How do you handle finances with your spouse?

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  • Drake
    Hello world!
    • Mar 2003
    • 12508

    #1

    How do you handle finances with your spouse?

    Groceries, mortgage, savings.

    Do you pool all your money together and make payments that way. Do you have joint bank accounts or seperate (or do you have a secret seperate account)? Do each of you have complete access to all the accounts you have?

    Trust is important and so is some independence. How do you balance this in the financial aspect of your relationship?
  • Thrawn$
    Confirmed User
    • Apr 2002
    • 4596

    #2
    never never give your girl an access to your bank account
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    • Drake
      Hello world!
      • Mar 2003
      • 12508

      #3
      Originally posted by Thrawn$
      never never give your girl an access to your bank account
      Just going by what you've read and observed or have you had a bad experience and 'learned your lesson'?

      Comment

      • Drake
        Hello world!
        • Mar 2003
        • 12508

        #4
        Also... would the more money you make affect how the finances are divided or designated?

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        • neewwman
          Confirmed User
          • Jan 2002
          • 1737

          #5
          Everything's joint.

          In California it's all community property anyway whether you keep it separate or not.

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          • reynold
            Too lazy to set a custom title
            • Oct 2002
            • 51271

            #6
            i learned my lesson well... just dont give her any acess to your account. safe!

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            • Semi-Retired-Dave
              Too lazy to set a custom title
              • Apr 2004
              • 11190

              #7
              Originally posted by Thrawn$
              never never give your girl an access to your bank account
              The Most important thing you will ever need to know right here.

              never never give your girl an access to your bank account
              -Thrawn$ 2004

              Very well said Buddy



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              • Drake
                Hello world!
                • Mar 2003
                • 12508

                #8
                I guess this is a result of our modern way of living (high infidelity and 50% marriages ending in divorce). I don't have stats but somehow I feel like it's uncommon nowadays for couples to share monies the way they used to.

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                • SleazeQueen
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jun 2002
                  • 634

                  #9
                  Community property here too and now that we're married, it's mine!!! MINE!! ALL MINE!! ahem.. I mean, we pool our money into joint accounts. His retirement and my IRA are separate. We each have separate investment portfolios, but at some point we may combine them. Just now it's easier to keep them as they have been since we met.

                  The only account that's different is my business account. He doesn't have access to it. He doesn't really work for me so he doesn't need it. Does that count as "secret" money since he doesn't know what the balances are in the bus accounts? Then again, he doesn't know what the balance is in the joint checking account either.
                  Bush can no more fire Rove than Charlie McCarthy could fire Edgar Bergen.

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                  • mattyboy
                    Confirmed User
                    • Mar 2003
                    • 1070

                    #10
                    never never give your girl an access to your bank account
                    I should have took that advice years ago

                    Comment

                    • Drake
                      Hello world!
                      • Mar 2003
                      • 12508

                      #11
                      Originally posted by SleazeQueen
                      Community property here too and now that we're married, it's mine!!! MINE!! ALL MINE!! ahem.. I mean, we pool our money into joint accounts. His retirement and my IRA are separate. We each have separate investment portfolios, but at some point we may combine them. Just now it's easier to keep them as they have been since we met.

                      The only account that's different is my business account. He doesn't have access to it. He doesn't really work for me so he doesn't need it. Does that count as "secret" money since he doesn't know what the balances are in the bus accounts? Then again, he doesn't know what the balance is in the joint checking account either.
                      I'm terrified for your husband

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                      • Bigjohn
                        Confirmed User
                        • Feb 2003
                        • 1118

                        #12
                        I make it...
                        She spends it.... ALL!

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                        • stocktrader23
                          Let's do some business.
                          • Jan 2003
                          • 18781

                          #13
                          I don't make my wife work so don't have to worry with that.


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                          • pornguy
                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                            • Mar 2003
                            • 62910

                            #14
                            My ex took 20k and the house and the dog.


                            Fuck the money, fuck the house, but I was pissed about the dog.


                            My new wife and I split all accounts and money.
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                            • Chris
                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                              • May 2003
                              • 27880

                              #15
                              if you are in a trustworthy relashonship then ofcourse they other partner woul dhave access and my money would her money and her money will be my money... Its not like she is going to go out and spend all of it without asking as she would understand that bills need to get paid and the money is left there for a reason....

