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#1 |
H.B.I.C.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NC
Posts: 30,122
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![]() You got up and read the newspaper and read that one of you're Ex's had died? I just found out a guy I dated died, he was diagnosed with stomach cancer a year after we broke up.We did stay friends after we broke up but then I moved to NJ. I have not seen or talked to him in 5 years and don't know if I should go to the funeral or not. What do you think? Should I go? I have some mixed feeling here.
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#2 |
web
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: On icq: 85-483-060
Posts: 9,533
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I think it would be nice if you went to the funeral, but thats just me...
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#3 |
H.B.I.C.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NC
Posts: 30,122
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The only thing is I know his ex-wife will be there and she didn't like me at all, I'm 15 years younger than her. I don't want to upset her by going. I don't know what to do.
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#4 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,769
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better if you visit the funeral.....it won't cause you any harm aiyt?
![]() since you together have had great times....its time to show how you appreciate the memoirzz
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#5 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Germany
Posts: 1,884
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Personally I hate funerals, just send a card and some flowers.
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#6 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 9,507
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#7 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in my pants, mostly..
Posts: 245
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trust in your own feelings, if you want to go then no matter who is there go, as you were part of each others lives, you have the same rights as anyone else there. all the best.
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Everybody together now, repeat after me ... We are all individuals. |
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#8 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Western NY
Posts: 5,114
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under those conditions, i doubt i woud go...been 5 years since you have seen him...maybe if you dated like 10 years or something, then maybe...
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#9 |
H.B.I.C.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NC
Posts: 30,122
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We were together for 7 years.
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#10 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 304
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I would go to the funeral, just to pay your respects. You can blend in with the crowd as to not upset the wife.
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#11 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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Sorry hun...the best thing to do is follow your heart...I think it would be nice to pay your respects...
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My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce! ![]() |
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#12 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: TN
Posts: 1,926
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Personally, I would prolly go to the funeral. It's really going to depend on what is going to effect you more. Will you regret it forever that you didn't go? Will it be really painful but worth the closure? Or would it be too awkward for you? It's a hard decision, but after careful thought, I'm sure you will know what's best for you.
I'm really sorry, by the way. I know loss is painful, of any kind, even people that aren't that close any more. ::hugs::
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#13 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In your mind
Posts: 3,766
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akward situation.... no advice from this boy sorry....
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#14 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 187
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Every person has to come to grips with the loss of someone that was special in their lives. Going to the funeral is one way most people do this. If you go to that funeral it will be for you and for his memories...it won't be for an ex.
In your position, I would go.
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#15 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Germany
Posts: 1,884
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#16 |
Doing the grind since 99
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Buffalo NY
Posts: 16,881
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If they are having a wake at least go early in the day (a lot of family may not be there) and pay your respects. Sign the guestbook and leave a cash donation for mass or whatever.
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Living in Virtual Reality Contact: Email (preferred): furiousmale .at. gmail - Skype: live:shanedws |
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#17 |
I need a beer
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠
Posts: 133,944
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Send some flowers to his funeral
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#18 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: TN
Posts: 1,926
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Quote:
That's a good idea... even maybe just send flowers...? How far would you have to travel? That would be a factor in my decision as well...
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#19 |
The Profiler
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: ICQ 76281726 and I'm female
Posts: 14,618
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I vote for the flowers myself.
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#20 | |
H.B.I.C.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NC
Posts: 30,122
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Quote:
Yea, 7 years is a substantial part of life. I have only had 4 boyfriends he was the longest. I just don't want his ex-wife to get upset, there hadn't been together for 3 years before we got together but I was younger than her so she didn't like that at all. I was 19 when we got together and 26 when we broke up. ![]() |
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#21 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: New York City
Posts: 354
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It's sad for sure but at least you guys didn't break up after you found out that he had stomach cancer. Regardless, I would attend the funeral.
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#22 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,332
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Oh .... I'm so sowwe to hear that .
![]() But I don't think you should necessarily go to funeral . Well it depends of how you gonna feel if you go there and how close you were when you were together .... etc. |
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#23 |
V.I.P.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: InYour Head
Posts: 7,886
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You single now?.....
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#24 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 35,218
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Just go with your heart on this one.
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#25 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Costa Rica
Posts: 1,764
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Yeah iŽd say if you can make it, you should go
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#26 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Starship Enterprise
Posts: 8,278
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I kow how you feel. It's happened to me and you just gotta move on.
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#27 |
First African GFY Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 12,114
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Damn, that is messed up.
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#28 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 14,423
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you should go and pay your respects, if you were close to someone it is the decent thing to do.
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#29 | |||
H.B.I.C.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NC
Posts: 30,122
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#30 |
Back in the harbor
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,482
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Do what feels good in your heart hon.
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#31 |
H.B.I.C.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NC
Posts: 30,122
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Thank you everyone I'm going.
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