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What's the difference between a bucket of crap and a mother-in-law?
The bucket! |
yeh gay shit ay..
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Yo' mama so poor, when she went to take a bath, the roaches said "Wait your turn!"
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A little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the busdriver. As they're driving along, he sings, "If my daddy was a bull and my mommy was a cow, then I'd be a little bull." Annoyed, the busdriver tells the little boy to sit down, but the little boy continues, "If my daddy was a stag and my mommy was a deer, I'd be a little stag." The busdriver, tells the boy to shut up, but the little boy keeps singing, "If my daddy..." The busdriver suddently turns around and asks, "What if your daddy was gay and your mommy was a hooker?" The little boy then begins singing, "If my daddy was gay and my mommy was a hooker, then I'd be a busdriver."
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Yo' mama so stupid, she got scared when she was on the escalator and the power went out!
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You're so short, you could play racquetball on the curb.
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already have..
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What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass. |
SpongeBob rocks
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A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change "The Lord's Prayer" from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." The Pope refused his offer.
Two weeks later, the man offered the pope 10 million dollars to change it from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and again the Pope refused the man's generous offer. Another week later, the man offered the Pope 20 million dollars and finally the Pope accepted. The following day, the Pope said to all his officials, "I have some good news and some bad news. 'The good news is, that we have just received a check for 20 million dollars. The bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account!''' |
I hear that Motorola just proposed to buy out Enron today, and they're going to name it...
Moron! |
What do David Beckham and a Cartier watch have in common?
They both come in a Posh box! |
What's the difference between a toad and a horny toad?
One goes "Ribbit" and the other goes "Rubbit." |
Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden got off the camel and lifted up its tail and looked at the camel's butt. Just then a guy came over and said, "What are you doing?"
Osama replied, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel.'" |
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What do you call a guy from West Virginia who has no sisters?
A Virgin. |
Satisfaction is posting like mad
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One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom.
"Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!" |
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What has six boobs and five teeth?
The night shift at Waffle House. |
Yo Mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and the judges said, "Sorry no professonals."
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noooo but i want to win! lol
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My dog is making sweet sweet love to a pillow right now
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George Bush is so dumb he thinks the Joint Chiefs of Staff are a bunch of indians who roll extra fat doobies.
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Big Busted Women
-can get a taxi on the worst days -have a neat place to carry spare change -have always been the center of the arts (art) -make jogging a spectator sport -can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub -have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) -usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie -can always carry a little extra -always float better -know where to look first for lost earrings -rarely lack for a slow dance partner -have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner Small Busted Women -don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public -always look younger -find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap -can always see their toes and shoes -can sleep on their stomachs -have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars -know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts -know that everything more than a handful is wasted -can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle -can take an aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out |
rofl.. get your dog to stop that shit!
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mmm damn does that mean i have no chance
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but i want to win ! lol
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plz let me and i will be your friend
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hahah. you dog must take after you
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:( i hope he is my buddy too
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I would be happy with the iPod too, but I'll win the mac
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How come Texas A&M couldn't put on a nativity scene?
Because they couldnt find three wise men or a virgin! |
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