Is there anything more pathetic then....

[mahoney]

Is there anything more pathetic then these Retarded religous groups promising pussy in the after life ? Not just pussy but 72 virgins!!! How Retarded are suicide bombers in the middle east lol. They call us shallow but their killing themselves for pussy ? Talk about doing it "all for the nooky"

[longbrick]

Did you say 72 virgins?

[xclusive]

72 virgins? But what they don't tell you is that they are teh ugliest people to ever live...

[shima]

I actually thought they are doing it for the Allah.

[sickkittens]

Nothing like making 72 cry.

p.s. than ;)

[Manowar]

72 virgins ? fuck! where do i sign up ?

[mahoney]

Originally Posted by sickkittens

Nothing like making 72 cry.

p.s. than ;)

Yeah if it was true I would be on board

[psili]

Originally Posted by mahoney

Yeah if it was true I would be on board

Prove the 72 virgin thing untrue.




Seriously though, I know what you're saying. I like to pick religions based on how I feel at a given moment: Horny = that 72 virgin religion you mention. Rebellious = Lutheran. Preachy = Catholic. Smart = Buddhist. Etc. etc.

[escorpio]

I might do it for 72 nasty sluts.

[Fred Quimby]

A critical shortage of virgins has suddenly put Heaven itself in the hot seat, informed sources say. The problem cast doubt on whether Islamic martyrs will continue to receive the 72 virgins promised to them as a reward for sacrificing their lives for God. Speculation began circulating that future martyrs might soon be entitled to 60, or perhaps even fewer, virgins.

The Almighty readily admitted to the problem. "It's a simple matter of supply and demand," He explained. "Just do the math. The September 11 hijackers: there were 19 of them, right? That's over 1300 virgins right there. On top of that, look at all the recent suicide bombers in the occupied territories. Every one of those bombers - even the women - gets the 72 virgins." God threw up His arms in exasperation. "Where am I supposed to get all these Virgins from? Do I look like I'm made of virgins?"

Disappointed, followers did not accept the Lord's explanation at face value. "The Qur'an promises us 72 virgins if we sacrifice our lives in the name of Allah," complained prominent Muslim scholar Muhammad Sayed Haqla. "Seventy-two. Not 71, and certainly not 60. I'm trying to recruit prospective martyrs here. If I have to tell people they might only get only 60 or fewer virgins, they're going to do it"

As a stopgap measure, God has proposed the use of young, "barely broken-in" non-virgins for less illustrious martyrs. "These guys who blow themselves up and injure, like, three people - they're just abusing the system," the Creator complained. " The 72 virgins are really intended for the big shots, the Mohammed Attas. So, for the lesser guys, I'm offering non-virgins. But you must realize, these girls are young, they're supple, they're innocent. Sure, they've had one or two experiences. But the average guy is not going to be able to tell the difference. In fact, I defy you to tell the difference."

Unsatisfied, Haqla scoffed at the proposal. "He thinks we can't tell virgins from non-virgins? He must be taking us for fools. 'One or two experiences,' He says? 'Barely broken in?' Sounds like a snow job to me." Asked whether He should have promised His followers 72 virgins if He was unable to keep up with demand, God answered testily, "Yeah, well, you do this job."

Scholars and prominent Muslims like Haqla showed little sympathy for God's position. Haqla in particular feels his recruitment effort is in jeopardy. "With the promise of 72 virgins in doubt, I just can't recruit the kind of talent I need. Let's face it, these guys who strap bombs to their chests and walk into a crowded market - they aren't doing it for the glory, they're not doing it for the moral satisfaction. They're doing it for the virgins." - Freddy

[Scrapper]

I know many of guys who died a slow death over pussy.. well a financial death

[titmowse]

no more crazy than believing that after you die, you'll be cradled in the arms of baby jesus

[woj]

Originally Posted by Fred Quimby

A critical shortage of virgins has suddenly put Heaven itself in the hot seat, informed sources say. The problem cast doubt on whether Islamic martyrs will continue to receive the 72 virgins promised to them as a reward for sacrificing their lives for God. Speculation began circulating that future martyrs might soon be entitled to 60, or perhaps even fewer, virgins.

The Almighty readily admitted to the problem. "It's a simple matter of supply and demand," He explained. "Just do the math. The September 11 hijackers: there were 19 of them, right? That's over 1300 virgins right there. On top of that, look at all the recent suicide bombers in the occupied territories. Every one of those bombers - even the women - gets the 72 virgins." God threw up His arms in exasperation. "Where am I supposed to get all these Virgins from? Do I look like I'm made of virgins?"

Disappointed, followers did not accept the Lord's explanation at face value. "The Qur'an promises us 72 virgins if we sacrifice our lives in the name of Allah," complained prominent Muslim scholar Muhammad Sayed Haqla. "Seventy-two. Not 71, and certainly not 60. I'm trying to recruit prospective martyrs here. If I have to tell people they might only get only 60 or fewer virgins, they're going to do it"

As a stopgap measure, God has proposed the use of young, "barely broken-in" non-virgins for less illustrious martyrs. "These guys who blow themselves up and injure, like, three people - they're just abusing the system," the Creator complained. " The 72 virgins are really intended for the big shots, the Mohammed Attas. So, for the lesser guys, I'm offering non-virgins. But you must realize, these girls are young, they're supple, they're innocent. Sure, they've had one or two experiences. But the average guy is not going to be able to tell the difference. In fact, I defy you to tell the difference."

Unsatisfied, Haqla scoffed at the proposal. "He thinks we can't tell virgins from non-virgins? He must be taking us for fools. 'One or two experiences,' He says? 'Barely broken in?' Sounds like a snow job to me." Asked whether He should have promised His followers 72 virgins if He was unable to keep up with demand, God answered testily, "Yeah, well, you do this job."

Scholars and prominent Muslims like Haqla showed little sympathy for God's position. Haqla in particular feels his recruitment effort is in jeopardy. "With the promise of 72 virgins in doubt, I just can't recruit the kind of talent I need. Let's face it, these guys who strap bombs to their chests and walk into a crowded market - they aren't doing it for the glory, they're not doing it for the moral satisfaction. They're doing it for the virgins." - Freddy