Things Computers CAN Do... - GoFuckYourself.com

11-04-2001, 08:13 PM

... at least in movies:

1. Word processors never display a cursor.
2. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
3. Movie characters never make typing mistakes.
4. All monitors display inch-high letters.
5. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.
6. Those that don't have graphical interfaces will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
7. Note: Command line interfaces will give you access to any information you want by simply typing, "ACCESS THE SECRET FILES" on any near-by keyboard.
8. You can also infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS". (See "Fortress".)
9. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer even if it's turned off.
10. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. (Really advanced computers will also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.)
11. All computer panels operate on thousands of volts and have explosive devices underneath their surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash of light, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks and an explosion that causes you to jump backwards.
12. People typing on a computer can safely turn it off without saving the data.
13. A hacker is always able to break into the most sensitive computer in the world by guessing the secret password in two tries.
14. You may bypass "PERMISSION DENIED" message by using the "OVERRIDE" function. (See "Demolition Man".)
15. Computers only take 2 seconds to boot up instead of the average minutes for desktop PCs and 30 minutes or more for larger systems that can run 24 hours, 365 days a year without a reset.
16. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.
17. When the power plant/missile site/main computer overheats, all control panels will explode shortly before the entire building will.
18. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen (See "Clear and Present Danger").
19. If a disk contains encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you insert it.
20. Computers can interface with any other computer regardless of the manufacturer or galaxy where it originated. (See "Independence Day".)
21. Computer disks will work on any computer has a floppy drive and all software is usable on any platforms.
22. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it will have (See "Aliens".)
23. Note: You must be highly trained to operate high-tech computers because the buttons have no labels except for the "SELF-DESTRUCT" button.
24. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional active animation, photo-realistic graphics capabilities.
25. Laptops always have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and performance similar to a CRAY Supercomputer.
26. Whenever a character looks at a monitor, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto their face. (See "Alien" or "2001")
27. Searches on the internet will always return what you are looking for no matter how vague your keywords are. (See "Mission Impossible", Tom Cruise searches with keywords like "file" and "computer" and 3 results are returned.)

Wilber · 11-04-2001, 08:27 PM

Heh.

The Net. Sandra Bullock has rammed a floppy disk into
a comp and is d/l'ing to it at about 2Gb/sec. At least
thats what the status bar gui showed. Fastest floppy
I ever saw

Amputate Your Head · 11-04-2001, 08:36 PM

hehehe..... funny shit man...

Gary · 11-04-2001, 08:38 PM

I always wondered how he uploaded virus in Independednce day. I realize he was a genious, but wow!

Amputate Your Head · 11-04-2001, 08:45 PM

Lawnmower Man was one of my favorite movies... that shit fuckin' kicked ass man! I wanna project my conciousness into a mainframe!

Wilber · 11-04-2001, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head:
Lawnmower Man was one of my favorite movies... that shit fuckin' kicked ass man! I wanna project my conciousness into a mainframe!

Pierce Brosnan kept yakin' into his voice log at home. The
recorder was running while his wife bitched at him. Doctor
Angelo's raw capture must have been a 70Tb file. Awesomely
huge hard drives the shop must have provided :O

Roberto · 11-04-2001, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Wilber:
Heh.

The Net. Sandra Bullock has rammed a floppy disk into
a comp and is d/l'ing to it at about 2Gb/sec. At least
thats what the status bar gui showed. Fastest floppy
I ever saw

And every machine is a mac. of course.

11-05-2001, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Roberto:
And every machine is a mac. of course.

Oh yes of course. I remember the 4 G4s + Apple TFTs in Unbreakable that were positioned in the background while Bruce was talking to Samuel in the final scene.

------------------
...just call me Telefax.

fever · 11-05-2001, 01:30 PM

Why wouldnt they use Mac when ever Microsoft uses Macs in the commercial for WinXP?

onlyreal · 11-05-2001, 01:56 PM

in other one

she put a disk and see jenna jameson in action

and start to masturbate(himm wait.. was it on my dream or in film?

Quote:

Originally posted by Wilber:
Heh.

