Bank Robbery Gone WRONG! help? - GoFuckYourself.com

Xster · 05-21-2005, 05:44 PM

Ok, Studio execs want me to "punch up" the bank robbery scene in my screenplay.

Something should go wrong either in out out of the bank. Any ideas?

Note: These guys are Irish - It's Saint Patrick's day - They are not drunk - But very crazy.

tical · 05-21-2005, 05:46 PM

a pack of guardian angels come in to deposit donations

Xster · 05-21-2005, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tical

a pack of guardian angels come in to deposit donations

That's pretty damn funny! Funny is good. Lots of funny shit in the script.

I guess I could have the bank teller like their costumes or something. And have the guy get all pissed because she's not taking him seriously.

This is the gang exiting the bank:
The bank alarm BLARES and the doors smash open. Mickey?s crew exit in force with assault rifles, wearing green Leprechaun top hats, Shamrock sunglasses, orange false beards, and bullet proof vest.

Nysus · 05-21-2005, 05:51 PM

One of them shoots themselves in the nuts..

This is GFY, you should find maybe a script writer's forum?

Matt

pornguy · 05-21-2005, 05:51 PM

Better yet, have them get stuck at the door as a group of old ladies are trying to come in the turnstyle bank door, but having an issue about who will walk in with who, as two people fit per turn space.

8 Characters · 05-21-2005, 05:53 PM

How about one of them puts a pair of his mum's black panties on his face and it's got a poo stain on it.

Xster · 05-21-2005, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nysus

One of them shoots themselves in the nuts..

This is GFY, you should find maybe a script writer's forum?

Matt

I belong to a few writers forums. I'm also an adult webmaster. I think "we" have better creativitity than 99% of the writers out there.

Xster · 05-21-2005, 05:55 PM

That's VERY funny. haha. Good stuff.

Xster · 05-21-2005, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nysus

One of them shoots themselves in the nuts..

This is GFY, you should find maybe a script writer's forum?

Matt

I have a guy getting shot in the nuts near the end of the screenplay. Nice idea though

Robertf · 05-21-2005, 05:57 PM

It's raining and the ydon't like rain (no it doesn't rain that much in ireland *cough*) they need to fidn a umbrella ... then knock in the old ladies and other idea's ... and well it just doesn't get any better then that.

Antonio · 05-21-2005, 05:58 PM

k, so these three Irish dudes had decided to rob a bank, they walk in, draw their guns, politely tell everybody 'this is a fucking robbery, nobody moves', and believe it or not they proceed smashing the bulletproof glass that shields the tellers with SLEDGEHAMMERS.

Too bad that this was the very same day when detective Juicy D Links decided to cash his $6000.00 AAF check........

to be continued....

8 Characters · 05-21-2005, 05:59 PM

and make one of them start painting everything in the bank green because of st. patrick's day.

Xster · 05-21-2005, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robertf

It's raining and the ydon't like rain (no it doesn't rain that much in ireland *cough*) they need to fidn a umbrella ... then knock in the old ladies and other idea's ... and well it just doesn't get any better then that.

This film is being shot in Boston not Ireland. I don't think rain bothers them. =)

bringer · 05-21-2005, 06:02 PM

ones pants get caught in the door and rip off to reveal his green thong
"todays laundry day, its all i could find"
and then cut to the midget orgy

josian · 05-21-2005, 06:02 PM

Tell me more...who was waiting for them outside? Who many are them?
Are they experienced robbers, or this is the first time robbing?

Tell me more, I could write what you need.

Xster · 05-21-2005, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antonio

k, so these three Irish dudes had decided to rob a bank, they walk in, draw their guns, politely tell everybody 'this is a fucking robbery, nobody moves', and believe it or not they proceed smashing the bulletproof glass that shields the tellers with SLEDGEHAMMERS.

Too bad that this was the very same day when detective Juicy D Links decided to cash his $6000.00 AAF check........

to be continued....

I like the SLEDGEHAMMERS. Very good. I just think that would take to much time to get through. I mean they only got about 2 minutes to get in and out. I could have one of the guys go and do that and then the leader of the gang be like.......... "The fuck are ya doing!?"

