Some things I've learned from my gf's pregnancy - GoFuckYourself.com

StuartD · 02-23-2005, 09:22 AM

1. Everything is my fault. Her weight, her pains, discomforts, being sick, mood swings, dirty clothes, the weather.... it's all my fault.

2. Puberty really can last for 40 weeks straight.

3. If I take up more than 7 inches of my queen sized bed... I'm hogging too much. I must lay on my side, with one leg and one arm hanging over the edge at all times.

4. In addition to #3, I've learned to sleep quite comfortably with an elbow in my ribs and a knee in my spine.

5. "a tent" is not an appropriate answer to "what should I wear?"

6. "a pregnant woman needs exorcise" translates to "be prepared to run up and down the stairs to get stuff for her every 10 minutes."

TurboAngel · 02-23-2005, 09:24 AM

I'm sorry I find that funny.

xlogger · 02-23-2005, 09:24 AM

Damn! I dont want to be rite now.

Tera · 02-23-2005, 09:25 AM

HAHAHAHAHA thats funny!

I really enjoyed meeting her, she seems like a great woman! I am sure you just love doing all that stuff

Babagirls · 02-23-2005, 09:25 AM

me and my boyfriend laughed at that

Froey Twe · 02-23-2005, 09:26 AM

Damn dude looks like your goin to be pretty busy for a while, but things will get better when she?ll give birth, good luck to both of you. that was a good list btw lol

Froey Twe · 02-23-2005, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babagirls

me and my boyfriend laughed at that

ROFL

axelcat · 02-23-2005, 09:27 AM

I feel your pain

XX_RydeR · 02-23-2005, 09:27 AM

Your lucky.

You only have these problems while she's pregnant ?¿?¿. LoL

good luck, And congrats on the Pregnancy...

Rydz.

TheLegacy · 02-23-2005, 09:27 AM

LOL.. its so true though Im laughing.

what always goes through my mind and I say to my fiancee often is.. "wonder what would happen if I pulled that shit on you?" It always seems to stop her when she attempts to turn the tables and starts running the relationship. Sometimes I will repeat later on what she has said to me.. she flys off the handle calling me names until I mention to her that she had said the indentical comments to me no more than a few hours ago. That shuts her up.

Have to keep it fair bro and dont loose your identity in all of this. You can be equal, but dont think there isnt a power struggle to make you a slave.

xlogger · 02-23-2005, 09:28 AM

Yup, i dont think i will get anyone pregnant..ever!

Sarah - GTS · 02-23-2005, 10:25 AM

[QUOTE=NichePay - StuartD]

5. "a tent" is not an appropriate answer to "what should I wear?"

QUOTE]

still laughing OMG that is soo funny!

People still make fun of me for how HUGE I got when I was pregnant!

Odie · 02-23-2005, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tera

HAHAHAHAHA thats funny!

I really enjoyed meeting her, she seems like a great woman! I am sure you just love doing all that stuff

rofl...Tera, you didn't see how many flights of stairs he has to run up and down when she needs something..

LadyMischief · 02-23-2005, 10:28 AM

Hahahhaha welcome to the fold, big guy :P

PurrrsianPussyKat · 02-23-2005, 10:29 AM

Uhm Stuart it's not just because she's pregnant. ;)

dasexi1 · 02-23-2005, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NichePay - StuartD

5. "a tent" is not an appropriate answer to "what should I wear?"

you said that and she let you live?

she must REALLY love you

rowan · 02-23-2005, 10:59 AM

How many weeks is she now?

My wife is at about 19 weeks now and so far we've both been pretty lucky... she's lucky because she hardly has any symptoms (no nausea at all, just a bit of ligament pain) and I'm lucky because she hasn't become too much bitchier (yet).

Wiggles · 02-23-2005, 11:17 AM

god do i know this one!!