The Net. Sandra Bullock has rammed a floppy disk into
a comp and is d/l'ing to it at about 2Gb/sec. At least
thats what the status bar gui showed. Fastest floppy
I ever saw

[This message has been edited by onlyreal (edited 11-05-2001).]

onlyreal · 11-05-2001, 02:01 PM

we talked it with my designer friend

he says high end designer and others guys use mac for thier works
may be this is an answer for you

hey guys
in Turkish film about history going on 1450s

one of actor wears casio watch while he is shooting enemy with his arrows

Quote:

Originally posted by fever:
Why wouldnt they use Mac when ever Microsoft uses Macs in the commercial for WinXP?

Roberto · 11-05-2001, 02:33 PM

you need macs if you're doing lots of print jobs, but there's no need for one if you're doing photoshop/flash/illustartor or anything for web with today's pcs, but macs have better looks so i guess that's why they get the contracts

(no flame, i have both mac and pc) anyway you can't do serious movie video with a mac (just sgi)

11-04-2001, 08:13 PM	#1
X37375787 Guest Posts: n/a	Things Computers CAN Do... ... at least in movies: 1. Word processors never display a cursor. 2. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences. 3. Movie characters never make typing mistakes. 4. All monitors display inch-high letters. 5. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces. 6. Those that don't have graphical interfaces will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English. 7. Note: Command line interfaces will give you access to any information you want by simply typing, "ACCESS THE SECRET FILES" on any near-by keyboard. 8. You can also infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS". (See "Fortress".) 9. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer even if it's turned off. 10. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. (Really advanced computers will also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.) 11. All computer panels operate on thousands of volts and have explosive devices underneath their surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash of light, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks and an explosion that causes you to jump backwards. 12. People typing on a computer can safely turn it off without saving the data. 13. A hacker is always able to break into the most sensitive computer in the world by guessing the secret password in two tries. 14. You may bypass "PERMISSION DENIED" message by using the "OVERRIDE" function. (See "Demolition Man".) 15. Computers only take 2 seconds to boot up instead of the average minutes for desktop PCs and 30 minutes or more for larger systems that can run 24 hours, 365 days a year without a reset. 16. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second. 17. When the power plant/missile site/main computer overheats, all control panels will explode shortly before the entire building will. 18. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen (See "Clear and Present Danger"). 19. If a disk contains encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you insert it. 20. Computers can interface with any other computer regardless of the manufacturer or galaxy where it originated. (See "Independence Day".) 21. Computer disks will work on any computer has a floppy drive and all software is usable on any platforms. 22. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it will have (See "Aliens".) 23. Note: You must be highly trained to operate high-tech computers because the buttons have no labels except for the "SELF-DESTRUCT" button. 24. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional active animation, photo-realistic graphics capabilities. 25. Laptops always have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and performance similar to a CRAY Supercomputer. 26. Whenever a character looks at a monitor, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto their face. (See "Alien" or "2001") 27. Searches on the internet will always return what you are looking for no matter how vague your keywords are. (See "Mission Impossible", Tom Cruise searches with keywords like "file" and "computer" and 3 results are returned.)

11-04-2001, 08:27 PM	#2
Wilber Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Location: De,Oh,Lei Posts: 1,295	Heh. The Net. Sandra Bullock has rammed a floppy disk into a comp and is d/l'ing to it at about 2Gb/sec. At least thats what the status bar gui showed. Fastest floppy I ever saw

11-04-2001, 08:36 PM	#3
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	hehehe..... funny shit man...

11-04-2001, 08:38 PM	#4
Gary Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Kimmykims couch Posts: 6,110	I always wondered how he uploaded virus in Independednce day. I realize he was a genious, but wow!

11-04-2001, 08:45 PM	#5
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	Lawnmower Man was one of my favorite movies... that shit fuckin' kicked ass man! I wanna project my conciousness into a mainframe!

11-05-2001, 01:30 PM	#9
fever Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Sweden Posts: 228	Why wouldnt they use Mac when ever Microsoft uses Macs in the commercial for WinXP?

11-05-2001, 02:33 PM	#12
Roberto Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 1,459	you need macs if you're doing lots of print jobs, but there's no need for one if you're doing photoshop/flash/illustartor or anything for web with today's pcs, but macs have better looks so i guess that's why they get the contracts (no flame, i have both mac and pc) anyway you can't do serious movie video with a mac (just sgi)