Asshole!! - GoFuckYourself.com

Turboface · 08-30-2004, 08:37 PM

Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.
About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down
in the bottom of our chests. About that special feeling we get in the
cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle
area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the
colon, we don't know.

(Sung)
I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.
I'm your average white suburbanite slob.
I like football and porno and books about war.
I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.

My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
My feet on my table...and a cuban cigar.

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
no way
No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.

I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat,
I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.

I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...

NAAAAH!

I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole

(Spoken)
Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado
Convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow
interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm
gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour, getting 1 mile
per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's
in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when
I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth
on the American Flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers
right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can
do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why Two
words: Nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Germany, Romania, they
can have all the democracy they want...they can have a big democracy
cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make
a lick of difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not
dead, he's frozen! And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're
gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know
why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15
million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be.
I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Lee Marvin

and Sam Peckinpaw

and a case of whisky

and drive to Texas...(HEY, HEY HEY!>

Why don't you shut up and sing the song, pal?

(Sung)
I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf
Thoomph A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo

(Spoken)
I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it

****************************************

Download the video of Denis Leary's 'Asshole'. It's funny as hell.

Dagwolf · 08-30-2004, 10:33 PM

Got links?

Floridiot · 08-30-2004, 10:34 PM

dennis leary rulzs

kmanrox · 08-30-2004, 10:36 PM

i love dat song!

Nanda · 08-30-2004, 10:36 PM

I think that's a great song! Like him as a comedian!

Corona · 08-30-2004, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Floridiot
dennis leary rulzs

He is pretty funny but I can't forgive him for stealing from Bill Hicks.

08-30-2004, 08:37 PM	#1
Turboface Back in Black Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 9,976	Asshole!! Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream. About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know. (Sung) I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job. I'm your average white suburbanite slob. I like football and porno and books about war. I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor. My wife and my job, my kids and my car. My feet on my table...and a cuban cigar. But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested no way No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane, While people behind me are going insane. I'm an asshole I'm an asshole I use public toilets and I piss on the seat, I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?" I'm an asshole I'm an asshole Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces, While handicapped people make handicapped faces. I'm an asshole I'm an asshole Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song Ranting and raving and carrying on Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong... NAAAAH! I'm an asshole I'm an asshole (Spoken) Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado Convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth on the American Flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why Two words: Nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a big democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead, he's frozen! And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Lee Marvin and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of whisky and drive to Texas...(HEY, HEY HEY!> Why don't you shut up and sing the song, pal? (Sung) I'm an asshole I'm an asshole A S-S H-O L-E Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf Thoomph A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom Oooooooo (Spoken) I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it ************************************** Download the video of Denis Leary's 'Asshole'. It's funny as hell. __________________ Search Engine Optimization Services for Adult Sites**

08-30-2004, 10:33 PM	#2
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	Got links? __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

08-30-2004, 10:34 PM	#3
Floridiot Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: fort lauderdale Posts: 1,346	dennis leary rulzs __________________ Need custom Tshirts? i provide quality shirts, screen printing, and personalized labels with your logo. For a catalog email me at: [email protected]

08-30-2004, 10:36 PM	#4
kmanrox aka K-Man Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Gutter Posts: 29,292	i love dat song! __________________ Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor

08-30-2004, 10:36 PM	#5
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	I think that's a great song! Like him as a comedian! __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!