3. If I take up more than 7 inches of my queen sized bed... I'm hogging too much. I must lay on my side, with one leg and one arm hanging over the edge at all times.

dubsix · 02-23-2005, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NichePay - StuartD

1. Everything is my fault. Her weight, her pains, discomforts, being sick, mood swings, dirty clothes, the weather.... it's all my fault.

2. Puberty really can last for 40 weeks straight.

3. If I take up more than 7 inches of my queen sized bed... I'm hogging too much. I must lay on my side, with one leg and one arm hanging over the edge at all times.

4. In addition to #3, I've learned to sleep quite comfortably with an elbow in my ribs and a knee in my spine.

5. "a tent" is not an appropriate answer to "what should I wear?"

6. "a pregnant woman needs exorcise" translates to "be prepared to run up and down the stairs to get stuff for her every 10 minutes."

My wife is only @ 9 weeks at the moment... god what have I gotten myself into!

WiredGuy · 02-23-2005, 11:21 AM

Prepare for a life of misery

Congrats dude!

WG

Pete-KT · 02-23-2005, 11:22 AM

Haha thats funny

tASSy · 02-23-2005, 11:22 AM

when you said a "tent" i thought that she was naked when she asked what she should wear and you had a hard on in response....that should be ok!

Scott McD · 02-23-2005, 11:24 AM

Hehehe,

Chris · 02-23-2005, 11:32 AM

dude you just done got STARTED
wait tell the last few weeks
you think this is bad?
she will truely test your relashonship

she will do what she is doing now but 10000x worse

im not even joking

wait tell AfTERWARDS aswell and just pray she does not get post pardem depresson

this is what it is like after we had the baby now

the baby crys ... babys do that ... it is MY FAULT .... dunno why but it is my fualt the baby crys

she is holding the baby and she can tell the baby needs changed but she gets pissed at ME because i didnt change her?
Im like you are holding her I dont know that she is dirty?

and you work at home ... you wil regret it lol

i am sitting here working and she would be holding the baby or whatever and I am trying to seriously work and she does not stop asking me to do shit
can you get this
can you get that
over and over again

or she will get pissed because i didnt get up to make a bottle when the baby was hungry when she is just sitting there doing nothing while im working

or the baby is crying and she is sitting in her swign and I am working and all my girl is doing is watching tv
she gets PISSED because she has to get up and get the baby when I could of done it

I dont mind doing it - but i dont know why she cant do it for a few hours while i work so i can support her and the baby

I am the one who has slept out in the living room with the baby the past two nights as she hsa been really fussy and wants to sit up and sleep not lay down

and when my girl wakes up in the morning she comes out in the living room and wakes me up to get the baby from me and she wonders why I am cranking

HELL THE FUCK O ... i got maybe 3 hours a sleep a night when I am holding the baby all night while she sleeps as she kicks her little legs and wakes me up if I fall asleep

it is hell bro but worth it

this will truely test you ... test you every way possible

you will never cry as much in your life as you do when you are with this baby
it is that stressfull

you are just beging so enjoy what you hvae now

and dont also forget no sex for 6 weeks after the baby is born either

/end rant

Sparks · 02-23-2005, 11:37 AM

5. "a tent" is not an appropriate answer to "what should I wear?"

Ahahah, that was a good one. I would never have the balls to say it, tho.

Just_Dave · 02-23-2005, 11:38 AM

been there myself

Der Schleicher · 02-23-2005, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hostive

5. "a tent" is not an appropriate answer to "what should I wear?"

Ahahah, that was a good one. I would never have the balls to say it, tho.

youve got to be sensitive toher mood swings.

cool1 · 02-23-2005, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NichePay - StuartD

1. Everything is my fault. Her weight, her pains, discomforts, being sick, mood swings, dirty clothes, the weather.... it's all my fault.

2. Puberty really can last for 40 weeks straight.

3. If I take up more than 7 inches of my queen sized bed... I'm hogging too much. I must lay on my side, with one leg and one arm hanging over the edge at all times.

