<Fashykekes> Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

:1orglaugh

<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

LOL

<kisama> i'll have dsl too, by this week, brett
<kisama> cockface is hooking me up
<kisama> :)
<Guilty|> Thats really nice of your mom to do

<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns

<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

These are soooo funny!

fucking dumbass

n e r d b 5: wait a minute. 'my' b-days on 31 may... lol i was thinking aboiut my uncle hehe
e l i t e m r p: umm how could you confuse your own bday with your uncle?
n e r d b 5: their so close together hehe

<juji> but i'd have to learn japanese to play half of its games :)
<z2-Fool> you don't speak japanese?
<z2-Fool> and you're a slope?
<z2-Fool> :)
<juji> :(
<juji> i'd cry
<juji> but i cant fit tears through my chinky eyeslits

<HalfShadow> Oh yeah. Ever see something so bad you wanted to go into fetal position?
<seventhcrow> spice world

<FoxyRoxy> i fucking fried my cd player badly i plugged it into this outlet that had tape on it (god knows why) i didnt even see any tape and it set on fire

<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
<hokage> *cries*, scary....

Not funny, but cute :)

<Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
<Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
<Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate driver.
<Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
<Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

<Rountree> Wake. Birth. Grow. Pain. Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. Kid. Grow. Teen. Grow. Up. Fall. Up. Crush. Meet. Kiss. Date. Buy. Love. Sex. Ring. Join. Smile. Kids. School. Dance. Hug. Hold. Rift. Leave. Hate. Gone. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Life. Ha. Bang. Dead.
<+MegamanX2K> Shut.
<+MegamanX2K> The.
<+MegamanX2K> Fuck.
<+MegamanX2K> Up.

this is wrong on so many levels lol

<wild-> so a guy goes to the drugstore, he says 'i need some condoms for my 11 year old daughter' druggist says 'your daughters sexually active at age 11?' he says 'nah she just lies there like her mother'

<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?

<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall

<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...

<glacial> I love school
<glacial> Today our term paper due date's set
<glacial> Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member.
<glacial> So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
<glacial> She waits for the laughs to die down and says:
<glacial> "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"

[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?

:1orglaugh

<reo4k> just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc
* luckyb1tch has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven)
<ibaN`reo4k[ex]> that's gotta hurt
<r`heaven> :(

<ckx> i've got nothing against homos
<ckx> as long as they don't fuck me or touch me
<ckx> they're alright
<gb> what if they cum on you
<ckx> that's a grey area

<benja> A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question
asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
food shortage in the rest of the world?"
<benja> The survey was a huge failure...
<benja> In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
<benja> In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
<benja> In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
<benja> In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
<benja> In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
<benja> In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
<benja> And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant

<FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
<FM{FF1}> ...men.
<FM{FF1}> GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.

(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

<MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIM
<mat|t> rofl
<MortalKombat> omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!

-[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH FUCK ME
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY SHIT
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE

<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all rograms you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

<ck2k> i tap her car's bumper
<ck2k> and she has this estimate
<ck2k> 200 bucks
<ck2k> fuck you
<ck2k> for 200 bucks i can hire someone to kill your bitch ass

<Nikari> $h1t
<Ferrari> |=uc|<
<Ferrari> |317C|-|
<Nikari> |= |_| < |<
<Ferrari> haha
<Ferrari> |3][¯|¯c|-|
<Nikari> |> /- // ||
<DragonPhoeniX> ( () ( |< 5 |_| ( |< ][ || (¬ |) () |_| ( |-| |= |3 / (¬
<Ferrari> ...
<Nikari> D=
<Nikari> I think we've been owned
<Ferrari> retardedly owned

:1orglaugh

#176311 +(74)- [X]

<Hatamoto> IRC is like one giant round of intellectual bukakke ;)

Alex: I'm so goth even my chocobos are black.

