WANTED: Full Time PHP, MySQL developer - GoFuckYourself.com

EvilFubAr · 10-19-2004, 01:41 PM

ARS - adultrevenueservice.com

Innovative Ideas International, a state of the art Internet marketing and traffic monetization company, is currently seeking to fill a full time programmer/developer position. The ideal candidate has 3+ years of experience using PHP, Apache, and MySQL. Must be knowledgeable with shell and shell commands, Perl, and Ecommerce systems. Candidate must be self motivated, able to work under pressure, and meet deadlines. 3+ years working in the adult industry a plus. Must be willing to relocate to Las Vegas, NV. Please send resumes to [email protected]

Skills / Technology Required Daily:
? PHP4
? MySQL (mysql client, table layout/design, server maintenance, replication, etc?)
? FreeBSD 4.x
? Shell (accessing the shell and shell commands)
? Overall knowledge of how programming effects systems
? Perl
? Apache 1.3.x
? Server configurations
? MySQL settings and database usage methods
? PHP software tuning
? ZPS (Zend Performance Suite)
? ZDS (Zend Download Server)

Rich · 10-19-2004, 02:01 PM

Nice job

phpslave · 10-19-2004, 03:22 PM

JSA Matt · 10-19-2004, 03:48 PM

SleazeQueen · 10-19-2004, 04:09 PM

Gosh, I don't have any of those cumpooter skilz, but I have big tits. Can I have the job anyway?

frish · 10-19-2004, 04:19 PM

hehe...
I don't have big tits

but I'm lazy and will stay @home - how can we arrange this ?

AndrewKanuck · 10-19-2004, 04:35 PM

2 years ago, maybe even a year ago - I would have been all over that kinda job. Vegas, programming, ARS, all good shit

wdsguy · 10-19-2004, 04:37 PM

a great opportunity for someone talented

phpslave · 10-19-2004, 07:58 PM

cezam · 10-19-2004, 08:01 PM

Wow, I meet all these requirements!

Too bad it's impossible for me to relocate to Vegas

hagbard · 10-19-2004, 09:17 PM

watch out. they're not REALLY in vegas. its all a lie. These devious bastards are in a dangerous suburb of vegas called "Summerlin" or "death by traffic circle"

They need a php programmer because phpslave is too scared to get to work (like 5 blocks) because of all the people run over by 98 year old retirees in their land yachts.

Within like 3 miles of their office are at least FOUR "traffic circles" which everyone except downtown London have abandoned as suicide traps.

Nah. they're good guys, go for the job. Summerlin's fucking great and you can go to the webmaster sushi parties in vegas which are always fun

NOT kidding about the fucking "roundabouts"

swedguy · 10-19-2004, 09:53 PM

If US would give out more H1-B's I would apply

hagbard · 10-19-2004, 09:53 PM

bump so phpslave can get out on his crotchrocket more often

phpslave · 10-19-2004, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hagbard
watch out. they're not REALLY in vegas. its all a lie. These devious bastards are in a dangerous suburb of vegas called "Summerlin" or "death by traffic circle"

They need a php programmer because phpslave is too scared to get to work (like 5 blocks) because of all the people run over by 98 year old retirees in their land yachts.

Within like 3 miles of their office are at least FOUR "traffic circles" which everyone except downtown London have abandoned as suicide traps.

Nah. they're good guys, go for the job. Summerlin's fucking great and you can go to the webmaster sushi parties in vegas which are always fun

NOT kidding about the fucking "roundabouts"

ROFL

whee · 10-20-2004, 01:51 AM

Can I work over VNC from home?

xxxoutsourcing · 10-20-2004, 02:06 AM

ocho-ocho · 10-20-2004, 02:08 AM

why not outsouce?

boyw_utr · 10-20-2004, 02:58 AM

Any Good Candidates yet?
If not hit me up on ICQ.....

Would love to move from The Netherlands to Vegas

dolla · 10-20-2004, 04:36 AM

they are not in summerlin anymore, so the roundabouts are no more

notjoe · 10-20-2004, 04:54 AM

How much is the sallery?

Are re-location expenses covered?

SilverTab · 10-20-2004, 05:43 AM

damn! awesome opportunity...too bad I can't relocate...

hagbard · 10-20-2004, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by notjoe
How much is the sallery?

Are re-location expenses covered?

The Salary is basically phpslave's leftover sushi and beer (with cig butts in)

Relocation expenses could be described as "a greyhound bus ticket and a bedroll in phpslaves car port"

Note: I am an official rep of ARS and am making these claims with their full knowledge and support*

*not actually true.

garfield81 · 10-20-2004, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by hagbard
watch out. they're not REALLY in vegas. its all a lie. These devious bastards are in a dangerous suburb of vegas called "Summerlin" or "death by traffic circle"

They need a php programmer because phpslave is too scared to get to work (like 5 blocks) because of all the people run over by 98 year old retirees in their land yachts.

Within like 3 miles of their office are at least FOUR "traffic circles" which everyone except downtown London have abandoned as suicide traps.

Nah. they're good guys, go for the job. Summerlin's fucking great and you can go to the webmaster sushi parties in vegas which are always fun

NOT kidding about the fucking "roundabouts"

Your off on the count. There are a total of 3 roundabouts in summerlin and if I am not mistaken they are the only three in the entire city

touretts · 10-20-2004, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by garfield81
Your off on the count. There are a total of 3 roundabouts in summerlin and if I am not mistaken they are the only three in the entire city

I can count 4 off the top of my head in a within a mile and a half.

hagbard · 10-20-2004, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by garfield81
Your off on the count. There are a total of 3 roundabouts in summerlin and if I am not mistaken they are the only three in the entire city

Even if you skip the one at pavillion center (costco) you still cant ignore the long list just on towncenter....

