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#1

Attn: Jenna Jameson....

07-05-2001, 01:29 PM

Hi Jenna, you sent for me? Someone said you wanted to make out with me or something like that, so here I am.

Umm, you did say that right?

Heres my pic, Im the sexy guy with the big head.

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#2

07-05-2001, 01:44 PM

Machine... You are such a TOOL!

No One
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#3

07-05-2001, 01:45 PM

Shhh! Youre ruining it!

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#4

07-05-2001, 01:47 PM

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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#5

07-05-2001, 01:51 PM

I heard her say that Machine.

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#6

07-05-2001, 01:52 PM

Machine stay away from Jenna or you'll face fatal issues!
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#7

07-05-2001, 01:55 PM

See! Rodent heard her say it!

Woo Hoo Im like gonna make out or somethin.

Fatal Issues? Does that mean you're like going to kill me or something? To be honest man, death doesnt scare me... Ive been married.

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#8

07-05-2001, 01:57 PM

So how many cfm of hot air can you cycle thru that big head?!

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#9

07-05-2001, 01:58 PM

If I wasnt so hungover and nauseous right now, I would come back with a retort so witty it would make your head spin!

But "Youre a poophead" will have to suffice for the moment! lol

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#10

07-05-2001, 02:02 PM

I forgot you're hungover so I'll have to accept the lame retort. Besides I'm a tuff old lady and take whatever you can dish out!

<font color="#505050">

[This message has been edited by Gemini (edited 07-05-2001).]

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#11

07-05-2001, 02:04 PM

I appreciate the reprieve. I promise to make it up to you one of these days with some incredibly witty verbal bashing. Or I could just call ya "Tuff Old Lady" which was always a hit with my wife too. No wonder she ditched me. lol

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#12

07-05-2001, 02:07 PM

Only ONE eh? Well I have enough men under my belt that thought they were witty and they all got ditched too. But tuff old lady wasn't anything to get upset about. lmbo

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#13

07-05-2001, 02:11 PM

Oh Im definitly witty. When you have a head my size, you have to learn to fight and be witty.

So Im a fighter AND a smartass.

Luckily Im good in the sack too, so it all works out.

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#14

07-05-2001, 02:30 PM

omg, you didn't! Say you didn't!
lol!

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#15

07-05-2001, 02:34 PM

Brian, you may be my boss, but sometimes the employee can teach the employer a thing or two.

Todays lesson: There is no limit to how low I will sink to make a jackass of myself in front of a woman. You should try also, since you are also of the short and cranially advantaged persuasion like I am.

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#16

07-05-2001, 02:41 PM

Oh thats great for you Machine! It took me 20 years but I finally found a good one that can and does keep up with me. And yep, I dug in to the shorter guy pool to find him. All those years looking for 6'+ were a waste.

Now behave for your boss before he gives you a time out in the corner. lol Someome like Jenna would stop your heart permanently within 2 mins.

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#17

07-05-2001, 02:45 PM

Good for you Gemini... finding someone special is good.

However having to pay them is bad.

As for Jenna stopping my heart in two minutes... why? What would she be doing the other minute and a half after Im done? lol

Just kidding, me strong like bull.

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#18

07-05-2001, 02:45 PM

Machine ... aka "Machine May" from the MMA forum?

Good to see you hear bro. Now stop harassing Jenna!

Needs some really great hosting? Black Seven

note: I do not work for Blackseven... Im just grateful for their kick ass hosting...so quit bothering them when I hurt your feelings... pussy
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#19

07-05-2001, 02:48 PM

The one and only!! It is me, the famous big headed Sexy Bitch!

Who are you?

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#20

07-05-2001, 02:49 PM

Don't know much about them there big words yur usin and all but I'll have to agree with Eric_ada_RedEyes' first post, hehe.

And because I know you outside of the Internet, I'm already well aware of how you are able to make an ass out of yourself. So thankfully, because of you, I know how NOT to act.

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#21

07-05-2001, 03:08 PM

Originally posted by Machine:
The one and only!! It is me, the famous big headed Sexy Bitch!

Who are you?

I am many names on that board...most of them seem to have been banned though. I tend to break the rules and post links to porn, and slander other OG members.

Needs some really great hosting? Black Seven

note: I do not work for Blackseven... Im just grateful for their kick ass hosting...so quit bothering them when I hurt your feelings... pussy
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#22

07-05-2001, 03:12 PM

Dude you just described half the forum! lol

Are we friends or foes? lol

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#23

07-05-2001, 03:13 PM

Brian, Ive seen you being a jackass with my own two eyes, so give it up! lol

Ive seen you do shit that still gives me nightmares.

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#24

07-05-2001, 03:22 PM

ok, I'm back.

I'm juuuuuust about to print checks for the last period. Machine, what was that you were saying?

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#25

07-05-2001, 03:25 PM

Checks? Did you say checks?

Umm, nothing Sir. Im just working hard Sir.

