Abbot and Costello buying and selling computers

[neverlearn]

Remember Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First?" routine? This is even

funnier if you are old enough to remember seeing the original "Who's on

First". Enjoy this updated version!!!


Premise: Costello Wants to buy a Computer from Abbott . . .


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?


COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking

about

buying a computer.


ABBOTT: Mac?


COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.


ABBOTT: Your computer?


COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


ABBOTT: Mac?


COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.


ABBOTT: What about Windows?


COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?


ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?



COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?


ABBOTT: Wallpaper.


COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.


ABBOTT: Software for Windows?


COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write

proposals,

track expenses and run my business. What have you got?


ABBOTT: Office.


COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?


ABBOTT: I just did.


COSTELLO: You just did what?


ABBOTT: Recommended something.


COSTELLO: You recommended something?


ABBOTT: Yes.


COSTELLO: For my office?


ABBOTT: Yes.


COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?


ABBOTT: Office.


COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!


ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.


COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, let's just

say, I'm

sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?


ABBOTT: Word.


COSTELLO: What word?


ABBOTT: Word in Office.


COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.


ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.


COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?


ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."


COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some

straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?


ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.


COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of

your

business. Just tell me what I need!


ABBOTT: Real One.


COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 and 4. Can

I

watch them?


ABBOTT: Of course.


COSTELLO: Great, with what?


ABBOTT: Real One.


COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I

do?


ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."


COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?


ABBOTT: The blue "1."


COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?


ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.


COSTELLO: What word?


ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.


COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!


ABBOTT: No, just one. but its the most popular Word in the world.


COSTELLO: It is?


ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It

pretty

much wiped out all the other Words.


COSTELLO: And that word is real one?


ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even Part

of

Office.


COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial

bookkeeping? You

have anything I can track my money with?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?


ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.


COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?


ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.


COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?


ABBOTT: One copy.


COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?


ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.


COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!


(LATER)


COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??


ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........