(edit: HAD A cunning list of mapquest shots of the circle jerks (roundabouts) - 5 of em around town center, but gfy fucked up the urls.)

anyhoo. best of luck to anyone that wants to deal with phpslave on a daily basis. Frankly, bravery like that would be better suited to life as a truck driver in iraq but, hey, why not

phpslave · 10-20-2004, 04:30 PM

10-19-2004, 01:41 PM	#1
EvilFubAr Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Earth Posts: 1,141	WANTED: Full Time PHP, MySQL developer ARS - adultrevenueservice.com Innovative Ideas International, a state of the art Internet marketing and traffic monetization company, is currently seeking to fill a full time programmer/developer position. The ideal candidate has 3+ years of experience using PHP, Apache, and MySQL. Must be knowledgeable with shell and shell commands, Perl, and Ecommerce systems. Candidate must be self motivated, able to work under pressure, and meet deadlines. 3+ years working in the adult industry a plus. Must be willing to relocate to Las Vegas, NV. Please send resumes to [email protected] Skills / Technology Required Daily: ? PHP4 ? MySQL (mysql client, table layout/design, server maintenance, replication, etc?) ? FreeBSD 4.x ? Shell (accessing the shell and shell commands) ? Overall knowledge of how programming effects systems ? Perl ? Apache 1.3.x ? Server configurations ? MySQL settings and database usage methods ? PHP software tuning ? ZPS (Zend Performance Suite) ? ZDS (Zend Download Server)

10-19-2004, 03:22 PM	#3
phpslave Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: San Jose Posts: 548	bump __________________

10-19-2004, 04:09 PM	#5
SleazeQueen Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Western WA Posts: 634	Gosh, I don't have any of those cumpooter skilz, but I have big tits. Can I have the job anyway? __________________ Bush can no more fire Rove than Charlie McCarthy could fire Edgar Bergen.

10-19-2004, 04:19 PM	#6
frish Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Luxembourg Posts: 335	hehe... I don't have big tits but I'm lazy and will stay @home - how can we arrange this ? __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

10-19-2004, 04:35 PM	#7
AndrewKanuck Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Cleveland & Atlanta Posts: 6,706	2 years ago, maybe even a year ago - I would have been all over that kinda job. Vegas, programming, ARS, all good shit __________________

10-19-2004, 02:01 PM	#2
Rich So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,486	Nice job

10-19-2004, 03:48 PM	#4
JSA Matt So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 5,464

10-19-2004, 04:37 PM	#8
wdsguy Ryde or Die Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California-Shanghai Posts: 19,568	a great opportunity for someone talented

10-19-2004, 07:58 PM	#9
phpslave Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: San Jose Posts: 548	bump __________________

10-19-2004, 08:01 PM	#10
cezam Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: CZ, EU Posts: 1,363	Wow, I meet all these requirements! Too bad it's impossible for me to relocate to Vegas

10-19-2004, 09:17 PM	#11
hagbard Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 309	watch out. they're not REALLY in vegas. its all a lie. These devious bastards are in a dangerous suburb of vegas called "Summerlin" or "death by traffic circle" They need a php programmer because phpslave is too scared to get to work (like 5 blocks) because of all the people run over by 98 year old retirees in their land yachts. Within like 3 miles of their office are at least FOUR "traffic circles" which everyone except downtown London have abandoned as suicide traps. Nah. they're good guys, go for the job. Summerlin's fucking great and you can go to the webmaster sushi parties in vegas which are always fun NOT kidding about the fucking "roundabouts"

10-19-2004, 09:53 PM	#12
swedguy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 7,981	If US would give out more H1-B's I would apply

10-20-2004, 01:51 AM	#15
whee Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: http://www.nightstation.com Posts: 1,375	Can I work over VNC from home? __________________ http://www.nightstation.com

10-20-2004, 02:06 AM	#16
xxxoutsourcing Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 3,888	Bump __________________ xxxoutsourcing.com ICQ:119936 \| Aim:xxxoutsourcing \| MSN:msn@ xxxoutsourcing.com \| Yahoo:xxxoutsourcing Submitters, Designers, Programmers, Cartoonist, Creative Writers, Video & Photo Editors Convert your Paysite into a cartoon site convert2toons.com

10-20-2004, 02:08 AM	#17
ocho-ocho Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,769	why not outsouce? __________________ ____________________________ under construction

10-20-2004, 02:58 AM	#18
boyw_utr Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 310	Any Good Candidates yet? If not hit me up on ICQ..... Would love to move from The Netherlands to Vegas __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

10-20-2004, 04:36 AM	#19
dolla Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 125	they are not in summerlin anymore, so the roundabouts are no more __________________ $70.00 per signup on your webcam traffic

10-20-2004, 04:54 AM	#20
notjoe Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 5,599	How much is the sallery? Are re-location expenses covered?

10-20-2004, 05:43 AM	#21
SilverTab Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: MTL Posts: 5,060	damn! awesome opportunity...too bad I can't relocate... __________________ mmm my sig was too big... no more cool animation but hey still! need php? ICQ: 94586959

10-20-2004, 04:30 PM	#26
phpslave Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: San Jose Posts: 548	bump __________________