California's Succession Letter - GoFuckYourself.com

aico · 12-01-2004, 06:02 PM

Oh Only if this were true:

Dear President Bush:
Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving you. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North East States, and the urban half of Ohio.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then.

God is going to give us the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. In addition, we're getting San Diego. (Sorry, that's just how it goes.) But God is letting you have the KKK and country music (except the Dixie Chicks).

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and anti-war.

Speaking of war, we're going to need all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in Falujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.

So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands, though. She IS from the south, right?)

Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with your own late night TV shows because we get MTV, Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny show.)

We wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.

Sincerely,
California

Greg Jacobson · 12-01-2004, 06:18 PM

How long till Northern California splits from SoCal?

Melody · 12-01-2004, 06:20 PM

lol - that's fucking great.

And who knows, secession is now an increasingly hot topic among politically-inclined people I know.

foolio · 12-01-2004, 06:28 PM

right on

PornGeneral · 12-01-2004, 07:00 PM

Jefferson State

http://www.jeffersonstate.com/

Mr Dickovitch · 12-01-2004, 07:50 PM

Dear California,

Have fun at all the gay weddings and abortions and blow me.

Elli · 12-01-2004, 07:51 PM

I heard today that Vermont was looking into secession. Go figure.

Succession.. hehehe

Kimmykim · 12-01-2004, 07:53 PM

Damn and I thought our only successes were overpriced real estate, freak ass cold weather and lots of traffic ;)

KC · 12-01-2004, 08:14 PM

If California Succedes from the Union, Nevada and Arizona will just turn off the electricity!

media · 12-01-2004, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KC
If California Succedes from the Union, Nevada and Arizona will just turn off the electricity!

Shows how much you know =)

Most of their power is coming from Oregon and Washington right now...

sumphatpimp · 12-01-2004, 08:23 PM

never get high on your own supply.

go!
we don't want you

pornguy · 12-01-2004, 08:25 PM

This could actually get worse that it seems.

They always said that the south will rise again. But now it seems more like the outer rim states.

12-01-2004, 06:02 PM	#1
aico Moo Moo Cow Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 14,748	California's Succession Letter Oh Only if this were true: Dear President Bush: Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving you. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North East States, and the urban half of Ohio. We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then. God is going to give us the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. In addition, we're getting San Diego. (Sorry, that's just how it goes.) But God is letting you have the KKK and country music (except the Dixie Chicks). Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to need all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in Falujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home. So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands, though. She IS from the south, right?) Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with your own late night TV shows because we get MTV, Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny show.) We wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon. Sincerely, California

12-01-2004, 06:20 PM	#3
Melody Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: The Democratic Blue States of America Posts: 130	lol - that's fucking great. And who knows, secession is now an increasingly hot topic among politically-inclined people I know. __________________ Selling transsexualbabes.com ... latinapictures.com ... sexyphotographs.com ... toons4free.com. Whois them, email, make offer.

12-01-2004, 06:28 PM	#4
foolio ICQ: 178725656 Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny San Diego Posts: 12,366	right on __________________

12-01-2004, 07:00 PM	#5
PornGeneral Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: In front of computer Posts: 564	Jefferson State http://www.jeffersonstate.com/ __________________ "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -Patton "Only the dead have seen the end of war." -Plato

12-01-2004, 07:51 PM	#7
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	I heard today that Vermont was looking into secession. Go figure. Succession.. hehehe __________________ email: [email protected]

12-01-2004, 06:18 PM	#2
Greg Jacobson Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 812	How long till Northern California splits from SoCal?

12-01-2004, 07:50 PM	#6
Mr Dickovitch Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 1,070	Dear California, Have fun at all the gay weddings and abortions and blow me.

12-01-2004, 07:53 PM	#8
Kimmykim bitchslapping zebras!!!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: In a shack by the beach Posts: 16,015	Damn and I thought our only successes were overpriced real estate, freak ass cold weather and lots of traffic ;)

12-01-2004, 08:14 PM	#9
KC Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 1995 Posts: 2,417	If California Succedes from the Union, Nevada and Arizona will just turn off the electricity! __________________ Jupiter Hosting, Inc. Vice President, Business Development kc (AT) jupiterhosting.com

12-01-2004, 08:23 PM	#11
sumphatpimp Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,235	never get high on your own supply. go! we don't want you

12-01-2004, 08:25 PM	#12
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	This could actually get worse that it seems. They always said that the south will rise again. But now it seems more like the outer rim states. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!