Jokes 4 today

[DVTimes]

> > >>There is a factory in America which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
> > The
> > >> >toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. A new employee is
> > hired
> > >> >at
> > >> >the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day
> > >> >promptly
> > >> >at 08:00.
> > >> >The next day at 08:45 there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's
> > door.
> > >> >The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins
> > >> >to
> > >> >rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly
> > >> >slow
> > >> >and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production
> > line
> >> >behind schedule.
> > >> >The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself so the
> > >> >2
> > >> >men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line
> > is
> > >> >so
> > >> >backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory
> > floor
> > >> >and they're really beginning to pile up.
> > >> >At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by
> > >> >mountains
> > >> >of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge
> > >> >bag
> > >> >of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little
> > >> >piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to
> > carefully
> > >>
> > >> >sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
> > >>
> > >> >
> > >>
> > >> >The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes
> > of
> > >> >hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman. "I'm
> > >> >sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I
> > >> >think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday".
> > >> >"Your
> > >> >job is to give Elmo two test tickles


> > A couple decide to go for a meal on their anniversary and after
> > some deliberation decide on their local Chinese restaurant. They
> > peruse the menu and finally agree to share the chef's special
> > chicken surprise. The waiter brings over the meal, served in a
> > lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to start in on the
> > meal, the lid of the pot rises a tiny amount and she briefly sees
> > two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
> > "Jesus, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He didn't, so she asks
> > him to look in the pot.
> > He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and again he sees two beady
> > little eyes looking around before it firmly slams back down. Rather
> > perturbed he calls the waiter over, explains what is
> > happening and demands an explanation. "Well sir", says the waiter,
> > "What did you order?" "We both chose the same", he replies, "the chicken
> > surprise"
> >
> >
> >
> > Wait for It....................................
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > "Oh I do apologise, this is my fault" says the waiter, "I've
> > brought you the Peeking Duck"
> >

[8 Characters]

WOW yo, niggga I can post my FWD emails too...

But I'm afraid people would think I'm a fucking loser, like we think about you.

[Manowar]