Dear Abby - GoFuckYourself.com

HarrytheNazi · 06-21-2005, 07:31 AM

Dear Abby,
I've caught my son looking at Internet porn repeatedly over the past few months, even though I've taken numerous steps to stop him. His father, who has his own stash of magazines tucked away, isn't overly concerned. What can I do to win this losing battle?

Libertine · 06-21-2005, 07:36 AM

The truth is that teenage boys have always found ways to get to porn, from scamming a copy of Playboy off a buddy's older brother to sneaking a XXX video into the VCR when Mom and Dad are out. Porn has always been available ? it's just never been so easily accessible. The Internet packs a pornographic double whammy in that it removes the inefficiency of delivery (such as embarrassing trips to the magazine store) and also provides anonymity.

These days there's no need to even leave the house to be immersed in a universe of porn, and not getting caught is as easy as a click of the mouse. As one teenage boy confided to me, "My mom suspected I was downloading porn off the Net, so she put a blocker on my laptop and limited my computer time to doing homework in the kitchen while she was making dinner. But the blocker was easy to get around. Sure, it filtered some of the photos and videos, but not the chat rooms, blogs or P2P [peer-to-peer] sites ? so I ended up watching porn while she cooked."

Former Attorney General John Ashcroft estimates that nine out of 10 teens have been exposed to pornography, while a study of sex addiction by MSNBC.com and The San Jose Marital and Sexuality Center (in which more than 9,000 Internet users were surveyed) revealed that:
# 80% of those surveyed use their home computers for sexual purposes.
# The average age of first exposure to Internet pornography is 11 years old.
# The largest consumers of Internet pornography are 12- to 17-year-olds.
# 90% of eight- to 16-year-olds with Internet access have viewed porn online (mostly while doing homework).

While many adults are able to view porn without harm ? although some do run the risk of becoming addicted ? there's a growing consensus among psychologists that teenage boys are most vulnerable. According to Gary Brooks, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Baylor University and author of "The Centerfold Syndrome," "Psychologists know that when adult males have a steady diet of pornography, they begin to display an obsession with visual stimulation that makes it difficult for them to have healthy relationships. It also prompts fetishes over body parts, the rating of women by size and shape, and a fear of intimacy. There's an inability to get beyond the centerfold."

In my own clinical experience, I've observed that exposure to Internet porn does indeed give teenage boys a distorted view of female sexuality, but I've also found that boys aren't the only teenagers viewing Internet porn. In fact, Net Trends (a firm that measures online usage) reported that 47% of computer users who visit explicit Web sites are 12- to 18-year-old females. Just like the boys, young women are internalizing these images and taking them as cues to what it means to be sexual.

So here's what I want you to do:
# Pick up a copy of Patrick Carnes' "In the Shadow of the Net." It's a great book on the subject of Internet porn addiction and will help you to understand the syndrome and recognize the signs.
# Talk to other parents about your fears. You're really not alone, and they'll respect you for breaking the ice on this thorny subject. If you're a bit uneasy "outing" your son's behavior, then just say that you're worried about the proliferation of Internet porn in general and you're wondering if they share your concerns. Trust me, they do.
# Take the lead. Form a group with other parents and write a letter to the school principal asking him or her to provide a plan for confronting the issue. Maybe there's a school psychologist who can help.
# Get your husband involved. Remember, this isn't about his own penchant for porn; it's about your joint concern for your son's future and the formation of his character.
# Expose him to more positive influences. Introduce your son to the works of outstanding, self-respecting feminist thinkers such as "The Beauty Myth," by Naomi Wolf, in which she demonstrates that the images found on television and in advertisements, women's magazines and pornography are detrimental to women as well as to the men who love them. Like I said at the outset, porn has always been out there and it always will be. In the end, you can't stop your son from looking, but you can impact how he sees.

Tala · 06-21-2005, 07:36 AM

Send the boy to parochial school and let the priests have at him. He'll wish he'd never heard of pornography.

