Why We Love Children - GoFuckYourself.com

Loryn · 03-21-2005, 12:36 PM

These made me laugh so I thought I would share them with you guys to help start your Monday off with a smile!!!

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it

didn't move."

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,

finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and

keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come

in or stay out!'"

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking

her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a

tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother

smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to

sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little

voice: "The big sissy."

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's

sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was

wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned

over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,

"Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

6 When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old

came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into

the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."

"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

7 A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,

"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you

teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son

of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was,

two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little

to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried

to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken

Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking

chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,

"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."Her mother told her this was wrong, she must

say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and

said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was,

but mother says I'm not."

10 A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"

Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,

"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

WiredGuy · 03-21-2005, 12:44 PM

hehehe, cute stories

WG

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-21-2005, 12:49 PM

True. Thanks for the laughs.

ADG Webmaster

gecko · 03-21-2005, 12:49 PM

heh kids are soo adorable

who · 03-21-2005, 12:53 PM

This was a fucking great post.

I love you

CDSmith · 03-21-2005, 01:02 PM

Those are priceless. Great post.

Holly · 03-21-2005, 01:06 PM

Holy shit- a talking chicken!!

That's my favorite.

Loryn · 03-21-2005, 03:23 PM

You are welcome I am glad you guys liked them!!! I was laughing my ass off this morning.

I liked this one: Dad when you come in to spank me will you bring a glass of water?

dasexi1 · 03-21-2005, 03:34 PM

Those were pretty good, heard a couple before
but this one killed me

"I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"

Manowar · 03-21-2005, 03:37 PM

just a punk · 03-21-2005, 04:12 PM

To be serious. Liks as other animals whe have a prolongation of life instinct. That's why we love our children. Any parent will die without any doubts just to save his child.

just a punk · 03-21-2005, 05:01 PM

The original link is came from this board: http://www.incest100.com/sickandbiza...ver/index.html - see post #21843. Actually I'm using that board to post my Mature TGP/CJ links there and never though it somehow could be related to CP.

P.S. Filling the ASACP report to be sure it is.

just a punk · 03-21-2005, 05:06 PM

Just reported it to ASACP.org: "Your report has been submitted. Our staff will review your report as soon as possible. Thank you for your support!"

just a punk · 03-21-2005, 05:08 PM

Fuck mixed 2 threads... The last 2 post was intended for http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?p=6902080

Sorry guys...

GFYeveryone · 03-21-2005, 05:08 PM

kids are cute when they are kids.. once they hit the beginning of their teenage years they become shit disturbers and are ungrateful bastards

just a punk · 03-21-2005, 05:09 PM

I have more than 10 gfy windows opened at the same time, and sometimes posting to a wrong thread... Sorry again...

Loryn · 03-21-2005, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cyberxxx

I have more than 10 gfy windows opened at the same time, and sometimes posting to a wrong thread... Sorry again...

I was scratching my head trying to figure out how the hell my cute little jokes would be CP!!!

just a punk · 03-21-2005, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

I was scratching my head trying to figure out how the hell my cute little jokes would be CP!!!

Course they aren't. But seems the another thread is...

PHPdude · 03-21-2005, 05:59 PM

who would not love kids anyway. They are so adorable.

LadyMischief · 03-21-2005, 06:14 PM

Sounds like someone's met my kids :P

Loryn · 03-21-2005, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyMischief

Sounds like someone's met my kids :P

Head · 03-21-2005, 07:40 PM

That's great!

Spunky · 03-21-2005, 07:47 PM

Funny stuff

Mr Pheer · 03-21-2005, 08:10 PM

I like my kid.

But I cant stand other people's kids.

nofx · 03-21-2005, 08:12 PM

I love children

*do that in someone else thread*

mardigras · 03-21-2005, 08:29 PM

This was like a Bob Saget moment

axelcat · 03-21-2005, 08:37 PM

very cute

tony286 · 03-21-2005, 08:39 PM

very cute stuff

dij · 03-21-2005, 08:42 PM

nofx, not cool.

Furious_Female · 03-21-2005, 09:39 PM

LOL very cute stories!