Xster · 05-21-2005, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by josian

Tell me more...who was waiting for them outside? Who many are them?
Are they experienced robbers, or this is the first time robbing?

Tell me more, I could write what you need.

Thanks Josian. I don't need anyone to actually "write what I need". I'm selfish when it comes to OPENING CREDITS. The only name under Written by: will by mine. Thanks though!

Just lookin' for some ideas. I've heard some really good ones so far on here!

3 Guys in the bank.

1 guy outside in a car waiting.

Yes they are professional bank robbers. The leader, Mickey takes his work very seriously but the other 3 tend to fuck everything up.

Antonio · 05-21-2005, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xster

I like the SLEDGEHAMMERS. Very good. I just think that would take to much time to get through. I mean they only got about 2 minutes to get in and out. I could have one of the guys go and do that and then the leader of the gang be like.......... "The fuck are ya doing!?"

I didn't come up with the idea, it happened here in South Africa about two-three months ago. Some dudes robbed my bank, and another two afterwards using sledgehammers to break the bulletproof glass, all the robberies were done with military precision, and it took them less than 5 minutes to get in, rob the bank, and get out (according to the articles I read).

Xster · 05-21-2005, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antonio

I didn't come up with the idea, it happened here in South Africa about two-three months ago. Some dudes robbed my bank, and another two afterwards using sledgehammers to break the bulletproof glass, all the robberies were done with military precision, and it took them less than 5 minutes to get in, rob the bank, and get out (according to the articles I read).

It's very chilling to even think about. I love it. I wonder why they had to break through the bullet proof glass though? Couldnt they hold someone hostage in the bank, until they started tossing money through the little holes? Do you have an article on this?

josian · 05-21-2005, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xster

Thanks Josian. I don't need anyone to actually "write what I need". I'm selfish when it comes to OPENING CREDITS. The only name under Written by: will by mine. Thanks though!

Just lookin' for some ideas. I've heard some really good ones so far on here!

3 Guys in the bank.

1 guy outside in a car waiting.

Yes they are professional bank robbers. The leader, Mickey takes his work very seriously but the other 3 tend to fuck everything up.

Ok, no prob, you dont have to put my name or gave me any credits.
i just needed those details...give an hour, ill write you here what those 4 Crazy Irish robbers did that afternoon.

Basic_man · 05-21-2005, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nysus

One of them shoots themselves in the nuts..

This is GFY, you should find maybe a script writer's forum?

Matt

If he's asking on GFY, it's because he want some crazy stuff :P

Xster · 05-21-2005, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by josian

Ok, no prob, you dont have to put my name or gave me any credits.
i just needed those details...give an hour, ill write you here what those 4 Crazy Irish robbers did that afternoon.

Ok have fun! I always do. Have you written any screenplays before? There's a format, but don't worry about that stuff. Email me at mikebos781 |||@||| gmail.com You can read the screenplay if you want. We start shooting in August in Boston. Hopefully August anyway. We can't do anything until we come up with a budget. This bankrobbery might shoot the budget up quite a bit.

Spunky · 05-21-2005, 06:33 PM

Make them wear presidents masks and use toy guns..have a few older ladies beat them down and hold them until the cops come

Antonio · 05-21-2005, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xster

It's very chilling to even think about. I love it. I wonder why they had to break through the bullet proof glass though? Couldnt they hold someone hostage in the bank, until they started tossing money through the little holes? Do you have an article on this?

One day I went to my bank and found the cops there, and couple of days later read in the newspaper what had actually happened, I'll see if I can find some online article.

Xster · 05-21-2005, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Basic_man

If he's asking on GFY, it's because he want some crazy stuff :P

You got it! This screenplay is like Clockwork Orange meets Gangster flick.

Xster · 05-21-2005, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spunky

Make them wear presidents masks and use toy guns..have a few older ladies beat them down and hold them until the cops come

Yikes! I don't think the audience will respect them very much if that happened. Funny though! haha. --- They need to get away clean.

