JOD (joke of the day) - GoFuckYourself.com

iwantchixx · 11-14-2004, 07:48 PM

Top Ten Times in history when using the "f" word was appropriate:

1) "What the f**k was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima

2) "Where did all these f**king Indians come from?" - Custer

3) "Any f**king idiot could understand that." - Einstein

4) "It does SO f**king look like her!" - Picasso

6) "How the f**k did you work that out?" - Pythagoras

5) "You want WHAT on the f**king ceiling?" - Michaelangelo

4) "I don't suppose it's gonna f**king rain." - Joan of Arc

3) "Scattered f**king showers... my ass!" - Noah

2) "I need this parade like I need a f**king hole in my head!" - J.F.K.

And the number one most appropriate reason to use the "f" word....

1) "Who the f**k is going to know?" - Bill Clinton

iwantchixx · 11-14-2004, 07:49 PM

another

The big-rig operator stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts.

"Says, what's your name, mister?" she inquired after she'd climbed into the cab.

"It's Snow----Roy Snow," he answered, and what's yours?"

"Me, I'm June----June Hansn," she said.

"Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?" she challenged the trucker some miles down the road.

"Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered with a question of his own, "having eight inches of Snow in June?"

webmaster x · 11-15-2004, 11:24 AM

funny stuff man.

Lucy · 11-15-2004, 11:28 AM

spamofon · 11-15-2004, 11:29 AM

4) "I don't suppose it's gonna f**king rain." - Joan of Arc

iwantchixx · 11-15-2004, 11:35 AM

A little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.

"That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked.

"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs."

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat.

"Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing in OUR garden!"

macho · 11-15-2004, 11:47 AM

axelcat · 11-15-2004, 11:50 AM

good list

webmaster x · 11-15-2004, 12:01 PM

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF ....

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!"

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'

You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

You take a six-pack cooler to church.

You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.

You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

CET · 11-15-2004, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by iwantchixx
2) "I need this parade like I need a f**king hole in my head!" - J.F.K.

foxylady · 11-15-2004, 12:54 PM

Manowar · 11-15-2004, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by iwantchixx
another

The big-rig operator stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts.

"Says, what's your name, mister?" she inquired after she'd climbed into the cab.

"It's Snow----Roy Snow," he answered, and what's yours?"

"Me, I'm June----June Hansn," she said.

"Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?" she challenged the trucker some miles down the road.

"Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered with a question of his own, "having eight inches of Snow in June?"

Tricksy · 11-15-2004, 01:49 PM

good stuff

Rankings · 11-15-2004, 02:30 PM

theres some good ones there

pornpf69 · 11-15-2004, 02:32 PM

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Tala · 11-15-2004, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by iwantchixx
Top Ten Times in history when using the "f" word was appropriate:

1) "What the f**k was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima

2) "Where did all these f**king Indians come from?" - Custer

3) "Any f**king idiot could understand that." - Einstein

4) "It does SO f**king look like her!" - Picasso

6) "How the f**k did you work that out?" - Pythagoras

5) "You want WHAT on the f**king ceiling?" - Michaelangelo

4) "I don't suppose it's gonna f**king rain." - Joan of Arc

3) "Scattered f**king showers... my ass!" - Noah

2) "I need this parade like I need a f**king hole in my head!" - J.F.K.

And the number one most appropriate reason to use the "f" word....

1) "Who the f**k is going to know?" - Bill Clinton

Gotta love a guy who has Dream Theater lyrics in his location tag.

11-14-2004, 07:48 PM	#1
iwantchixx Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Boonies Posts: 12,860	JOD (joke of the day) Top Ten Times in history when using the "f" word was appropriate: 1) "What the fk was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima 2) "Where did all these fking Indians come from?" - Custer 3) "Any fking idiot could understand that." - Einstein 4) "It does SO fking look like her!" - Picasso 6) "How the fk did you work that out?" - Pythagoras 5) "You want WHAT on the fking ceiling?" - Michaelangelo 4) "I don't suppose it's gonna fking rain." - Joan of Arc 3) "Scattered fking showers... my ass!" - Noah 2) "I need this parade like I need a fking hole in my head!" - J.F.K. And the number one most appropriate reason to use the "f" word.... 1) "Who the fk is going to know?" - Bill Clinton

11-15-2004, 11:24 AM	#3
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11-15-2004, 11:28 AM	#4
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11-15-2004, 12:01 PM	#9
webmaster x Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 4,400	YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF .... The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People." You think Genitalia is an Italian airline. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!" You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.' You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. You go to your family reunion looking for a date. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare. You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines." You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. You take a six-pack cooler to church. You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge. One of your kids was born on a pool table. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard. Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it. You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos." Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. __________________ Click 9500 FHG Text Descriptions--Only $89!

11-14-2004, 07:49 PM	#2
iwantchixx Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Boonies Posts: 12,860	another The big-rig operator stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts. "Says, what's your name, mister?" she inquired after she'd climbed into the cab. "It's Snow----Roy Snow," he answered, and what's yours?" "Me, I'm June----June Hansn," she said. "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?" she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. "Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered with a question of his own, "having eight inches of Snow in June?"

11-15-2004, 11:29 AM	#5
spamofon Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 2,999	4) "I don't suppose it's gonna f**king rain." - Joan of Arc

11-15-2004, 11:35 AM	#6
iwantchixx Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Boonies Posts: 12,860	A little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked. "No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs." The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat. "Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing in OUR garden!"

11-15-2004, 11:50 AM	#8
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11-15-2004, 12:54 PM	#11
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11-15-2004, 01:49 PM	#13
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11-15-2004, 02:30 PM	#14
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