4. In addition to #3, I've learned to sleep quite comfortably with an elbow in my ribs and a knee in my spine.

5. "a tent" is not an appropriate answer to "what should I wear?"

6. "a pregnant woman needs exorcise" translates to "be prepared to run up and down the stairs to get stuff for her every 10 minutes."

Ah the start of being pussy whipped

rowan · 02-23-2005, 11:52 AM

Here's a big mistake a made a couple of months ago-

Wife: I'm going to get fat!

Me: What did you expect when you were pregnant?

I realised about 3 milliseconds after I finished that line that I probably shouldn't have said it that way.

StuartD · 02-23-2005, 11:58 AM

wtf? puberty? I meant to say PMS in #2. jeeze, see? I can't even think straight anymore.

Odie, you've got that right... going up and down 5 flights of stairs to get her an apple is one thing but having to go again a minute later to get her a drink as well..... oh well, at least I can keep my "girlish" figure this way

JupZChris, I can't wait... I'm taking notes on all this stuff so that one day.. God willing.. she'll be normal again and I can say "SEE!?!?! Remember this!?!?!"

sweetME · 02-23-2005, 12:04 PM

Yes, that's funny the way you put it

but would YOU rather be pregnant and see for yourself how it feels? It's really uncomfortable for her.

StuartD · 02-23-2005, 12:04 PM

I've thought of a few more while out today....

7. That little "toot" that is now killing the plant life in the living room is caused by the baby.. because a woman's "toots" don't stink. Uh huh.

8. In addition to #2 and #3.... my having a blanket at night is a "privilege".... not a "right".

9. It's really the baby that wants jalapeno chips at 2am... not her.. it's the baby!

10. The probability of a beverage being spilled all over the place is directly proportional to how close the pregnant woman is to it.

tranza · 02-23-2005, 12:07 PM

Lol, nice list, I'll right it down for the future...

StuartD · 02-23-2005, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dasexi1

you said that and she let you live?

she must REALLY love you

I still have the bruises

Quote:

Originally Posted by rowan

How many weeks is she now?

My wife is at about 19 weeks now and so far we've both been pretty lucky... she's lucky because she hardly has any symptoms (no nausea at all, just a bit of ligament pain) and I'm lucky because she hasn't become too much bitchier (yet).

She's 18 weeks now. She got the morning, noon and night sickness almost immediately. She's better now but going through the "growing" pains as her tummy stretches out a lot now.

CBytch · 02-23-2005, 12:39 PM

HAHAHA

Congrats on the baby.

You missed a very important one, never ever mess with a pregnant womans food

02-23-2005, 09:22 AM	#1
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	Some things I've learned from my gf's pregnancy 1. Everything is my fault. Her weight, her pains, discomforts, being sick, mood swings, dirty clothes, the weather.... it's all my fault. 2. Puberty really can last for 40 weeks straight. 3. If I take up more than 7 inches of my queen sized bed... I'm hogging too much. I must lay on my side, with one leg and one arm hanging over the edge at all times. 4. In addition to #3, I've learned to sleep quite comfortably with an elbow in my ribs and a knee in my spine. 5. "a tent" is not an appropriate answer to "what should I wear?" 6. "a pregnant woman needs exorcise" translates to "be prepared to run up and down the stairs to get stuff for her every 10 minutes." __________________ This is me on facebook This is me on twitter

02-23-2005, 09:25 AM	#4
Tera Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 1,426	HAHAHAHAHA thats funny! I really enjoyed meeting her, she seems like a great woman! I am sure you just love doing all that stuff __________________ [email protected] ICQ 96593794

02-23-2005, 09:25 AM	#5
Babagirls Text Writer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 18,812	me and my boyfriend laughed at that __________________ Need a Text Writer? Blogs\|Reviews\|Descriptions\|Paysites\|TGP's\|Stories ICQ: 397892500

02-23-2005, 09:27 AM	#9
XX_RydeR Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Australia. Posts: 2,151	Your lucky. You only have these problems while she's pregnant ?¿?¿. LoL good luck, And congrats on the Pregnancy... Rydz. __________________ You Dun Goofed!

