Americans are finding it hard to get laid abroad

[leedsfan]

Report: U.S. Foreign Policy Hurting American Students' Chances Of Getting Laid Abroad

Advertisement

AMSTERDAM?American students traveling abroad confirm the findings of a study indicating that Washington's unilateral approach to foreign policy has seriously undermined Americans' chances of getting laid.
Report: U.S. Foreign Policy Hurting American Students' Chances Of Getting Laid Abroad

"I've been in Amsterdam for two months and have yet to begin a conversation with a cute girl that hasn't ended in a lecture about how big, evil America is taking everyone's oil," said college sophomore Brad Higgs, a participant in Johns Hopkins University's study-abroad program. "I offer to buy them a drink, and they tell me I shouldn't just stand by and watch Bush destroy the world. Look, if I had that type of pull with the president, I obviously wouldn't be out trolling for anonymous Dutch pussy."

The report, released Monday by the Center For U.S.-International Casual Relations, was based on interviews with approximately 1,400 American students returning from abroad. According to study director Gilbert Hapbrook, sexual contact between American students and foreigners has declined steadily since January 2001.

"Unpopular military actions and dismissal of international organizations have galvanized world hostility toward the U.S.," Hapbrook said. "Instead of being inundated with questions about Hollywood and requests to help hot young foreigners practice their English, Americans are being openly scorned in European pubs and cafes. Data taken from a poll of students in December 2004 showed that only a dismal 11 percent had achieved sexual congress with a non-American."

Hapbrook said the 2004 overseas-coitus figures show a slight recovery from the all-time low reached in November 2002, after the Afghanistan invasion and during escalating conflict with Iraq. But the figures are still well below those of 1999, when Bill Clinton was in office and a very healthy 67 percent of respondents scored abroad.

"I'm in Amsterdam?Amsterdam, for Christ's sake?and I'm in the middle of the longest dry spell I can remember," Higgs said. "Last week, I was making out with this Italian girl at a concert. It was all going great until the music ended and she heard my American accent. I swear to God, I went from the cusp of a hand job to, 'Why won't your country sign the Kyoto Treaty?'"

University of Colorado junior Casey Knight recently arrived in Amsterdam after a month in Germany.

"I asked a group of German girls at some Eurotrash disco to dance and they started yelling at me," Knight said. "They said that by paying taxes to the American government, I am no better than a fascist. Well, they would know, I guess."
A recent anti-American protest in Paris.
Above: A recent anti-American protest in Paris.

Even students who actively oppose President Bush are susceptible to criticism, according to Emily Biehn, a Duke University student spending her spring semester in Paris.

"I voted for Kerry and I marched against the Iraq war," Biehn said. "But when I got to Europe, I might as well have been wearing a Bush bumper sticker on my forehead and star-spangled cowboy boots. As soon as the French guys hear I am from the U.S., all they want to do is argue politics."

"And switching tactics and acting like you're totally apathetic about politics just pisses them off even more," Biehn added.

Acknowledging that a large-scale change in American foreign policy is unlikely to occur before the end of the current semester, Hapbrook recommended three tactics for American students frustrated in their attempts to bed foreigners.

"First, pretend you're Canadian whenever you can," Hapbrook said. "But make sure you're not around actual Canadians, because they'll know you're lying and cock-block you. Second, if there are any anti-American protests going on, take care to avoid women carrying signs. Third, focus your itinerary on countries like Ireland and Japan that are still relatively friendly to Americans."

"You may want to write off France altogether," Hapbrook added.

Hapbrook said he developed his tactics in 1983, when the American government was practicing hardline Cold War foreign policy and he was spending his junior year abroad.

Higgs, who spends most of his time in his hostel playing solitaire and watching DVDs on his laptop computer, urged students back home to write to their congressional representatives.

"This affects all of us," Higgs said. "The government has to acknowledge the needs of young Americans. Too many U.S. citizens in foreign lands are spending sleepless, lonely nights jerking off in increasingly filthy sleeping bags. It sucks."

[sexyclicks]

what about some gay lovin?

[kmanrox]

haahahaaa you've never been to brazil, thailand, macau, hong kong, AMSTERDAM, GERMANY then if you think its hard for an american to get laid

[abadfish]

While I was in Europe it was inevitable to argue politics with locals but it didn't stop any of us from hooking up with women.

I'm sure it's worse in some countries then others.

[Dirty F]

Dutch girls arent really impressed by American guys

[BradM]

Originally Posted by Franck

Dutch girls arent really impressed by American guys

They like Canadians.

[JSA Matt]

Originally Posted by Franck

Dutch girls arent really impressed by American guys

...or Dutch guys

[Pleasurepays]

i think that being sloppy, fat and loud hurts their chances more than Bush's foreign policy.

