GOD and THE GAYS - GoFuckYourself.com

AnalProbe · 08-29-2004, 07:35 AM

(Scene: The Heavenly Real Estate Office.)

The Landlord is cheerily rounding up a covey of blazing comets that have skittered under Queen Cassiopeia's chair. His business agent, Mr. Gabriel, enters, his Golden Trumpet in one hand and more reports from the tiny planet Earth in the other.)

THE Landlord: (to the comets) Come out from under there, you little scamps, before you set that whole galaxy on fire.

Gabriel: Excuse me, Sir, another batch of Prayer grams from your most devout Christians.

Landlord: (waving a hand) Whatever they want, Gabriel. Now where did those frisky little devils get to?

Gabriel: Yes, sir, they want you to evict 10 percent of your tenants down there. (raising the Golden Trumpet) I've never attempted a partial eviction. Shall I try?

Landlord: (looking up) What 10 percent, Gabriel?

Gabriel: The Gays, sir. Your devout Christians say they've done their utmost to keep them out of their schools, their offices, their churches and their lives, but without success. So their Prayer grams ask you to remove them from the face of the Earth.

The Landlord: By me, Gabriel, that doesn't sound very Christian. I thought they were supposed to love their neighbors.

Gabriel: Oh, they do, sir, if their neighbors are of the same color, economic bracket and sexual orientation.

The Landlord: But what harm do these gay people do?

Gabriel: I'm afraid your not seeing the big picture, sir. Gays simply don't fit into your grand design. You know, two by two, male and female? Generation after generation? The fact of the matter is that gays simply don't procreate.

The Landlord: I thought there was enough procreation down there already.

Gabriel: And they commit unspeakable acts.

The Landlord: Murder? Torture? Paving over my mountain meadows?

Gabriel: Unspeakable sexual acts, sir.

The Landlord: Ah, you mean they express their love for each other in different ways.

Gabriel: (annoyed) Really, sir, if these people were automobiles, they'd be recalled in at once. They're clearly defective.
The Landlord: (frowning) Defective, Gabriel?

Gabriel: Exactly, sir. Some essential part is missing, some vital drive is malfunctioning. Bungled wiring, a loose screw... who knows?

The Landlord: But clearly they are examples of shoddy workmanship?

Gabriel: Oh definitely, sir. And they certainly don't deserve to clutter up your little blue-green jewel of a planet a minute longer. (raising his trumpet again) Shall I evict them now?

The Landlord: (slowly) And who made these imperfect products, Gabriel?

Gabriel: Why, you did, of course, but... (he lowers the trumpet in sudden consternation) Good you, sir, I didn't mean to blaspheme. You will forgive them then?

The Landlord: (smiling) A wise philosopher said long ago, Gabriel, that if I made these sinners, it is not I who should forgive them, but they who should forgive me.

Gabriel: Well, I'm sure the gays will be glad to hear of your tolerance and generosity, sir.

The Landlord: The gays? I was talking about my most devout Christians.

mardigras · 08-29-2004, 09:29 AM

I love a joke with a majestic punchline. Nice

Reak · 08-29-2004, 09:30 AM

I love your sig

Doctor Dre · 08-29-2004, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mardigras
I love a joke with a majestic punchline. Nice

European Lee will love this one

exposed · 08-29-2004, 02:32 PM

Samantha_xox2000 · 08-29-2004, 02:33 PM

i'm too lazy to read all this

AnalProbe · 08-29-2004, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Reak
I love your sig

They're both unstoppable...

Floridiot · 08-29-2004, 03:25 PM

maxdaname · 08-29-2004, 04:03 PM

ytcracker · 08-29-2004, 04:10 PM

1 Corinthians 6

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders

that means all of you too

mardigras · 08-29-2004, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ytcracker
1 Corinthians 6

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders

that means all of you too

(what was posted is the 9th verse of 1 Corinthians, 6th chapter)

The word homosexual never appears in the bible except in modern versions where the conclusion is made that's what certain phrases meant. The King James version of that same verse says:

1 Corinthians 6

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

Might as well show the whole story with the follow-up verse:

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Now THERE goes most of your adult industry.