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#26

07-05-2001, 03:31 PM

btw, now that you've brought it to my attention, you do have quite a big noggin.

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#27

07-05-2001, 03:33 PM

Have you seen your head lately "Charlie Brown"?!?

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#28

07-05-2001, 03:35 PM

your next check it looks like is for 37.50.

that sound about right to you?

(so many numbers to deal with...they get lost in all this head space I've got)

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#29

07-05-2001, 03:37 PM

HOLY CRAP I GOT A RAISE!!!

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#30

07-05-2001, 03:39 PM

Shit, good catch Machine! Now I know why I hired ya!

I knew that sounded a bit much, and after re-checking, it turns out that you're getting your normal $11.45 paycheck.

Lesson for the day: Learn to quit while you're ahead.

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#31

07-05-2001, 03:41 PM

You're too smart for me bossman.

*Note to self - Post picture I took of Brian buying a penis enlarger while he thought no one was looking*

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#32

07-05-2001, 03:42 PM

Hey Linus! Lay off Charlie Brown or I call ya up with Inna Gadda De Vidi (spelling totaled) playing on a stereo that would scare you, in the background! That'd fix your hangover!

Btw, no one has challenged you for the largest haid! Not many want their claim to fame as being a fathaid eh? lol

Brian, backcharge him 10% for each post that follows in this thread from him. Send it to the Snoopy Foundation for the reduction in large heads from over drinking or more commonly known as not knowing their limits.

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#33

07-05-2001, 03:45 PM

*Note to self: continue to 'misplace' Machine's check for the next 12 pay periods and then watch how fast a straight man drops to his knees* (should be common practice for you by now anyway)

lol, get back to work ya damn slacker!

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#34

07-05-2001, 03:45 PM

Oh I know my limits.... I just know that I usually surpass them early in the evening. Thus ensues a drunken night of jackassedness.

Is that a word?

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#35

07-05-2001, 03:46 PM

LOL@Gemini!

Thanks for the back-up hon!

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#36

07-05-2001, 03:46 PM

Machine.. you best watch Brian... he deducts for those who don't do "special favors" for him. Hope he doesn't give YOU the same job requirements he TRIED to give me.........

Brian... have you hit Machine up for those yet? Something about licking you............. well......... *blushing*..... THERE??

rotfl

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#37

07-05-2001, 03:46 PM

If you misplace my checks Id have to get down on my knees to pay rent anyway ya bastard!

Must remember to stop insulting the man that feeds me.... at least while he's looking.

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#38

07-05-2001, 03:49 PM

Hint from an ex dancer that made more by drinking more... plain boiled spaghetti, 1/4 pound of it 30 mins or so before imbibing. It helps keep it soaked up. NO sauces or anything. Less hangover as well. The bill for that hint is in the mail to Brian to directly pay since fatheads generally forget their bills. lmFao

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#39

07-05-2001, 03:49 PM

Tam, thanks for the warning. I wasnt sure what he meant when he mentioned some stuff about a bonus, some duct tape, whipped cream, a goat, KY, and some thumb tacks... now Im onto him and his twisted games.

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#40

07-05-2001, 03:49 PM

There you go Machine....... just be good while he is watching....... and you will be fine, when he ain't looking, SHOW YOUR ASS!!!!!!

And yes he is as twisted as they come...... I could tell YOU a thing or two about that one.

Tam

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#41

07-05-2001, 03:51 PM

Gemini I cant believe you would call me a fathead after all we've meant to each other.

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#42

07-05-2001, 03:52 PM

Tam, did you just ask to see my ass?!? lol jk

Oh, and thanks for the pasta tip Gemini. I will have to try that.

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#43

07-05-2001, 03:53 PM

Tam,

those requirements are only for the ladies on my staff, hehe. Actually, I shouldn't even joke about it. With my luck, I'd be up on "virtual sexual harrassment" charges quicker than I could blink, lol.

Machine,

I'm always looking.

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#44

07-05-2001, 03:53 PM

I wouldn't if you were as good as your brags. My bad for believing someone so young tho! When will you be 18 anyhow?!

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#45

07-05-2001, 03:56 PM

hahaha everybody answered on the thread except Jenna....lol !

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#46

07-05-2001, 03:57 PM

Gemini, I just fell in love with ya sweetie! Im 27 and feeling old so the 18 year old comment just made me your biggest fan.

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#47

07-05-2001, 03:59 PM

SABAI, I know this sucks! I ask for Jenna, and I end up talking to my damn boss!

Where is Jenna?!? I thought I was gonna make out with her?!?

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#48

07-05-2001, 04:00 PM

Machine,

while you were busy showin yer ass, I've been training Jenna to take over your position at WebmasterCommerce.

Don't worry, I still have 'other' work for you. hehe

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#49

07-05-2001, 04:00 PM

Originally posted by Brian:

Machine,

I'm always looking.

I know you are, and I wish you would stop leaving nose prints on my window.

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#50

07-05-2001, 04:01 PM

It's not a nose print.

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