Foster Care!! - GoFuckYourself.com

Fire · 03-01-2002, 08:15 PM

Taliban & Al Quieda Foster Care Program!

Dear Liberal US Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter criticizing the treatment of the Taliban and Al Quieda detainees being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and we sincerely appreciate that you've already copied Senator Hillary Clinton on it.

As part of the Administration's Liberal Empathy Training Program, you'll be pleased to learn that the Administration has decided to place one detainee under your exclusive care. Your detainee is scheduled to be delivered to your personal residence on Monday.

The detainee is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you strongly recommended in your letter of admonishment. It will be necessary that you hire your own caretakers, of course. We will also conduct weekly inspections to assure that your detainee is actually being cared for in the manner you personally prescribed.

His meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest using menus that do not require utensils. Your particular detainee has been known to remove a Christian "infidel's" vocal chords and esophagus through an incision made in the neck with a table fork. While he does bite, the rabies test was negative; he does, however, have a bad case of body lice that we haven't completely remedied.

Although he is sociopathic and occasionally psychotic, we do welcome your efforts to overcome his "attitudinal problems" with the counseling and home schooling you have recommended.

You should be aware that your detainee is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and expert in extinguishing a human life with simple items such as a pencil or an electrical cord, so we suggest that you not introduce him during your next bridge party. He also has the ability to make a variety of lethal explosives from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up.

Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee's cage: "Does not play well with others".

Your detainee generally bathes quarterly, with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and washes his clothes simultaneously. That should help with your water bill.

Be assured your detainee absolutely loves pets of all kinds, but is especially fond of cats and dogs. He prefers them roasted.

You take good care of our detainee now, y'hear.

Sincerely,
Your President
George W. Bush

theWatsonian · 03-01-2002, 08:23 PM

SykkBoy · 03-01-2002, 11:29 PM

hell, all that descibes my uncle Phil.....

03-01-2002, 08:15 PM	#1
Fire Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 486	Foster Care!! Taliban & Al Quieda Foster Care Program! Dear Liberal US Citizen: Thank you for your recent letter criticizing the treatment of the Taliban and Al Quieda detainees being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and we sincerely appreciate that you've already copied Senator Hillary Clinton on it. As part of the Administration's Liberal Empathy Training Program, you'll be pleased to learn that the Administration has decided to place one detainee under your exclusive care. Your detainee is scheduled to be delivered to your personal residence on Monday. The detainee is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you strongly recommended in your letter of admonishment. It will be necessary that you hire your own caretakers, of course. We will also conduct weekly inspections to assure that your detainee is actually being cared for in the manner you personally prescribed. His meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest using menus that do not require utensils. Your particular detainee has been known to remove a Christian "infidel's" vocal chords and esophagus through an incision made in the neck with a table fork. While he does bite, the rabies test was negative; he does, however, have a bad case of body lice that we haven't completely remedied. Although he is sociopathic and occasionally psychotic, we do welcome your efforts to overcome his "attitudinal problems" with the counseling and home schooling you have recommended. You should be aware that your detainee is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and expert in extinguishing a human life with simple items such as a pencil or an electrical cord, so we suggest that you not introduce him during your next bridge party. He also has the ability to make a variety of lethal explosives from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee's cage: "Does not play well with others". Your detainee generally bathes quarterly, with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and washes his clothes simultaneously. That should help with your water bill. Be assured your detainee absolutely loves pets of all kinds, but is especially fond of cats and dogs. He prefers them roasted. You take good care of our detainee now, y'hear. Sincerely, Your President George W. Bush

03-01-2002, 08:23 PM	#2
theWatsonian Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: PB4L HQ Posts: 1,737	LOL

03-01-2002, 11:29 PM	#3
SykkBoy Jesus loves bacon Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sin City, Motherfucker Posts: 19,969	hell, all that descibes my uncle Phil..... __________________ Support my new movie “The Second Coming”