08-29-2004, 07:35 AM	#1
AnalProbe pain in the Ass Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 3,727	GOD and THE GAYS (Scene: The Heavenly Real Estate Office.) The Landlord is cheerily rounding up a covey of blazing comets that have skittered under Queen Cassiopeia's chair. His business agent, Mr. Gabriel, enters, his Golden Trumpet in one hand and more reports from the tiny planet Earth in the other.) THE Landlord: (to the comets) Come out from under there, you little scamps, before you set that whole galaxy on fire. Gabriel: Excuse me, Sir, another batch of Prayer grams from your most devout Christians. Landlord: (waving a hand) Whatever they want, Gabriel. Now where did those frisky little devils get to? Gabriel: Yes, sir, they want you to evict 10 percent of your tenants down there. (raising the Golden Trumpet) I've never attempted a partial eviction. Shall I try? Landlord: (looking up) What 10 percent, Gabriel? Gabriel: The Gays, sir. Your devout Christians say they've done their utmost to keep them out of their schools, their offices, their churches and their lives, but without success. So their Prayer grams ask you to remove them from the face of the Earth. The Landlord: By me, Gabriel, that doesn't sound very Christian. I thought they were supposed to love their neighbors. Gabriel: Oh, they do, sir, if their neighbors are of the same color, economic bracket and sexual orientation. The Landlord: But what harm do these gay people do? Gabriel: I'm afraid your not seeing the big picture, sir. Gays simply don't fit into your grand design. You know, two by two, male and female? Generation after generation? The fact of the matter is that gays simply don't procreate. The Landlord: I thought there was enough procreation down there already. Gabriel: And they commit unspeakable acts. The Landlord: Murder? Torture? Paving over my mountain meadows? Gabriel: Unspeakable sexual acts, sir. The Landlord: Ah, you mean they express their love for each other in different ways. Gabriel: (annoyed) Really, sir, if these people were automobiles, they'd be recalled in at once. They're clearly defective. The Landlord: (frowning) Defective, Gabriel? Gabriel: Exactly, sir. Some essential part is missing, some vital drive is malfunctioning. Bungled wiring, a loose screw... who knows? The Landlord: But clearly they are examples of shoddy workmanship? Gabriel: Oh definitely, sir. And they certainly don't deserve to clutter up your little blue-green jewel of a planet a minute longer. (raising his trumpet again) Shall I evict them now? The Landlord: (slowly) And who made these imperfect products, Gabriel? Gabriel: Why, you did, of course, but... (he lowers the trumpet in sudden consternation) Good you, sir, I didn't mean to blaspheme. You will forgive them then? The Landlord: (smiling) A wise philosopher said long ago, Gabriel, that if I made these sinners, it is not I who should forgive them, but they who should forgive me. Gabriel: Well, I'm sure the gays will be glad to hear of your tolerance and generosity, sir. The Landlord: The gays? I was talking about my most devout Christians.

08-29-2004, 09:29 AM	#2
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	I love a joke with a majestic punchline. Nice __________________ .

08-29-2004, 02:32 PM	#5
exposed Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: unknown Posts: 1,449	__________________ "I felt victimized by the Ian Eisenbergs of the world" - Mary Burger

08-29-2004, 02:33 PM	#6
Samantha_xox2000 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 866	i'm too lazy to read all this __________________ Older Women Club - Get maximum from your Granny/Mature traffic! 255 Days Cookie \| VOD \| FLVs \| CCBILL Questions? Hit me up on ICQ: 442218096

08-29-2004, 03:25 PM	#8
Floridiot Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: fort lauderdale Posts: 1,346	__________________ Need custom Tshirts? i provide quality shirts, screen printing, and personalized labels with your logo. For a catalog email me at: [email protected]

08-29-2004, 09:30 AM	#3
Reak So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: 420Calendar.com Posts: 17,920	I love your sig

08-29-2004, 04:03 PM	#9
maxdaname Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 5,193

08-29-2004, 04:10 PM	#10
ytcracker stc is the greatest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: rip sean murray Posts: 12,403	1 Corinthians 6 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders that means all of you too __________________ www.ytcracker.com \| www.digitalgangster.com i love you