (the kid love picking out movies on netflix and we rotate who's turn it is to pick the movie, though we generally find movies we all want to watch), or go bowling, mini-golfing, a movie, etc. We recently took a family tour of Ethel M Chocolate factory and have even went to museums and the planetarium.

Every other weekend, we try to do a boys day out and/or a girls day out where my sons or daughters get special time with dad. It's generally lunch and to the store for a special surprise or just window shopping at the mall.

We've also started all eating breakfast together, which is something we hadn't really been doing.

Since my nephews and niece started living with me, they've been included in these activities as well and have improved their behavior. My sister, who recently moved in with me as well, has also been working hard at spending quality time with her and my kids when she's off work.

I think it's improved all of our lives.

There are some really great posts here. As a new father of twin girls who are 10 weeks old I often wonder the same thing. What will things be like when they are both 5, 6 and 7 years old...I will be bookmarking this thread for future reading. :)

I never had a dad around growing up, so I have none.. but I would imagine the pony thing would be great, IF it was something you did with her.. Find something you both enjoy and devote an hour or so a week to it. Keep with it and I guarantee you will both look forward to it, and you will both remember it forever.

Also remember there will probably come a time when she absolutely cannot stand you (or your wife). It will pass. Just keep telling her you love her :)

maybe be sure to tell her everyday that you love her