What If God Was One Of Us?

would he be a post whore?

What if god
smoked cannabis? Hit the bong like some of us Drove a tie-dyed microbus

Well according to bruce almighty god is black so that reduces the amount of people to choose from

you called?

He would have Jenna Jameson on his lap having her say her hail marys nude!

We have it set on our minds that whatever God we might pray to has all of these morals and values. Yet at the same time one must wonder - Accoding the bible it's not an issue if we stone to death our brother for planting seeds of the same crop next to each other, or selling our daughters into slavey.

Makes you wonder doesn't it?

The ones that have access to the "Ban" button.

He would smite us because of our stupidity.

I have been smited quite often.
I been thrown on the cross here.
I been impalled.
I have had everything thrown at me in great laughter.
Yet I am a worshipper.

Passion Of The Alien.


Anyways...

Ya get over it after a while.

it would be the guy who created vbull...

If God were one of us:

-Amp would tell him his credit score pales compared to his, and let God know that he lives in a "2M mansion on Maui". He would then go crazy, get some new "ink" on his body, and tell god that he's "SO glad he left the praying industry" because it's "SO dead" meanwhile secretly praying every night...

-AlienQ would accuse him of shaving, particularly when it comes to the entire country of India, who seem to have got a disproportionately bad break. He would then say "fine, you can deny it, and everyone can put their head in the sand, but god is definitely shaving and India is getting fucked because of it. All of you can fuck off, I'm out."

-p1mpdogg would try to find old websites that god had created on a lark years ago to try and embarass him to the rest of us...maybe "closet-satan-lovers.com" or some shit.

-Sleazy would eat him.

-DrinkingModeratelyHardNotAtAllWhatever would try to sell him some spots on a TGP that gets fewer hits than dolphinsex.org, then inform god that there's a whole new way to reach people: p2p praying. Think of the branding god! he'd say...

-RogerV would immediately revolutionize the way god organizes entry to heaven, leading to a 20% increase in the amount of souls allowed in. He would also try to get god to change his name, possibly to "ATMGod" to turn every ATM machine into a mini-church, increasing the amount of people who pray tenfold...He would then try to have a threesome with God, as long as God was a girl, with his girlfriend, only to later tell her "baby god meant nothing to me, she was a cum sponge, you're #1..."

-boneprone would claim to have fucked god already, despite Roger's advances.

-DonovanPhillips would lecture god infinitely on the most trivial bullshit you have ever heard, getting very passionate about it as he goes on and on and on, meanwhile god would nod off. Donovan would also thank god for making sex so great, particularly with his wife, and God would respond "Even I can't believe you're not still a virgin. But you do take damn good pictures."

-VanillaDeville would ask God if her ass really was the most perfect on planet Earth, as god would actually know this and be able to answer. And he would answer yes. Meanwhile Stewie would be informed that in a former life he was Mother Teresa's Grandfather, hence his reward in this life...fucker.

-Juicy would slide up next to God, putting his head in his lap, asking Ramos to take a picture of it, quickly brand it with the NYGigolos .psd layer, then post it to GFY with the message "God is gay, and each of us is therefore gay. He was so tripping ballllllllls with my head in his lap."

-Tassy and Halcyon would each be rewarded with their pink wings upon seeing God, along with pink hair dye that lasts 3x as long and has a flourescent glow to it.

-Franck would immediately bitch to god that he did a sloppy job on Earth, that no one prays, that he's useless and then call him a noob. Franck would then perform a multi-threaded attack on god, in each one listing stats about crime rates rising and poverty increasing, thus proving himself to be correct.

and finally

-FunkyBastard/Kak_Azn/WestHollywoodGayProstitute would tell god he's really enjoying his Ferrari and that his business development plan has reached 100% funding and is ready to launch and that he goes through millions like its nothing. God would reply, "You really are a stupid fuck, you do understand that I'm Omniscient right?" to which kak_azn would reply "stfu surfer, who are you anyway, I'll have you banned"





Ok that's all, I thought this would take 5 minutes and it took 20, enough. Sorry if I missed you, it wasn't done in any order of importance. This bitch took longer than the Tom Cruise Ambush Interview, jesus...

I guess we'd never know.

have u heard that song by prince?

"what if god was one of us?"

awesome song. did he write it? or was it a cover?

Does he/she has something to say for the post whores? We shouldn't be forgotten here.

Who did that song with the line "What if god were one of us?"? A few years back.

That was fucking funny..

glad you're still alive.

i'd buy him a beer and get him wasted. you know those random parties where everyone gets so wasted everyone starts talking about metaphysics and the origin on the universe? well maybe I'd be able to get some legit answers.

then I'd ask him if he'd ever been to a little place called GFY

To hard a question to answer and way too many variables!

lmao this thread is worth a bump

LMAO...

thats why I am an Atheist

I think it was Joan Osborne that wrote it. I know it was covered by a lot of singers. Alanis Morissette etc. I think Jewel did it as well.

holy shit man, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time...


thanks, you rock, that was some funny ass shiznIT!!!!

If GOD was one of us... he would probably be the biggest scammer and/or cheater in the biz... cause he could... cause he's GOD!

Anyone could be God one way or another..