Crazy Old Farts !! - GoFuckYourself.com

-=HUNGRYMAN=- · 02-12-2002, 01:55 PM

Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after
dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit
and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Annabel,
age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they
know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their
conversation, Howard turns to Annabel and asks,

"Do you know what I miss most of all?

She asks, "What?"

"SEX!!!"

Annabel exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I
held a gun to your head!"

I know," Howard says, "but it would be nice if a woman just held it
for a while."

"Well, I can oblige", says Annabel, who gently unzips his trousers,
removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden
where they would sit and talk and Annabel would hold Howard's
manhood.

Then, one night, Howard didn't show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Annabel decided to find Howard and make sure that he was
O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him
sitting by the pool with another female resident who was holding
Howard's manhood!

Furious, Annabel yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does she have
that I don't have?!"

Howard smiled happily and replied, "She's got Parkinson's."

YOU GOT A GOOD ONE ... SHARE IT WITH US !!

don · 02-12-2002, 02:04 PM

MORE OLD SEX

Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 76 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "take me, young man, Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the son of a bitch.

don · 02-12-2002, 02:06 PM

Just for you Hungryman ;)

Olympic Condoms

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"

"There are three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."

"What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course", says the man proudly.

The wife responds, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"

-=HUNGRYMAN=- · 02-12-2002, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by don
Just for you Hungryman ;)

Olympic Condoms

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"

"There are three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."

"What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course", says the man proudly.

The wife responds, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"

02-12-2002, 01:55 PM	#1
-=HUNGRYMAN=- Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Between your mamma's legs Posts: 4,753	Crazy Old Farts !! Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Annabel, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Howard turns to Annabel and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all? She asks, "What?" "SEX!!!" Annabel exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!" I know," Howard says, "but it would be nice if a woman just held it for a while." "Well, I can oblige", says Annabel, who gently unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Annabel would hold Howard's manhood. Then, one night, Howard didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Annabel decided to find Howard and make sure that he was O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident who was holding Howard's manhood! Furious, Annabel yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does she have that I don't have?!" Howard smiled happily and replied, "She's got Parkinson's." YOU GOT A GOOD ONE ... SHARE IT WITH US !! __________________

02-12-2002, 02:04 PM	#2
don Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 108	MORE OLD SEX Defense Attorney: What is your age? Little Old Woman: I am 76 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you? Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago. Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years! Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "take me, young man, Take me!" Defense Attorney: Did he take you? Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the son of a bitch.

02-12-2002, 02:06 PM	#3
don Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 108	Just for you Hungryman ;) Olympic Condoms A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?" "There are three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze." "What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily. "Gold of course", says the man proudly. The wife responds, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"