Antonio · 05-21-2005, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antonio

One day I went to my bank and found the cops there, and couple of days later read in the newspaper what had actually happened, I'll see if I can find some online article.

here's a link:

http://www.pretorianews.co.za/index....icleId=2470222

Xster · 05-21-2005, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by josian

Ok, no prob, you dont have to put my name or gave me any credits.
i just needed those details...give an hour, ill write you here what those 4 Crazy Irish robbers did that afternoon.

Also, please don't be offended if you and spend an hour on it, and I don't use any of what you wrote in the screenplay. Just a warning. But if you want to play around with the ideas, go right ahead. I'm just killing some time. I got writers cramp and brain farts.

jukeboxfrank · 05-21-2005, 06:39 PM

they forget their note and there are no pens in the bank. So this one dude comes in with a pen but will not let them use it. So they offer their gun to hold in exchange to use the pen....but the guy turns out to be an off duty cop.

pubenemy · 05-21-2005, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bringer

ones pants get caught in the door and rip off to reveal his green thong
"todays laundry day, its all i could find"
and then cut to the midget orgy

Haha thats great.

Xster · 05-21-2005, 07:01 PM

Here's the screenplay
http://www.towniesmovie.com/townies.pdf

There's like 3 scenes that need to be added in as "filler" in between scenes but it's pretty much done other than the robbery scene.

I hope you guys come and watch it in the theaters next year!

We are doing the whole film festival thing the end of this year, begining of next and then the movie should come out in theaters "hopefully" by March of 2006. I just gotta keep my fingers crossed.

The screenplay took me 8 months to write and guys that have been in the business a long time HATE me because I basically won the lottery having this screenplay filmed. It's good to be me I guess.

nofx · 05-21-2005, 07:04 PM

dont forget to add in the credits me for the car explosion scene ;]

nofx · 05-21-2005, 07:06 PM

a pregnant lady in the bank starts going into labor as they are robbing the place and a gun accidently goes off and kills her.

Hue G. Pness · 05-21-2005, 07:11 PM

I could write something in for you to spice up the scene but before I even explore that I want to know what my cut will be. I mean, you are more or less asking for someone else to do your work to push this thing through the door. That's understandable, however, I want a piece of the pie if I'm going to contribute and my idea is used.

Xster · 05-21-2005, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hue G. Pness

I could write something in for you to spice up the scene but before I even explore that I want to know what my cut will be. I mean, you are more or less asking for someone else to do your work to push this thing through the door. That's understandable, however, I want a piece of the pie if I'm going to contribute and my idea is used.

Everyones got their hand out. Yeah, I'll spend 8 months on writing this screeplay and you can spend 10 minutes on a robbery scene, and ill give you 10% of my cut. Keep walking buddy. Screenplays done. Just looking for some simple ideas for a bank robbery scene the studio wants me to punch up a notch. It's not like im not creative enough, I just thought it would be fun for people to throw around ideas. I love coming up with different scenes.

"Do my work to push this thing through the door?" I got hollywood execs on the phone. Your gonna push what for me? Easy now killer.

Xster · 05-21-2005, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hue G. Pness

I could write something in for you to spice up the scene but before I even explore that I want to know what my cut will be. I mean, you are more or less asking for someone else to do your work to push this thing through the door. That's understandable, however, I want a piece of the pie if I'm going to contribute and my idea is used.

AND even if you did come up with an idea, it wouldnt mean anything because you have to register that idea and prove that it was your idea. Lots of stuff that happens in movies has happened in other movies. Its hard to win in court over that kinda stuff. Go visit the WGA Writers Guild of America and do some research. Sounds like you know your stuff already though.

05-21-2005, 05:44 PM	#1
Xster Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Boston Posts: 577	Bank Robbery Gone WRONG! help? Ok, Studio execs want me to "punch up" the bank robbery scene in my screenplay. Something should go wrong either in out out of the bank. Any ideas? Note: These guys are Irish - It's Saint Patrick's day - They are not drunk - But very crazy.

