as much as possible, i dont want to spank nor hurt my kid . . . . .

but im a hot headed person so im trying to control myself . . . . :(

sadly spanking isn't always the solution.. I have a 7 year old who is going through some testing to see if there is something wrong with him physically or psychologically. I am to the point I am about to ban him from coming to my house and living with his father because he is so violent. I spank him and it makes him meaner and more aggressive. I actually had to call the cops to come and restrain him. Yes, he has a father, yes he has a step father and both are active in his life. However, how far can you go before hurting the child physically?

damn... I had a very similar thing happen to me with my late husband's son.. I shudder even thinking about him

I came to live with his father and him when he was 10 and the first thing he did when he met me was to come up and hug me and tell me he loved me. I knew right then I was in trouble

This kid was so evil.. he lied, caused trouble at school, got suspended several times, destroyed everything around him and was a constant source of stress for me and his father.

Trouble was.. everytime he'd do something bad, his father wouldn't let me discipline him or discipline him himself except to ban him to his room or spank him.. imagine.. spanking a 10 yr old! My husband didn't have a clue about raising kids, and he'd say something every time I'd try to reason with him.. he'd say, he's just a kid!

Well that "kid" is in jail now.. and I feel so sorry for him.. none of this was his fault.. he was destined to be in trouble from the time he was old enough to talk.

The die is cast young folks.. by the time they're 3 or 4 the social learning is over, and if you haven't done a good job, you'll have hell to pay

like i say guide with the left hand, smack with the right.

I love Wal-Mart too!

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

That's the perfect way to tell your child that it is ok to use violence if you can't handle the situation.
Your child will learn that and use that later when he or she get older.
Your teacher should get her ass fired for even comming up with any scenario where it would be okay to hit a child.
And yes we got a boy on 6 years and one that is almost 3 months old, I know it can be frustrating some times but never to the point where I could ever consider spanking any of them.
If anyones kids behave like that they need to take more time with their kids so they can get a better understanding of each other.
A child scream, yell and kick because of frustration, parents hit because of frustation.

Wondering why it was so important to say it was BLACK kid, versus just a kid? :2 cents: :2 cents:

i remember pulling shit much less annoying than that when i was young and getting a good 5 fingers to the face for it.

Maybe I'm a freak but yeah I got hit some times growing up. To this day I don't think I benefited from it. There seems to be a certain age where you don't even know what's right and wrong. You just have to learn through experience. Getting hit and not knowing why sucks.

Fact is that it wasnt a white/asian/hispanic which tried to grab my shit...Maybe cops should leave the skin colour out when give out details of suspects since everyone is capable of comitting crimes :).

I love the advice in this thread
I pray some of you skip the whole breeding thing...

while I've been known to land a swat on an ass occasionally, it's always just one quick swat (generally with a cupped hand as that sounds louder even though you're not hitting as hard) and that's always after repeated warnings and never in public.

A time out is generally much more effective than a spanking and I'm talking a REAL timeout as well as things taken away. My kids have learned if they act up in a store or restaurant, when we get home, they lose computer time, play time with friends and have to stay inside while everyone else is outside playing. These are worse punishments than a spanking and the kid understands they lose a priveledge if the act up.

Follow through is also important. If they've been warned to calm down and don't, then the punishment needs to be followed through (by BOTH parents, in the case it's not a single mom raising a child because some pussy ass fuckface can't take care of his kid)

There also has to be positive reinforcement. If a child acts good at the store or in public, they get a small treat. It has to be a balance of rewards and punishments. This is more effective then just busting a kid's ass when they mess up. I under stand kids will be kids and they sometimes get wound up, but again, this is where rewards need to be balanced out with punishments.

It's worked so far with my kids (except the odd excursion ot the store once in awhile, which is why there have been less and less family excursions to the store ;-)).

My kids aren't perfect angels, but they aren't the hell spawn I've seen running lose either. I'm constantly complimented on my kids' behavior in public. If my wife and I are together and one kid is acting up but the others are acting good, the kid who acted up gets to go out to the car with one of us and the others get to stay inside and get a small treat. This leads to some amazing peer pressure to be good amongst my kids.

Although really, if the worst thing a kid does is swing on a railing in a bank, or isn't totally silent in the store, then someone's doing their job just fine and the person bitching needs to chill out a little.

For that matter, I've seen grown men and women act like bigger idiots han kids at the bank, in stores and in line to buy fucking stamps....

yes

so if it was a white kid you would have made the same comment "Starting him off a little early aren't we"

Fucking kids

I was thinking the exact same thing...and on so many different levels.

why was a black person in the bank anyway joe. they dont have money, oh was it the end of the month must have been time to cash their welfare check.

Sometimes a good ol' spanking, does wonders. :)

She probably sued the bank and got some loot...

Because they are looking for a 'suspect' - had the child grabbed your cheques and ran then your description of colour would have been necessary. However, in this situation it is not. MO.

Oh and speaking of $$, I sure hope you brought my banking info with you while you were at the bank >=)

LOL this thread kills me.


I try my hardest not to ever spank my kids. They have to do something very bad to get me to that point. My oldest is too old for it anyway. Instead I just take everything out of his room. Over the summer, all he had in his room was a bed and a bookshelf. I took every toy and video games I could find. That works better than spanking any day.

Wouldn't have mattered since we bank at different banks,drop me an email with your bank info and i'll deposit the cash today/tomorrow :thumbsup

As for the description, what you're saying is that as long as you dont get robbed then you cant define the skin colour of someone?

I was simply stating what happened to me and by whom. If you feel that i've been racist for speaking the truth about my experiences at the bank yesterday then i apologize but that will never change what happened and by whom :)

Absolutely... It isn't only the Black, Hispanic, Asian, etc population with little thug punks who are 5-10 years old that are going around robbing people at gun point.

It's _MOST_ of our younger population with these problems, due to poor parental skills.


On a different note (and using my own race as an example) if I kept on getting robbed/harassed by Portuguese and/or Jewish people would I then be allowed to harbor resentment towards those races or start to categorize them as "bad"?

As for the people saying to beat your kids... dont...beating them isnt the option BUT a firm hand and not losing control never hurt any kid.

If the kid is acting up to the point that he needs a smack to let him remember who the boss is then you can bet he/she'll get it.

There is a difference between abuse and a firm hand for discipline

I grew up in a very no shit strict asian household.

I remember being 7 in the 70's, just got back from a year in the Phillipines and going to the YMCA with my family. The pool was full,so i started whining about "I thought we were gonna swim today". My mother smacked me so hard in the middle of the Y in front of people that to this day, I feel the smack and the looks from other people.

Taught me a lesson. I rarely talked back to my mother till the teen years. That's another story.

He told the story. It was a black kid, plain and simple.

leave it be.