Fizzgig · 06-21-2005, 07:45 AM

I think Punkworld has a lot of free time! :D

iwantchixx · 06-21-2005, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punkworld

The truth is that teenage boys have always found ways to get to porn, from scamming a copy of Playboy off a buddy's older brother to sneaking a XXX video into the VCR when Mom and Dad are out. Porn has always been available ? it's just never been so easily accessible. The Internet packs a pornographic double whammy in that it removes the inefficiency of delivery (such as embarrassing trips to the magazine store) and also provides anonymity.

These days there's no need to even leave the house to be immersed in a universe of porn, and not getting caught is as easy as a click of the mouse. As one teenage boy confided to me, "My mom suspected I was downloading porn off the Net, so she put a blocker on my laptop and limited my computer time to doing homework in the kitchen while she was making dinner. But the blocker was easy to get around. Sure, it filtered some of the photos and videos, but not the chat rooms, blogs or P2P [peer-to-peer] sites ? so I ended up watching porn while she cooked."

Former Attorney General John Ashcroft estimates that nine out of 10 teens have been exposed to pornography, while a study of sex addiction by MSNBC.com and The San Jose Marital and Sexuality Center (in which more than 9,000 Internet users were surveyed) revealed that:
# 80% of those surveyed use their home computers for sexual purposes.
# The average age of first exposure to Internet pornography is 11 years old.
# The largest consumers of Internet pornography are 12- to 17-year-olds.
# 90% of eight- to 16-year-olds with Internet access have viewed porn online (mostly while doing homework).

While many adults are able to view porn without harm ? although some do run the risk of becoming addicted ? there's a growing consensus among psychologists that teenage boys are most vulnerable. According to Gary Brooks, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Baylor University and author of "The Centerfold Syndrome," "Psychologists know that when adult males have a steady diet of pornography, they begin to display an obsession with visual stimulation that makes it difficult for them to have healthy relationships. It also prompts fetishes over body parts, the rating of women by size and shape, and a fear of intimacy. There's an inability to get beyond the centerfold."

In my own clinical experience, I've observed that exposure to Internet porn does indeed give teenage boys a distorted view of female sexuality, but I've also found that boys aren't the only teenagers viewing Internet porn. In fact, Net Trends (a firm that measures online usage) reported that 47% of computer users who visit explicit Web sites are 12- to 18-year-old females. Just like the boys, young women are internalizing these images and taking them as cues to what it means to be sexual.

So here's what I want you to do:
# Pick up a copy of Patrick Carnes' "In the Shadow of the Net." It's a great book on the subject of Internet porn addiction and will help you to understand the syndrome and recognize the signs.
# Talk to other parents about your fears. You're really not alone, and they'll respect you for breaking the ice on this thorny subject. If you're a bit uneasy "outing" your son's behavior, then just say that you're worried about the proliferation of Internet porn in general and you're wondering if they share your concerns. Trust me, they do.
# Take the lead. Form a group with other parents and write a letter to the school principal asking him or her to provide a plan for confronting the issue. Maybe there's a school psychologist who can help.
# Get your husband involved. Remember, this isn't about his own penchant for porn; it's about your joint concern for your son's future and the formation of his character.
# Expose him to more positive influences. Introduce your son to the works of outstanding, self-respecting feminist thinkers such as "The Beauty Myth," by Naomi Wolf, in which she demonstrates that the images found on television and in advertisements, women's magazines and pornography are detrimental to women as well as to the men who love them. Like I said at the outset, porn has always been out there and it always will be. In the end, you can't stop your son from looking, but you can impact how he sees.

This article is right on the money and is a POSITIVE THING!

It shows that it's up to the parents to parent their children.

wjxxx · 06-21-2005, 07:53 AM

Send him to the military school

06-21-2005, 07:31 AM	#1
HarrytheNazi Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,164	Dear Abby Dear Abby, I've caught my son looking at Internet porn repeatedly over the past few months, even though I've taken numerous steps to stop him. His father, who has his own stash of magazines tucked away, isn't overly concerned. What can I do to win this losing battle?