                              I dont see how people can say " never put a female on your bank account " ... almost seems as if you guys never been in a trusting relashonship .... Your loss i guess


                              it must really suck ass to have to lay next to a women you dont even trust with your familys money
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                              • SpikeHeel
                                Confirmed User
                                • Oct 2003
                                • 1531

                                #16
                                joint account. it's all about budgeting.

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                                • wdsguy
                                  Ryde or Die
                                  • Dec 2002
                                  • 19568

                                  #17
                                  we have a joint account but also a seperate account

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                                  • sean416
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Feb 2004
                                    • 3633

                                    #18
                                    When I get married it will be completely 50/50 and we'll both have access to everything.

                                    Right now I have a "live in" girlfriend and I make ALOT more then she does, so she gives me the money she makes and she has a budget for whatever she needs like clothes, hair, make up and whatever else. Sometimes I feel like a pimp taking her money, but then again she doesnt pay rent, groceries or anything so im more like a wise sugar daddy.

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                                    • Lonny
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Jun 2003
                                      • 3539

                                      #19
                                      Just open a second bank account some were else. Problem solved.

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                                      • Paul Waters
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Mar 2003
                                        • 4402

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by neewwman
                                        Everything's joint.

                                        In California it's all community property anyway whether you keep it separate or not.
                                        Can you enter into a contract so that that is not the case?


                                        Paul

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                                        • Paul Waters
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Mar 2003
                                          • 4402

                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by sean416
                                          When I get married it will be completely 50/50 and we'll both have access to everything.

                                          Right now I have a "live in" girlfriend and I make ALOT more then she does, so she gives me the money she makes and she has a budget for whatever she needs like clothes, hair, make up and whatever else. Sometimes I feel like a pimp taking her money, but then again she doesnt pay rent, groceries or anything so im more like a wise sugar daddy.
                                          Dude, just remember when you reach the two year mark, you are common law.

                                          If you split up after that, she will get a lot.

                                          Unless you think you can break the odds, and you two will last forever, you may want talk to a lawyer.

                                          Been there. Done that.


                                          Paul

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                                          • Jakke PNG
                                            ex-TeenGodFather
                                            • Nov 2001
                                            • 20306

                                            #22
                                            My girl has a regular job and pays all of our bills. I just fuck around and buy nice things for myself with my porn money.
                                            true story.
                                            ..and I'm off.

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                                            • phogirl69
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Jul 2001
                                              • 3330

                                              #23
                                              Dude, I'm a female and when I get married I want my own SEPARATE bank account, and the bills we be split in half EXACTLY.

                                              For the guys (and this is to no one in particular here, but just in general) don't even FLATTER yourself, and think that I would actually even WANT to share you bank account or share your money. PLEASE. I have my own money, I wouldn't want it if you handed it to me on a silver platter. I hate people who think they are all that and think that I even need their money or that I am even INTERESTED in their finances, because frankly I don't. All I know is I can pay my share of the bills and they better pay their half up too or else...

                                              I also would like to keep finances separate because sometimes I spend a lot of money on stuff like makeup and clothes and I don't want the dude to know how much I actually spend on myself on superficial stuff. But it's all MY money that I made MYSELF, so I spend it however I see fit. He can spend his money however he sees fit too, I wouldn't even CARE to want his money or share an account with him. PLEASE. Some guys think that all women are gold diggers and want to share their bank account so bad. Pls get over yourself. I even have no problem at all splitting bills exactly in half on a date, I don't need nothing from NOBODY.
                                              Last edited by phogirl69; 09-17-2004, 03:06 AM.

                                              Comment

                                              • infecto
                                                Confirmed User
                                                • May 2003
                                                • 1697

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by JupZChris
                                                if you are in a trustworthy relashonship then ofcourse they other partner woul dhave access and my money would her money and her money will be my money... Its not like she is going to go out and spend all of it without asking as she would understand that bills need to get paid and the money is left there for a reason....

                                                I dont see how people can say " never put a female on your bank account " ... almost seems as if you guys never been in a trusting relashonship .... Your loss i guess


                                                it must really suck ass to have to lay next to a women you dont even trust with your familys money
                                                Yeah for real man if your in a marriage then I would hope your with something you truely love and trust. Trust enough that you can give them access and they won't be dumb enough to spend more then is needed. Only thing I am for is a prenup in marriage. I don't care how much I love someone but I don't thin kanyone should come out with anything more then equal split of what was made during the marriage.