[Jim Neil]

Me, being a cute.. .young American living in the UK has not hurt me at all.

The chicks LOVE this dick.

Its true you know... EVERYTHING is bigger in America!
(thats the story atleast)

[abadfish]

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays

i think that being sloppy, fat and loud hurts their chances more than Bush's foreign policy.

Umm, when I was in Czech Rep. Americans were more respected then the British... They were much louder and in much greater numbers. Our local friends would cringe when they came in the door when we were out drinking.

[Phoenix]

haha americans have been pretending to be cdn when abroad for awhile
lots of back packers put a CDN flag in their stuff


be proud of your country and leave all the euro pussy to the canucksr

[JerseyPuma]

its called the onion, check it out sometime.

[BuggyG]

I won't say no to an American beauty if she wants me
fuck politics
gimme the poontang anytime!!

[StuartD]

That should have said
"Americans are finding it hard to get laid by a broad"

[SleazyDream]

trolls talking politics - too funny

[eroswebmaster]

. Look, if I had that type of pull with the president, I obviously wouldn't be out trolling for anonymous Dutch pussy."

LOL funny shit.

[Skillz Unlimited]

Sounds like you're gonna have to pay for some ass buddy - lol!!!

Sucks for you- lol

[jimmyf]

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays

i think that being sloppy, fat and loud hurts their chances more than Bush's foreign policy.

I would think so.

[Elli]

haha that's too funny

[directfiesta]

What is amazing is that they did actually do a study and report about this .....


On the other hand, Americans already have a bush, so why would they need some others ????

[Rich]

It could also be the fact that a good percentage of them are fat.

[fireorange]

Originally Posted by Rich

It could also be the fact that a good percentage of them are fat.

[jimmyf]

Originally Posted by directfiesta

What is amazing is that they did actually do a study and report about this .....


On the other hand, Americans already have a bush, so why would they need some others ????

i need your sig button, 2 put on my sites that get a lot of traffic from Europe.. can i use it ?

[directfiesta]

Originally Posted by jimmyf

i need your sig button, 2 put on my sites that get a lot of traffic from Europe.. can i use it ?

Comes from a site ( anti bush ... lol ) . I don't remember which one, but I didn't see any restrictions of use aside from not hotlinking.

So, go for it, but save it onto your server ....

[Anthony]

Originally Posted by Phoenix

haha americans have been pretending to be cdn when abroad for awhile
lots of back packers put a CDN flag in their stuff


be proud of your country and leave all the euro pussy to the canucksr

Made up story by a Canadian Reporter.

[Tat2Jr]

Originally Posted by JerseyPuma

its called the onion, check it out sometime.

I knew that story stunk like the onion!

[Rui]

hahahahaha great report

Serves them rigth tho

[Kevsh]

I remember seeing a McDonalds in Istanbul, Turkey and it was a funny site: Not a single "local" within 500 feet of the place, but crowded around the place like it was a 7/11 on a Friday night ... dozens of American college-aged kids.

It was peculiar but easy to explain: After traveling all this way to experience new culture, new poeple, blah blah blah, they inevitably resorted to what they know and love: American people and American food.

In any event, if there is a lesson here perhaps its that if you want to get laid in a foreign country (by a foreign lady/guy), you may just have to pry yourself away from the McDs for a few days? It won't kill you. Honest.

[PenisFace]

Originally Posted by Anthony

Made up story by a Canadian Reporter.

Never mind the stories my parents tell me about their travels to Europe in the 70's. They wore Canadian flags, and travelled with Americans who wore Canadian flags

[Anthony]

Originally Posted by PenisFace

Never mind the stories my parents tell me about their travels to Europe in the 70's. They wore Canadian flags, and travelled with Americans who wore Canadian flags

Just makes some canadians smug doesn't it?

In the end, really who cares? My top affiliates are Canadians. Money makes stupid shit like this really not even a concern.

[jimmyf]

I've got a friend that was born in Canada and has a Canadian passport a company use 2 hire him to go on service calls for them to Colombia.. They were scared the American Tech's would get killed or kidnapped

[jukeboxfrank]

Are you kidding most of the time we get fucked....it from a abroad........

[cambaby]

What a bunch of American bashing maroons - you poor poor third world countries - http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4117&n=1

[smack]

see, i think it would be easier for me to get laid abroad now. if they started bitching at me about the goverment, i would join right in.

[leedsfan]

Originally Posted by Anthony

Just makes some canadians smug doesn't it?

