Tom Cruise... shocking story with a Gerbil - GoFuckYourself.com

zzgundamnzz · 07-11-2005, 01:45 AM

Sexual Experimentation With Gerbil Lands Man In Hospital And Hot Water!
July 11, 2005

Tom Cruise was admitted to a local hospital yesterday and remains in critical, but stable condition following a freak sexual experiment gone wrong.

Paramedics responded to an urgent 911 call from the victim at approximately 8:30 PM when he experienced extreme abdominal pain and severe bleeding after inserting a gerbil in his rectum.

It appears that Tom Cruise inserted a gerbil in his rectum seeking sexual pleasure, however, the sexual experiment went terribly wrong when the gerbil apparently panicked and tore a hole in his colon and lower intestinal tract attempting to dig his way out. As a result, the patient experienced extreme pain and internal bleeding. Because of the risk of a bacterial infection due to the exposure of feces in the blood stream, doctors will continue close monitoring for the next 72 hours.

Dr. Suzy Stovonovich who is overseeing this situation was quoted as saying "This is a very unusual situation that we have never seen before. Not only is it unsafe to seek sexual pleasure from animals, it's also very cruel to the animal. I would urge anyone reading this story to fulfill your homosexual desires through experimentation with inanimate sex toys or through conventional 'protected' sex with another partner".

After a full recovery, psychological tests will be performed.

http://tom%20cruise.swellserver.com/...ies/gerbil.php

je_rome · 07-11-2005, 02:08 AM

haha.. looks like tom cruise has gone over bored.

Mefo · 07-11-2005, 02:13 AM

this swellserver stuff is getting old

JFK · 07-11-2005, 02:44 AM

shitty news for the gerbil

reed_4 · 07-11-2005, 02:55 AM

that was damn to crazy man.

Paul Waters · 07-11-2005, 03:19 AM

Gee, that happened to Richard Gere 15 years ago.

DirtyDanza · 07-11-2005, 03:24 AM

so was brad shaw

http://brad%20shaw.swellserver.com/n...ies/gerbil.php

WarChild · 07-11-2005, 03:32 AM

Boneprone hit it.

Barefootsies · 07-11-2005, 05:43 AM

Quote:

After a full recovery, psychological tests will be performed.

Ya think?

Project-Shadow · 07-11-2005, 05:52 AM

I wonder how many gfy'ers actually believed that story =/

zzgundamnzz · 07-11-2005, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Project-Shadow

I wonder how many gfy'ers actually believed that story =/

Too many... way too many

zzgundamnzz · 07-11-2005, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul Waters

Gee, that happened to Richard Gere 15 years ago.

Yeah I know... sad thing for him was I think it was true.

baddog · 07-11-2005, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zzgundamnzz

Too many... way too many

It is scary

07-11-2005, 01:45 AM	#1
zzgundamnzz Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 6,102	Tom Cruise... shocking story with a Gerbil Sexual Experimentation With Gerbil Lands Man In Hospital And Hot Water! July 11, 2005 Tom Cruise was admitted to a local hospital yesterday and remains in critical, but stable condition following a freak sexual experiment gone wrong. Paramedics responded to an urgent 911 call from the victim at approximately 8:30 PM when he experienced extreme abdominal pain and severe bleeding after inserting a gerbil in his rectum. It appears that Tom Cruise inserted a gerbil in his rectum seeking sexual pleasure, however, the sexual experiment went terribly wrong when the gerbil apparently panicked and tore a hole in his colon and lower intestinal tract attempting to dig his way out. As a result, the patient experienced extreme pain and internal bleeding. Because of the risk of a bacterial infection due to the exposure of feces in the blood stream, doctors will continue close monitoring for the next 72 hours. Dr. Suzy Stovonovich who is overseeing this situation was quoted as saying "This is a very unusual situation that we have never seen before. Not only is it unsafe to seek sexual pleasure from animals, it's also very cruel to the animal. I would urge anyone reading this story to fulfill your homosexual desires through experimentation with inanimate sex toys or through conventional 'protected' sex with another partner". After a full recovery, psychological tests will be performed. http://tom%20cruise.swellserver.com/...ies/gerbil.php __________________

07-11-2005, 02:08 AM	#2
je_rome Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,846	haha.. looks like tom cruise has gone over bored. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Join KlikRevenue.com Today!

07-11-2005, 02:13 AM	#3
Mefo Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Amsterdam Posts: 6,169	this swellserver stuff is getting old __________________

07-11-2005, 02:44 AM	#4
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	shitty news for the gerbil __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

07-11-2005, 02:55 AM	#5
reed_4 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 9,640	that was damn to crazy man. __________________

07-11-2005, 03:19 AM	#6
Paul Waters Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Toronto, Ontario Posts: 4,402	Gee, that happened to Richard Gere 15 years ago. __________________ Paul

07-11-2005, 03:24 AM	#7
DirtyDanza Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: BP4L.... Las Vegas, Posts: 8,370	so was brad shaw http://brad%20shaw.swellserver.com/n...ies/gerbil.php __________________ AVN Nominated Camming Couple

07-11-2005, 03:32 AM	#8
WarChild Let slip the dogs of war. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Bermuda Posts: 17,263	Boneprone hit it. __________________ .

07-11-2005, 05:52 AM	#10
Project-Shadow Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 7,340	I wonder how many gfy'ers actually believed that story =/