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08-16-2005, 07:38 AM
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#1 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Between the the first and last Hurricane...
Posts: 263
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Things that make you go hmmmm....
Why do we press harder on a remote control when
we know the batteries are getting weak? `````````````````` Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? `````````````````` Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say! the paint is wet? ``````````````````` Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? ```````````````````` Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? `````````````````````` Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? ``````````````````````` Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? ````````````````````````` Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? ````````````````````````` Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? ``````````````````````````` If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? ```````````````````````````` Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? ````````````````````````````` Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? ```````````````````````````` Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? ```````````````````````````` Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? ```````````````````````` Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? ````````````````````````` How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? ``````````````````````````` When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" ````````````````````````` Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? `````````````````````````` In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? ``````````````````````````` How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? ````````````````````````````` If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? ```````````````````````````` And finally,............ The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. 
__________________
We don't live in a world of reality, we live in a world of perceptions. |
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08-16-2005, 07:39 AM
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#2 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 8,120
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What ever happened to Arsenio? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
__________________
https://www.flow.page/savethechildren |
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08-16-2005, 07:42 AM
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#3 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,047
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Those were great! Thanks for the morning laugh.
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08-16-2005, 07:43 AM
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#4 |
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Workin With The Devil
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 51,532
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Those are good ones
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08-16-2005, 07:54 AM
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#5 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: can I get there from here
Posts: 1,131
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LOL! ..some really funny ones there
__________________
Jay <at> DateProfits.com | Skype: onemarketpro
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08-16-2005, 07:55 AM
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#6 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: South Florida
Posts: 5,086
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great read... thanks
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08-16-2005, 08:08 AM
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#7 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,840
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........
nice share, thanks man!  |
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08-16-2005, 08:13 AM
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#8 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: next to the retards
Posts: 1,569
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good thread. i liked the one about sanity and friends,lol.
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08-16-2005, 08:31 AM
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#9 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Brisbane/Vancouver/SanFran
Posts: 3,581
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haha awesome
forwarded to the mail list 
__________________
ICQ: 72251955 GTalk: JuiceMonkey
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08-16-2005, 08:37 AM
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#10 |
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Fucked if I know
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Do you have a flag?
Posts: 23,368
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Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Funny shit! Thank you for the laugh!
__________________
 ICQ: 11120676 | Google: mindcrime | Skype: suitemindcrime|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you. |
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08-16-2005, 08:52 AM
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#11 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2005
Location: behind you
Posts: 7,402
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lol....thanks for the laugh
__________________
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