02-23-2005, 09:27 AM	#10
TheLegacy SEO Connoisseur Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Brantford, Ontario Posts: 17,213	LOL.. its so true though Im laughing. what always goes through my mind and I say to my fiancee often is.. "wonder what would happen if I pulled that shit on you?" It always seems to stop her when she attempts to turn the tables and starts running the relationship. Sometimes I will repeat later on what she has said to me.. she flys off the handle calling me names until I mention to her that she had said the indentical comments to me no more than a few hours ago. That shuts her up. Have to keep it fair bro and dont loose your identity in all of this. You can be equal, but dont think there isnt a power struggle to make you a slave. __________________ SEO Connoisseur Microsoft Teams: Robert Warren SEO Telegram: @TheLegacy54 RobertWarrenSEO.com

02-23-2005, 09:24 AM	#2
TurboAngel H.B.I.C. Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: NC Posts: 30,122	I'm sorry I find that funny.

02-23-2005, 09:24 AM	#3
xlogger Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: NY Posts: 9,507	Damn! I dont want to be rite now. __________________ ---------- XLOGGER [REFLECTED] [OH]

02-23-2005, 09:26 AM	#6
Froey Twe Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,297	Damn dude looks like your goin to be pretty busy for a while, but things will get better when she?ll give birth, good luck to both of you. that was a good list btw lol

02-23-2005, 09:27 AM	#8
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450	I feel your pain

02-23-2005, 09:28 AM	#11
xlogger Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: NY Posts: 9,507	Yup, i dont think i will get anyone pregnant..ever! __________________ ---------- XLOGGER [REFLECTED] [OH]

02-23-2005, 10:25 AM	#12
Sarah - GTS Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,656	[QUOTE=NichePay - StuartD] 5. "a tent" is not an appropriate answer to "what should I wear?" QUOTE] still laughing OMG that is soo funny! People still make fun of me for how HUGE I got when I was pregnant! __________________ Buy Mobile traffic - target by county and / or device Got Mobile Traffic? don't redirect it away! We build you your very own mobile tube site complete with videos and pay you up to 20 cents PPC! Keep your valuable surfers, build traffic and build your SEO! There is no better solution for your mobile traffic! [email protected] ICQ# 229-972-572

02-23-2005, 10:28 AM	#14
LadyMischief Orgasms N Such! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Oakville, Ontario Posts: 18,135	Hahahhaha welcome to the fold, big guy :P __________________ ICQ 3522039 Content Manager - orgasm.com [email protected]

02-23-2005, 10:29 AM	#15
PurrrsianPussyKat Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Lost in the mountains Posts: 2,088	Uhm Stuart it's not just because she's pregnant. ;) __________________ Need a reliable, reasonably priced php programmer? Hit me up! 2934409

02-23-2005, 10:59 AM	#17
rowan Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 17,393	How many weeks is she now? My wife is at about 19 weeks now and so far we've both been pretty lucky... she's lucky because she hardly has any symptoms (no nausea at all, just a bit of ligament pain) and I'm lucky because she hasn't become too much bitchier (yet).

02-23-2005, 11:17 AM	#18
Wiggles Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 14,423	god do i know this one!! 3. If I take up more than 7 inches of my queen sized bed... I'm hogging too much. I must lay on my side, with one leg and one arm hanging over the edge at all times. __________________ no sig

02-23-2005, 11:21 AM	#20
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,487	Prepare for a life of misery Congrats dude! WG __________________ I play with Google.

