How to fuck your mother!

If your mother is a crack addict - All you have to do here and wait until she is alone, high on crack, take out your dick and insert in her. If she resists, tell her you have hidden her rocks, or that you have an extra stash. These mothers are easy to blackmail into sex.
If your mother under the age of 28, single and still parties - Okay this means she is more sexually active than a bunny on viagra (and had you at the age of 12). And also chances are both of you are dumb as bricks. When she gets drunk talk about sex, walk around in your underwear and just start rubbing her when she gets incoherent. Make sure you are alone with her (or with your friends). If she has her friends, or boyfriends around, then you are looking for a fight. Otherwise it is party time. Ask her about her shitty job and sympathize with her. This goes a long way.
If your mother is a hardcore fundamentalist, this means she is starving for it. Wait until dad is FAR, FAR away and then slip your mother half a valium. Convince her to drink a little and then start making out with her. She will be so wet you will be able to stick a greased crucifix in her just as long as you keep this all within the "idea" of religion.

"HOLY SHIT! THIS WORKS!!" -email from Benny of DeRidder, Louisiana