In the end, really who cares? My top affiliates are Canadians. Money makes stupid shit like this really not even a concern.

the post wasnt about money Anthony. We all like money thats why we're in the biz.

[leedsfan]

Originally Posted by NichePay - StuartD

That should have said
"Americans are finding it hard to get laid by a broad"

[SykkBoy]

Originally Posted by Rich

It could also be the fact that a good percentage of them are fat.

nah, most of the europeans are just upset that we take the time to shower and smell clean.....

[Schwick]

One of the things I love about Europe is that it is easy to hook up.

[Anthony]

Originally Posted by leedsfan

the post wasnt about money Anthony. We all like money thats why we're in the biz.

Thankfully, I know enough Canadians that don't have self esteem issues when it comes to their country.

[AdnerAdvertising]

Originally Posted by leedsfan

Report: U.S. Foreign Policy Hurting American Students' Chances Of Getting Laid Abroad

Advertisement

AMSTERDAM?American students traveling abroad confirm the findings of a study indicating that Washington's unilateral approach to foreign policy has seriously undermined Americans' chances of getting laid.
Report: U.S. Foreign Policy Hurting American Students' Chances Of Getting Laid Abroad

"I've been in Amsterdam for two months and have yet to begin a conversation with a cute girl that hasn't ended in a lecture about how big, evil America is taking everyone's oil," said college sophomore Brad Higgs, a participant in Johns Hopkins University's study-abroad program. "I offer to buy them a drink, and they tell me I shouldn't just stand by and watch Bush destroy the world. Look, if I had that type of pull with the president, I obviously wouldn't be out trolling for anonymous Dutch pussy."

The report, released Monday by the Center For U.S.-International Casual Relations, was based on interviews with approximately 1,400 American students returning from abroad. According to study director Gilbert Hapbrook, sexual contact between American students and foreigners has declined steadily since January 2001.

"Unpopular military actions and dismissal of international organizations have galvanized world hostility toward the U.S.," Hapbrook said. "Instead of being inundated with questions about Hollywood and requests to help hot young foreigners practice their English, Americans are being openly scorned in European pubs and cafes. Data taken from a poll of students in December 2004 showed that only a dismal 11 percent had achieved sexual congress with a non-American."

Hapbrook said the 2004 overseas-coitus figures show a slight recovery from the all-time low reached in November 2002, after the Afghanistan invasion and during escalating conflict with Iraq. But the figures are still well below those of 1999, when Bill Clinton was in office and a very healthy 67 percent of respondents scored abroad.

"I'm in Amsterdam?Amsterdam, for Christ's sake?and I'm in the middle of the longest dry spell I can remember," Higgs said. "Last week, I was making out with this Italian girl at a concert. It was all going great until the music ended and she heard my American accent. I swear to God, I went from the cusp of a hand job to, 'Why won't your country sign the Kyoto Treaty?'"

University of Colorado junior Casey Knight recently arrived in Amsterdam after a month in Germany.

"I asked a group of German girls at some Eurotrash disco to dance and they started yelling at me," Knight said. "They said that by paying taxes to the American government, I am no better than a fascist. Well, they would know, I guess."
A recent anti-American protest in Paris.
Above: A recent anti-American protest in Paris.

Even students who actively oppose President Bush are susceptible to criticism, according to Emily Biehn, a Duke University student spending her spring semester in Paris.

"I voted for Kerry and I marched against the Iraq war," Biehn said. "But when I got to Europe, I might as well have been wearing a Bush bumper sticker on my forehead and star-spangled cowboy boots. As soon as the French guys hear I am from the U.S., all they want to do is argue politics."

"And switching tactics and acting like you're totally apathetic about politics just pisses them off even more," Biehn added.

Acknowledging that a large-scale change in American foreign policy is unlikely to occur before the end of the current semester, Hapbrook recommended three tactics for American students frustrated in their attempts to bed foreigners.

"First, pretend you're Canadian whenever you can," Hapbrook said. "But make sure you're not around actual Canadians, because they'll know you're lying and cock-block you. Second, if there are any anti-American protests going on, take care to avoid women carrying signs. Third, focus your itinerary on countries like Ireland and Japan that are still relatively friendly to Americans."

"You may want to write off France altogether," Hapbrook added.

Hapbrook said he developed his tactics in 1983, when the American government was practicing hardline Cold War foreign policy and he was spending his junior year abroad.

Higgs, who spends most of his time in his hostel playing solitaire and watching DVDs on his laptop computer, urged students back home to write to their congressional representatives.

"This affects all of us," Higgs said. "The government has to acknowledge the needs of young Americans. Too many U.S. citizens in foreign lands are spending sleepless, lonely nights jerking off in increasingly filthy sleeping bags. It sucks."