05-21-2005, 05:46 PM	#2
tical Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 6,504	a pack of guardian angels come in to deposit donations __________________ 112.020.756

05-21-2005, 05:51 PM	#4
Nysus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 7,817	One of them shoots themselves in the nuts.. This is GFY, you should find maybe a script writer's forum? Matt __________________ What name is pr0 / Untouched Markets using these days? Untouched Markets - pr0 - Refund My Money Now Someone owes me $2,000 because they didn't do any work that was paid for pointing at pr0 / William / UntouchedMarkets See https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-business-discussion/948258-untouchedmarkets-pr0-refund-money-post16744521.html and for more detailed see https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-business-discussion/948645-re-recent-bullshit-drama-explained-detail-pr0-untouched-markets.html

05-21-2005, 05:51 PM	#5
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	Better yet, have them get stuck at the door as a group of old ladies are trying to come in the turnstyle bank door, but having an issue about who will walk in with who, as two people fit per turn space. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

05-21-2005, 05:57 PM	#10
Robertf Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 392	It's raining and the ydon't like rain (no it doesn't rain that much in ireland cough) they need to fidn a umbrella ... then knock in the old ladies and other idea's ... and well it just doesn't get any better then that. __________________ ....

05-21-2005, 05:53 PM	#6
8 Characters So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: This month's character: Dirty Franck Posts: 2,336	How about one of them puts a pair of his mum's black panties on his face and it's got a poo stain on it.

05-21-2005, 05:55 PM	#8
Xster Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Boston Posts: 577	That's VERY funny. haha. Good stuff.

05-21-2005, 05:58 PM	#11
Antonio Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Spartaaaaaaaaa Posts: 14,136	k, so these three Irish dudes had decided to rob a bank, they walk in, draw their guns, politely tell everybody 'this is a fucking robbery, nobody moves', and believe it or not they proceed smashing the bulletproof glass that shields the tellers with SLEDGEHAMMERS. Too bad that this was the very same day when detective Juicy D Links decided to cash his $6000.00 AAF check........ to be continued....

05-21-2005, 05:59 PM	#12
8 Characters So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: This month's character: Dirty Franck Posts: 2,336	and make one of them start painting everything in the bank green because of st. patrick's day.

05-21-2005, 06:02 PM	#14
bringer i have man boobies Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: van down by the river Posts: 13,082	ones pants get caught in the door and rip off to reveal his green thong "todays laundry day, its all i could find" and then cut to the midget orgy __________________ 333-765-551

05-21-2005, 06:02 PM	#15
josian Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrounded By RealMamis! Posts: 276	Tell me more...who was waiting for them outside? Who many are them? Are they experienced robbers, or this is the first time robbing? Tell me more, I could write what you need. __________________ Full videos and hundreds of pics of this big tits beauty available for sale. Exclusive and semi-exclusive available.

05-21-2005, 06:33 PM	#23
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	Make them wear presidents masks and use toy guns..have a few older ladies beat them down and hold them until the cops come __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

05-21-2005, 06:39 PM	#29
jukeboxfrank Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: www.jenniferworthington.com Posts: 1,207	they forget their note and there are no pens in the bank. So this one dude comes in with a pen but will not let them use it. So they offer their gun to hold in exchange to use the pen....but the guy turns out to be an off duty cop. __________________ ICQ= 231-182-592

05-21-2005, 07:01 PM	#31
Xster Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Boston Posts: 577	Here's the screenplay http://www.towniesmovie.com/townies.pdf There's like 3 scenes that need to be added in as "filler" in between scenes but it's pretty much done other than the robbery scene. I hope you guys come and watch it in the theaters next year! We are doing the whole film festival thing the end of this year, begining of next and then the movie should come out in theaters "hopefully" by March of 2006. I just gotta keep my fingers crossed. The screenplay took me 8 months to write and guys that have been in the business a long time HATE me because I basically won the lottery having this screenplay filmed. It's good to be me I guess.

05-21-2005, 07:04 PM	#32
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	dont forget to add in the credits me for the car explosion scene ;] __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

05-21-2005, 07:06 PM	#33
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	a pregnant lady in the bank starts going into labor as they are robbing the place and a gun accidently goes off and kills her. __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

05-21-2005, 07:11 PM	#34
Hue G. Pness Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Variable Posts: 1,237	I could write something in for you to spice up the scene but before I even explore that I want to know what my cut will be. I mean, you are more or less asking for someone else to do your work to push this thing through the door. That's understandable, however, I want a piece of the pie if I'm going to contribute and my idea is used. __________________ GFY Voice of Reason