03-21-2005, 12:36 PM	#1
Loryn Super Connector Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 12,853	Why We Love Children These made me laugh so I thought I would share them with you guys to help start your Monday off with a smile!!! 1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move." 2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?" 3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'" 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy." 5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron." 6 When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?" 7 A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four." 8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. 9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not." 10 A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" __________________ ~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~ RIP TD

03-21-2005, 12:49 PM	#3
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	True. Thanks for the laughs. ADG Webmaster __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

03-21-2005, 12:49 PM	#4
gecko ****** Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 21,846	heh kids are soo adorable __________________ [email protected]

03-21-2005, 01:02 PM	#6
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Those are priceless. Great post. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

03-21-2005, 01:06 PM	#7
Holly Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Jesusland Posts: 10,017	Holy shit- a talking chicken!! That's my favorite. __________________ War National Damn Champions Eagle

03-21-2005, 12:44 PM	#2
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,461	hehehe, cute stories WG __________________ I play with Google.

03-21-2005, 12:53 PM	#5
who So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ICQ #23642053 Posts: 19,593	This was a fucking great post. I love you

03-21-2005, 03:23 PM	#8
Loryn Super Connector Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 12,853	You are welcome I am glad you guys liked them!!! I was laughing my ass off this morning. I liked this one: Dad when you come in to spank me will you bring a glass of water? __________________ ~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~ RIP TD

03-21-2005, 03:34 PM	#9
dasexi1 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: if i told you, then THEY'D know Posts: 934	Those were pretty good, heard a couple before but this one killed me "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"

03-21-2005, 03:37 PM	#10
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528

03-21-2005, 04:12 PM	#11
just a punk So fuckin' bored Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 32,383	To be serious. Liks as other animals whe have a prolongation of life instinct. That's why we love our children. Any parent will die without any doubts just to save his child. __________________ Obey the Cowgod

03-21-2005, 05:01 PM	#12
just a punk So fuckin' bored Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 32,383	The original link is came from this board: http://www.incest100.com/sickandbiza...ver/index.html - see post #21843. Actually I'm using that board to post my Mature TGP/CJ links there and never though it somehow could be related to CP. P.S. Filling the ASACP report to be sure it is. __________________ Obey the Cowgod

03-21-2005, 05:06 PM	#13
just a punk So fuckin' bored Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 32,383	Just reported it to ASACP.org: "Your report has been submitted. Our staff will review your report as soon as possible. Thank you for your support!" __________________ Obey the Cowgod

03-21-2005, 05:08 PM	#14
just a punk So fuckin' bored Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 32,383	Fuck mixed 2 threads... The last 2 post was intended for http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?p=6902080 Sorry guys... __________________ Obey the Cowgod

03-21-2005, 05:08 PM	#15
GFYeveryone Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 92	kids are cute when they are kids.. once they hit the beginning of their teenage years they become shit disturbers and are ungrateful bastards

03-21-2005, 05:09 PM	#16
just a punk So fuckin' bored Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 32,383	I have more than 10 gfy windows opened at the same time, and sometimes posting to a wrong thread... Sorry again... __________________ Obey the Cowgod

03-21-2005, 05:59 PM	#19
PHPdude Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 1,164	who would not love kids anyway. They are so adorable. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

03-21-2005, 06:14 PM	#20
LadyMischief Orgasms N Such! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Oakville, Ontario Posts: 18,135	Sounds like someone's met my kids :P __________________ ICQ 3522039 Content Manager - orgasm.com [email protected]

03-21-2005, 07:40 PM	#22
Head Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Starship Enterprise Posts: 8,278	That's great! __________________

03-21-2005, 07:47 PM	#23
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,934	Funny stuff __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

03-21-2005, 08:10 PM	#24
Mr Pheer Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 20,887	I like my kid. But I cant stand other people's kids.

03-21-2005, 08:12 PM	#25
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	I love children do that in someone else thread __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide. Last edited by Loryn; 03-21-2005 at 10:06 PM..

03-21-2005, 08:29 PM	#26
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	This was like a Bob Saget moment

03-21-2005, 08:37 PM	#27
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450	very cute

03-21-2005, 08:39 PM	#28
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	very cute stuff

03-21-2005, 08:42 PM	#29
dij Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 2,163	nofx, not cool.

03-21-2005, 09:39 PM	#30
Furious_Female Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Upstate, New York Posts: 8,187	LOL very cute stories! __________________ Skype: j3nn.com ICQ 160370494 My current favorite high-converting sponsor: CrakRevenue