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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed.

 
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Old 02-24-2001, 10:13 AM   #1
Vector
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 11
Joke of the day

Morning all Just something to brighten up the day....

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with
the product information.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system
activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night
2.5, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5 and Racing 3.6 no longer run,
crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the Uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! Thanks,

Signed,
A Troubled User

*****************************
Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely an Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run
everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to
Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating system files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to
emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the
system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0
is designed to not allow this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or
Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in
your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings: Maintenance/Child Support".

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0. I suggest installing the background
application program Yes_Dear to alleviate software augmentation. Having
installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire
section regarding "General Partnership Faults (GPFs)".

You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur,
regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPFs tend to be somewhat
cyclical, occurring approximately 28 days apart. The best course
of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of
C:YES_DEAR because ultimately you will have to use the APOLOGIZE command
before the system will return to normal anyway.

Remember, the system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for
all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but tends to require very high
maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs such as
Clean_and_Sweep 3.0, Cook_It 1.5 (which replaces Burn_It 1.0) and Do_Bills
4.2. You must however be very careful how you use these programs.

Improper use will cause the system to launch the programNag_Nag 9.5. Once
this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0
should this happen.

Best of luck.
Tech Support

------------------
Vector Force Power Hosting
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Old 04-09-2001, 03:27 PM   #2
Keller
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 158
LOL
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Old 04-09-2001, 03:54 PM   #3
aprilkorova
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: SoCal
Posts: 649
LOL that's a good one.
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Old 04-09-2001, 04:32 PM   #4
Heather4fun
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Pittsburgh,Pa.U.S.A.
Posts: 147
Haha, that was funny.....

------------------
http://heather4fun.com
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Old 04-09-2001, 05:09 PM   #5
Lord Assmore
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: The Periphery
Posts: 588


[This message has been edited by Lord Assmore (edited 04-09-2001).]
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Old 04-09-2001, 05:46 PM   #6
sweetjimmy
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Harlem, NY, U.S.A
Posts: 777
What? I don't get it. What kind of operating system is this? Is it like Linux of something?
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Old 04-09-2001, 11:14 PM   #7
PimPaDelic
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 123
Haha Sweet...Pretty Funny
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Old 04-09-2001, 11:15 PM   #8
PimPaDelic
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 123
Sweet Jimmy, You Have 420 Posts...Thats A Good # In The Burn Outs World.

[This message has been edited by PimPaDelic (edited 04-09-2001).]
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Old 07-17-2005, 11:48 PM   #9
V_RocKs
Damn Right I Kiss Ass!
 
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Cowtown, USA
Posts: 32,409
Snoooozzzzzzeee
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Old 07-18-2005, 12:20 AM   #10
reed_4
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Posts: 9,640
LoL. that was funny. thanks buddy.
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Old 07-18-2005, 12:22 AM   #11
naugthygUrL
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Posts: 3,448
lol thanks
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Old 07-18-2005, 01:03 AM   #12
Stacey_JoinRightNow
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Location: Montreal
Posts: 6,269
Very funny...
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Old 07-18-2005, 02:07 AM   #13
je_rome
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Posts: 6,846
hahaha! that was hilarious!
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Old 07-18-2005, 02:41 AM   #14
PixeLs
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 11,922
A good way to start this monday morning dude! Thanks.
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