We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot
of entertainers have promised to leave the country if
George W. Bush is re-elected President.
With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those
who still want to keep their promise!
Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and
her wife, Ed Asner, Janeane Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg,
Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob
Reiner (apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara
Streisand, Jane Fonda, Pierre Salinger, as well as the
entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else
who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets
and report to Florida for the sailing of the Carnival
Funship "Elation," which has been commissioned to
take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.
You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq.
The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell
Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and
Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.
Please pack for an extended stay... at least four more
years.
Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may
not bring any.
Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al
Gore as cruise director, Grey Davis as Purser, and
Terry Heinz Kerry hopefully will be kept somewhere
below decks away from the media.
Monica Lewinsky as the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl,"
Entertainment by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce
Springsteen. John Kerry will be our Life Guard in
consideration of his past experience in pulling people
out of the water. (Unless he decides at the last
minute not to go.) He is advocating the elimination
of the game "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game
which he calls "waffleboard." Be sure to pack your
flip-flops as you will need them while playing.
Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and Director of
Emergency Procedures. Rev. Al Sharpton wi ll provide
inspirational services, and Ex-Congressman Gary Condit
will serve as intern coordinator.
If you have any questions about making arrangements
for your homes, friends, and loved ones, please direct
your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village
can raise your children while you're gone, and she can
watch over all your money and your furnishings until
you return.
"Bon Voyage!"
Is this a great country or what?
of entertainers have promised to leave the country if
George W. Bush is re-elected President.
With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those
who still want to keep their promise!
Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and
her wife, Ed Asner, Janeane Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg,
Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob
Reiner (apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara
Streisand, Jane Fonda, Pierre Salinger, as well as the
entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else
who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets
and report to Florida for the sailing of the Carnival
Funship "Elation," which has been commissioned to
take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.
You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq.
The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell
Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and
Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.
Please pack for an extended stay... at least four more
years.
Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may
not bring any.
Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al
Gore as cruise director, Grey Davis as Purser, and
Terry Heinz Kerry hopefully will be kept somewhere
below decks away from the media.
Monica Lewinsky as the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl,"
Entertainment by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce
Springsteen. John Kerry will be our Life Guard in
consideration of his past experience in pulling people
out of the water. (Unless he decides at the last
minute not to go.) He is advocating the elimination
of the game "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game
which he calls "waffleboard." Be sure to pack your
flip-flops as you will need them while playing.
Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and Director of
Emergency Procedures. Rev. Al Sharpton wi ll provide
inspirational services, and Ex-Congressman Gary Condit
will serve as intern coordinator.
If you have any questions about making arrangements
for your homes, friends, and loved ones, please direct
your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village
can raise your children while you're gone, and she can
watch over all your money and your furnishings until
you return.
"Bon Voyage!"
Is this a great country or what?
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