06-21-2005, 07:36 AM	#2
Libertine sex dwarf Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 17,860	The truth is that teenage boys have always found ways to get to porn, from scamming a copy of Playboy off a buddy's older brother to sneaking a XXX video into the VCR when Mom and Dad are out. Porn has always been available ? it's just never been so easily accessible. The Internet packs a pornographic double whammy in that it removes the inefficiency of delivery (such as embarrassing trips to the magazine store) and also provides anonymity. These days there's no need to even leave the house to be immersed in a universe of porn, and not getting caught is as easy as a click of the mouse. As one teenage boy confided to me, "My mom suspected I was downloading porn off the Net, so she put a blocker on my laptop and limited my computer time to doing homework in the kitchen while she was making dinner. But the blocker was easy to get around. Sure, it filtered some of the photos and videos, but not the chat rooms, blogs or P2P [peer-to-peer] sites ? so I ended up watching porn while she cooked." Former Attorney General John Ashcroft estimates that nine out of 10 teens have been exposed to pornography, while a study of sex addiction by MSNBC.com and The San Jose Marital and Sexuality Center (in which more than 9,000 Internet users were surveyed) revealed that: # 80% of those surveyed use their home computers for sexual purposes. # The average age of first exposure to Internet pornography is 11 years old. # The largest consumers of Internet pornography are 12- to 17-year-olds. # 90% of eight- to 16-year-olds with Internet access have viewed porn online (mostly while doing homework). While many adults are able to view porn without harm ? although some do run the risk of becoming addicted ? there's a growing consensus among psychologists that teenage boys are most vulnerable. According to Gary Brooks, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Baylor University and author of "The Centerfold Syndrome," "Psychologists know that when adult males have a steady diet of pornography, they begin to display an obsession with visual stimulation that makes it difficult for them to have healthy relationships. It also prompts fetishes over body parts, the rating of women by size and shape, and a fear of intimacy. There's an inability to get beyond the centerfold." In my own clinical experience, I've observed that exposure to Internet porn does indeed give teenage boys a distorted view of female sexuality, but I've also found that boys aren't the only teenagers viewing Internet porn. In fact, Net Trends (a firm that measures online usage) reported that 47% of computer users who visit explicit Web sites are 12- to 18-year-old females. Just like the boys, young women are internalizing these images and taking them as cues to what it means to be sexual. So here's what I want you to do: # Pick up a copy of Patrick Carnes' "In the Shadow of the Net." It's a great book on the subject of Internet porn addiction and will help you to understand the syndrome and recognize the signs. # Talk to other parents about your fears. You're really not alone, and they'll respect you for breaking the ice on this thorny subject. If you're a bit uneasy "outing" your son's behavior, then just say that you're worried about the proliferation of Internet porn in general and you're wondering if they share your concerns. Trust me, they do. # Take the lead. Form a group with other parents and write a letter to the school principal asking him or her to provide a plan for confronting the issue. Maybe there's a school psychologist who can help. # Get your husband involved. Remember, this isn't about his own penchant for porn; it's about your joint concern for your son's future and the formation of his character. # Expose him to more positive influences. Introduce your son to the works of outstanding, self-respecting feminist thinkers such as "The Beauty Myth," by Naomi Wolf, in which she demonstrates that the images found on television and in advertisements, women's magazines and pornography are detrimental to women as well as to the men who love them. Like I said at the outset, porn has always been out there and it always will be. In the end, you can't stop your son from looking, but you can impact how he sees. __________________ /(bb\|[^b]{2})/

06-21-2005, 07:36 AM	#3
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Send the boy to parochial school and let the priests have at him. He'll wish he'd never heard of pornography. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

06-21-2005, 07:45 AM	#4
Fizzgig Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: In Your Dreams Posts: 9,649	I think Punkworld has a lot of free time! :D __________________ ---'-,-{@ Sassy Grrrl @}-'-,---

06-21-2005, 07:53 AM	#6
wjxxx So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 4,448	Send him to the military school