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                                                • Herb Kornfield
                                                  Is on the 1
                                                  • Sep 2002
                                                  • 4996

                                                  #25
                                                  Me and my wife have several joints accounts for our finances for the house, kids, cars, etc.

                                                  She has a seperate savings account for herself to do whatever with.

                                                  I have seperate business accounts that are strictly for biz use.

                                                  Our retirement funds are both seperate since we've had both from before we met.

                                                  My wife is a wizard with managing money, accurate recordkeeping and overall cash management. Without her i'd be broke

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                                                  • Helix
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Feb 2002
                                                    • 6021

                                                    #26
                                                    Access DENIED !

                                                    She has access to the accounts only when I die. Untill then she is given a check every month to cover the bills. I arrived at this solution the hard way. Some people just can't, and shouldn't handle finances.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • JesseD
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Nov 2002
                                                      • 473

                                                      #27
                                                      Man, If you are married you shouldn't even be asking that question. The bottom line is that if you trust someone enough to (cough) spend the rest of your life with them, then EVERYTHING is joint.

                                                      End of story.

                                                      That doesn't mean that you don't set up budgets for different expenses that you each follow... but certainly you can't deny her or yourself the ability to see and use all accounts (two cents).
                                                      Last edited by JesseD; 09-17-2004, 05:43 AM.


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                                                      • austinth
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Jul 2002
                                                        • 1770

                                                        #28
                                                        Originally posted by phogirl69
                                                        Dude, I'm a female and when I get married I want my own SEPARATE bank account, and the bills we be split in half EXACTLY.

                                                        For the guys (and this is to no one in particular here, but just in general) don't even FLATTER yourself, and think that I would actually even WANT to share you bank account or share your money. PLEASE. I have my own money, I wouldn't want it if you handed it to me on a silver platter. I hate people who think they are all that and think that I even need their money or that I am even INTERESTED in their finances, because frankly I don't. All I know is I can pay my share of the bills and they better pay their half up too or else...

                                                        I also would like to keep finances separate because sometimes I spend a lot of money on stuff like makeup and clothes and I don't want the dude to know how much I actually spend on myself on superficial stuff. But it's all MY money that I made MYSELF, so I spend it however I see fit. He can spend his money however he sees fit too, I wouldn't even CARE to want his money or share an account with him. PLEASE. Some guys think that all women are gold diggers and want to share their bank account so bad. Pls get over yourself. I even have no problem at all splitting bills exactly in half on a date, I don't need nothing from NOBODY.
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                                                        • NinjaSteve
                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                          • Dec 2003
                                                          • 11089

                                                          #29
                                                          For a relationship to work there has to be trust, but a lack of stress is always good too. I think it works best to treat it like a business. X% goes into the main account that you share and pay bills with. X goes to you. X goes to her.

                                                          Or if you make a different amount and that bothers you, you keep seperate accounts for each of you and 1 account that's joint. You put $X into that account every month no matter your pay (example: $2k each, no matter what each of you make). Then you keep the rest and she keeps the rest.

                                                          I've run into too many issues in my life where she gets upset when I buy a computer, or digital camera, or TV, or Gamecube, or just bet it all on black. WTF. It's my money. It gets to be very stressful when somebody is seeing what you're spending money on all the time and getting upset about it even if it's your % of the money (or all of the money is yours).

                                                          If one of you stays at home to watch children, you can still do seperate accounts and split up the main check properly because in my opinion a stay at home parent is doing that as their full time job.
                                                          ...

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                                                          • Rochard
                                                            Jägermeister Test Pilot
                                                            • Dec 2001
                                                            • 75733

                                                            #30
                                                            Everything is joint, money grows on trees, and she can spend what she wants as long as she continues to put out every night.
                                                            Herschel Savage
                                                            Brooklyn, NY

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                                                            • aSStig
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Apr 2004
                                                              • 1102

                                                              #31
                                                              hmmmmmphhh . . ..

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                                                              • media
                                                                Confirmed Moneymaker
                                                                • Apr 2002
                                                                • 9853

                                                                #32
                                                                We both have seperate accounts and we have a joint account. Keeps us both happy.. My spending far outweighs hers, so I don't want to dick with pulling money out of the shared account and having it create problems.. Has been like this since day one with her... She's great..
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