GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - Anyone here ever have hemmoroids? I think I might have them!

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- - Anyone here ever have hemmoroids? I think I might have them! (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=398545)

:( Those pics are disturbing

Quote:

Originally posted by Holly
About 3 years ago one of my girlfriends calls me up and she's laughing so hard she can barely speak. She goes on to tell me that the night before her husband gets in bed and after a few minutes he tells her, "I have some really bad news and I've been debating on whether I should tell you or not." He then says that he thinks he may have cancer and that he's made an appointment with the doctor to be checked. She asks him where and he says, "in my butt." She flips out and is trying to figure out what's going on. Long story short, he finally lets her see it and it's a hemorrhoid. :1orglaugh A tree had fallen in their yard and he had chopped it up and moved it, and apparently the straining from that had caused it, but he didn't know what it was.

Naturally he swore her to secrecy about it, but of course she told me and a couple more of our other girlfriends. To this day it's one of those inside joke things that makes us laugh until we almost piss ourselves. We can be anywhere, doing anything, and one of us will suddenly say, "I think I have ass cancer" and we all lose it. :1orglaugh

OMG Holly that's classic :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

you just can't make stuff like this up LOL!

Any canadian sites you can buy this stuff online? (Especially the medicated pads)

No fucking way i'm buying those from the cute cashier at the pharmacy

no damn fucking way

BTW My GameBoy game me the roids

After over 20 years of roids and mucho nagging from the wife, I finally had surgery last year and got rid of the little bleeders once and for all.

The surgery wasn't too bad, had an epidural and watched them cut the bastards away. The worst bit was when the epidural wore off and I started getting the feeling back in my legs and arse, fuck did that hurt.

Most painful thing I've ever had done and I was doubled up in bed for 2 weeks solid, even the most powerful painkillers couldn't make the pain in my arse go away.

2 weeks after the surgery, nothing, can take a shit, eat what I want and sit at my PC all day, no problem

Best thing I ever did was lose those bastards.

Best advice I can give...don't go out wearing light coloured trousers when they're hanging...just not worth the risk :1orglaugh

DAMN I sure hope I can get them Then maybe people will stop fucking me in da ass so hard@#$

i think those pics on the first page killed the thread :1orglaugh

Quote:

Originally posted by Dildozer
Any canadian sites you can buy this stuff online? (Especially the medicated pads)

No fucking way i'm buying those from the cute cashier at the pharmacy

no damn fucking way

BTW My GameBoy game me the roids

just do what I suggested with the baby wipes and witch hazel, it is almost the exact same thing as the prepackaged wipes

Quote:

Originally posted by Holly
If you've never read this before, read it:

http://www.zug.com/scrawl/analbob/

It's worth it. :1orglaugh

http://www.zug.com/scrawl/analbob/finger.jpg

that is priceless..good read :thumbsup

Quote:

Originally posted by HighOnAcid
So they really never go away? :(

They will go away within a week or less I bet. You will probably get them again .. hopefully not soon.. try to avoid heavy lifting and the medicated pads work great. My son has them a few times a year ... I have never heard of the witch hazel remedy but I will for sure try it.. Thanks for the tip!

Good Luck and no remember.. no ass sex hehe :Graucho

Quote:

I would be so fucking mad at you !

i had that once. it only occurs when the person is eating chili food, lack of water so everytime they vowel it's really hard, that sometimes blood come out. so if you want to avoid this. drink lots of food and you have to vowel everyday.

Heheh, anal fissure bob is a classic.

If you don't work in a cubicle there's no need to work from a chair. Get yourself a reclining support of some sort and work lying down. Plus you feel like a roman emperor :)