\this is just plain wrong

#4330 +(54)- [X]

<Booyah> what's 18 inches long and makes women scream?
<Gen|us> a black mans cock
<ismell> you toenails ?
<Booyah> crib death

(MolsonCanadian) http://www.cnn.com/2002/EDUCATION/11...uiz/index.html
(TheOneShamrock) 70 percent cannot find New Jersey, 49 percent cannot find New York, 11 percent cannot find the United States <--- THOSE are the scary ones!
(anticimex) ROFL doesn't the US have schools?
(anticimex) Only 71% can find the pacific ocean!
(Moik) Lord save us if THAT'S the Protector of the Free World.
(Moik) "Quick, they need our help guarding freedom in Malaysia!"
(Moik) Later in Amsterdam...
(Moik) "Malaysians sure smoke alot of hash!"

:1orglaugh

<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK

:1orglaugh

(On September 11th)
<Sigma> shit, there is no way I'm going to a public vigil tonight
<Sigma> public crying and weeping does nothing for me
<Sigma> but I know someone will rope me into going
<Kevyn> Public vigil? Fuck that, I'm going to the strip club.
<Sigma> Kev: do your patriotic duty
<Sigma> don't let the terrorists win
<waffle> Kevyn: everyone has to remember in their own way, BRAVO!
<Kevyn> Word.
<Kevyn> I'll build a NEW tower.
<Kevyn> IN MY PANTS!

best so far :)

strangeanya: yah he's a prick...
porter is a dick: men are such pigs
porter is a dick: show me your tits

that's my favourite site in the world :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

awesome site!!!:thumbsup :thumbsup :thumbsup

#1293 +(264)- [X]

<l0g1c> Does giving handjobs make you go blind??
<ApOkAliPs> HAHA
<ApOkAliPs> well...
<ApOkAliPs> depends where you aim it...


#1302 +(284)- [X]

<|Chris> okay...here's one
<|Chris> what's the worst crime you've ever commited?
<Guilty> I once taped a Golden Girls episode with only implyed oral permission and not expressed written permission

#1059 +(299)- [X]

<blazemore> linux gives good blow jobs
<MadHatter> I thought your moms name was nancy?

#1745 +(105)- [X]

(nexxai) [poopfart]: can you fart and poo at the same time?
(poopfart) yes
(poopfart) i can
(poopfart) their called accidents

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

:1orglaugh

this one is my favourite :1orglaugh

haha. oh my god! thats funny.

:1orglaugh

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fucked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in shit. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

Oh DAMN, these are my favourites.. I seriously fell of my chair laughing soo damn hard :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

some funny quotes
:1orglaugh

<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
<peng> ...
<peng> what?
<VolteFace`> oh shit
<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP shit

That's fucked up!

har! :1orglaugh

<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. :(

hahahahahahahaha

funny thread

#24333 +(37)- [X]

<Maven`> I'm god in 8 channels of the 8 i'm in. I own 228 sluts.
Preach> you're a fucking dork who needs to get laid
<Preach> nuff said
<Maven`> true

omg

<Cruzin3434> member me fag boy
<zaim> depends
<Cruzin3434> you fucked my grandpa the other day
<zaim> nah dude
<zaim> wasn't me
<zaim> wait
<zaim> what day was it

I'm addicted to bash.org :winkwink:

<Squizzle> WARNING: DO NOT LET DR. MARIO TOUCH YOUR GENITALS. HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR.

sonotayuppy: hey now, I?ve gotten my ass mugged at gunpoint before
hoggman: watergun point
sonotayuppy: no
sonotayuppy: thirty eight point
sonotayuppy: the "poor man?s machete"
hoggman: you shoulda kung foo'd his ass
sonotayuppy: I wish I knew kung fu
sonotayuppy: do you know kung fu?
hoggman: I?m a 7th degree black belt
sonotayuppy: seventh degree? That sounds rather made up
hoggman: you dare question master thomas???
sonotayuppy: yes, I do dare question master thomas
sonotayuppy: as he sounds made up as well
hoggman: OHHHH
sonotayuppy: since when are you a master?
hoggman: SHINTO HIRUKEN MASTER PINTO THORAX KICK
sonotayuppy: what in the name of jebus was that?
hoggman: you are paralized from the eyebrows down
sonotayuppy: well I?ll be damned, you?re right
hoggman: here eat this sausage