02-23-2005, 11:22 AM	#21
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	Haha thats funny

02-23-2005, 11:22 AM	#22
tASSy Spread The Pink! Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: pinktown! Posts: 8,229	when you said a "tent" i thought that she was naked when she asked what she should wear and you had a hard on in response....that should be ok! __________________ tassyPINK ICQ ~ 318097066 *

02-23-2005, 11:24 AM	#23
Scott McD Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Posts: 67,795	Hehehe, __________________ I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!

02-23-2005, 11:32 AM	#24
Chris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: icq: 71462500 Skype: Jupzchris Posts: 27,880	dude you just done got STARTED wait tell the last few weeks you think this is bad? she will truely test your relashonship she will do what she is doing now but 10000x worse im not even joking wait tell AfTERWARDS aswell and just pray she does not get post pardem depresson this is what it is like after we had the baby now the baby crys ... babys do that ... it is MY FAULT .... dunno why but it is my fualt the baby crys she is holding the baby and she can tell the baby needs changed but she gets pissed at ME because i didnt change her? Im like you are holding her I dont know that she is dirty? and you work at home ... you wil regret it lol i am sitting here working and she would be holding the baby or whatever and I am trying to seriously work and she does not stop asking me to do shit can you get this can you get that over and over again or she will get pissed because i didnt get up to make a bottle when the baby was hungry when she is just sitting there doing nothing while im working or the baby is crying and she is sitting in her swign and I am working and all my girl is doing is watching tv she gets PISSED because she has to get up and get the baby when I could of done it I dont mind doing it - but i dont know why she cant do it for a few hours while i work so i can support her and the baby I am the one who has slept out in the living room with the baby the past two nights as she hsa been really fussy and wants to sit up and sleep not lay down and when my girl wakes up in the morning she comes out in the living room and wakes me up to get the baby from me and she wonders why I am cranking HELL THE FUCK O ... i got maybe 3 hours a sleep a night when I am holding the baby all night while she sleeps as she kicks her little legs and wakes me up if I fall asleep it is hell bro but worth it this will truely test you ... test you every way possible you will never cry as much in your life as you do when you are with this baby it is that stressfull you are just beging so enjoy what you hvae now and dont also forget no sex for 6 weeks after the baby is born either /end rant __________________ [email protected]

02-23-2005, 11:37 AM	#25
Sparks Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Southern CA Posts: 2,466	5. "a tent" is not an appropriate answer to "what should I wear?" Ahahah, that was a good one. I would never have the balls to say it, tho.

02-23-2005, 11:38 AM	#26
Just_Dave Its almost time Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 13,009	been there myself

02-23-2005, 11:52 AM	#29
rowan Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 17,393	Here's a big mistake a made a couple of months ago- Wife: I'm going to get fat! Me: What did you expect when you were pregnant? I realised about 3 milliseconds after I finished that line that I probably shouldn't have said it that way.

02-23-2005, 11:58 AM	#30
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	wtf? puberty? I meant to say PMS in #2. jeeze, see? I can't even think straight anymore. Odie, you've got that right... going up and down 5 flights of stairs to get her an apple is one thing but having to go again a minute later to get her a drink as well..... oh well, at least I can keep my "girlish" figure this way JupZChris, I can't wait... I'm taking notes on all this stuff so that one day.. God willing.. she'll be normal again and I can say "SEE!?!?! Remember this!?!?!" __________________ This is me on facebook This is me on twitter

02-23-2005, 12:04 PM	#31
sweetME Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 3,162	Yes, that's funny the way you put it but would YOU rather be pregnant and see for yourself how it feels? It's really uncomfortable for her. __________________ Email: questions @ Prodinix.com \| Site: Prodinix.com

02-23-2005, 12:07 PM	#33
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	Lol, nice list, I'll right it down for the future... __________________ I'm just a newbie.

02-23-2005, 12:39 PM	#35
CBytch Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 257	HAHAHA Congrats on the baby. You missed a very important one, never ever mess with a pregnant womans food __________________ ICQ-46523581