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Old 07-18-2005, 05:16 PM   #1
GTS Mark
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:tongue Gay Or Straight Quiz... What Are You?

TAKE THE TEST...THEN COME OUT OF THE CLOSET!

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how
you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigsfeet, or breasts. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had Nutrasweet in your mouth, you've had a dick there too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it--you're hungry for a meat popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with the bitch in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vousle Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly.
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Old 07-18-2005, 05:18 PM   #2
Corleone
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wanted to get a cat
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Old 07-18-2005, 05:42 PM   #3
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good stuff
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Old 07-18-2005, 05:44 PM   #4
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too funny man
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Old 07-18-2005, 06:37 PM   #5
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OMG, why this late. I should have known it earlier!!!
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Old 07-18-2005, 06:46 PM   #6
Pipecrew
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I've shit in the dirtiest strip clubs on earth, some without doors! haha.
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Old 07-18-2005, 06:57 PM   #7
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Disagree on #2..I have a cat and I'm no homo
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Old 07-18-2005, 07:31 PM   #8
tristan_D
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interesting post you got there, can't really say if those hold true.
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Old 07-18-2005, 08:58 PM   #9
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wahahaha... those makes sense...
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Old 07-18-2005, 10:57 PM   #10
PixeLs
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4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

Seems valid for me..
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Old 07-18-2005, 11:09 PM   #11
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LMAO.... Did you write that?
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Old 07-18-2005, 11:23 PM   #12
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This is too funny.But i don't need a test.I'm sure i'm not a gay!I love women, too much
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Old 07-18-2005, 11:25 PM   #13
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just cause i like to poop wheres I pleases doesn't mean I'm straight
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Old 07-18-2005, 11:30 PM   #14
reynold
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man that was a good post. we can now see who the hell are gays here. :p
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Old 07-19-2005, 12:56 AM   #15
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haha! i love that! funny stuff! i knew it, i'm never gay!
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Old 07-19-2005, 01:23 AM   #16
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im a flaming homo in a womans body..

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Old 07-19-2005, 01:26 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrinkingLight
6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.
I'm apparently a flaming homo.
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Old 07-19-2005, 03:04 AM   #18
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im guilty of 6 and 8. Im pretty sure most of america know more than 4 different names of desert, i reckon at least half of them probably eat more than 4 a day
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Old 07-19-2005, 05:23 AM   #19
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i am glad am not gay. :D
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Old 07-19-2005, 05:56 AM   #20
mardigras
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reed_4
i am glad am not gay. :D
Why, are you ugly?
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