Bush RESUME - Would you hire him? - GoFuckYourself.com

Paraskass · 08-26-2004, 03:32 PM

This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available next
January, and is willing to relocate.

RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost"
and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take
a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a
cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business
in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find
any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all
my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal
that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and
our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was
elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston
replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut
taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any
governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the
governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court,
I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of
over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and
effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for
the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record
for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the
all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the
all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock
market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their
jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the
members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S.
history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a
Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for most
campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time
U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign
donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best
friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy
fraud in U.S. History: Enron. My political party used Enron private
jets and corporate attorneys to ensure my success with the U.S. Supreme
Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at
Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time
and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has
been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in
history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and
refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was
revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I am trying to cut over time pay. I changed the U.S. policy to allow
convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed
more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S.
history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest
bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've
broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S.
from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspector's access to
U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees, and have refused to abide by the
Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse
United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections).
I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any
President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record
for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the
entire month of August 2001, I presided over the worst security failure
in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after
the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S.
the most hated country in the world---the largest failure of diplomacy
in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people
worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million
people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the
history of mankind. I am the first President in U.S. history to order
an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a
sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the
majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut health
care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for
active duty troops and their families in wartime. In my State of the
Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then
blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in
history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as
the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting
development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so
far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004!

CAHEK · 08-26-2004, 03:34 PM

yea why not

loverboy · 08-26-2004, 03:34 PM

what a busy day for election, but not this one, old but still funny

Aquarius · 08-26-2004, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by loverboy
what a busy day for election, but not this one, old but still funny

That one always makes me laugh

Nader · 08-26-2004, 03:35 PM

Ya sure his next job will be at the ranch milky cows and feeding sheep. What he's really good at

VeriSexy · 08-26-2004, 03:36 PM

Old news

boobmaster · 08-26-2004, 03:36 PM

How cute. Did you write this all by yourself? If liberals like you would spend as much time organizing people to vote instead of Bush bashing, Kerry might actually have a chance of winning in November. The religious right organizes and VOTES.

Jace · 08-26-2004, 03:37 PM

while i am far from a fan of dubya, here is some interesting reading

http://www.filestash.net/The_Truth.pdf

Jace · 08-26-2004, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by boobmaster
How cute. Did you write this all by yourself? If liberals like you would spend as much time organizing people to vote instead of Bush bashing, Kerry might actually have a chance of winning in November. The religious right organizes and VOTES.

do you automatically think liberal when someone posts something like this?

Rich · 08-26-2004, 03:39 PM

Sure, but did Kerry bleed or not when he pulled a man out of the river while taking enemy fire?

Rich · 08-26-2004, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JaceXXX
do you automatically think liberal when someone posts something like this?

For a guy like him there's only two ways of thinking.

BRISK · 08-26-2004, 03:41 PM

ElizaEats · 08-26-2004, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by boobmaster
How cute. Did you write this all by yourself? If liberals like you would spend as much time organizing people to vote instead of Bush bashing, Kerry might actually have a chance of winning in November. The religious right organizes and VOTES.

sad but true. still, i think i'm gonna just spend my time Bush bashing on GFY.. for the next four years

Volantt · 08-26-2004, 04:40 PM

That was a waste of time to read...

fr8 · 08-26-2004, 04:41 PM

I wouldnt hire bush to walk my fucking dog. He would get hit by a car or something with him.

maxdaname · 08-26-2004, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by loverboy
what a busy day for election, but not this one, old but still funny

Doctor Dre · 08-26-2004, 05:24 PM

Probably ... becasue he wouldn't put any of this in his resume

08-26-2004, 03:32 PM	#1
Paraskass Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: QC Posts: 5,829	Bush RESUME - Would you hire him? This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available next January, and is willing to relocate. RESUME GEORGE W. BUSH 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20520 EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available. Military: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam. College: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader. PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS: I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History: Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to ensure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I am trying to cut over time pay. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees, and have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections). I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August 2001, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world---the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind. I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice. RECORDS AND REFERENCES: All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004! __________________

08-26-2004, 03:34 PM	#2
CAHEK C.C.C.P. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Novorossiya Posts: 7,043	yea why not __________________ Pharma from True-Meds. High converting shop in Europe and USA, fast payouts via BTC !!!

08-26-2004, 03:36 PM	#6
VeriSexy Join The Royal Family Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 25,463	Old news __________________ Looking for a KICK ASS TEEN SPONSOR? Check out ROYAL CASH - THE KING OF TEEN! Incredible webmaster tools FHGs, Morphing Blog and RSS Feeds, Embedded FLV & WMV Videos. With TOP RATIO Sites like TeenStarsOnly.com - Earn $$ with our New Site & Bonus Payouts!! ATMovs.com \| iTeenVideo.com \| TeenSexMovs.com \| TeenSexMania.com

08-26-2004, 03:41 PM	#12
BRISK Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 12,240	__________________ I post on GFY so that when people ask me what I do, I can tell them that I work with the mentally retarded.

08-26-2004, 04:40 PM	#14
Volantt Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Penguin vs Devil Posts: 745	That was a waste of time to read... __________________ "Only the dead have seen the end of war." - Plato "In the abscence of orders, go find something and kill it." - Erwin Rommel "A man's worth is no greater then the worth of his ambitions." - Marcus Aurelius

08-26-2004, 03:34 PM	#3
loverboy When it rains, it pours Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 20,609	what a busy day for election, but not this one, old but still funny

08-26-2004, 03:35 PM	#5
Nader Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Los Angeles, Ca Posts: 5,086	Ya sure his next job will be at the ranch milky cows and feeding sheep. What he's really good at

08-26-2004, 03:36 PM	#7
boobmaster So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 6,185	How cute. Did you write this all by yourself? If liberals like you would spend as much time organizing people to vote instead of Bush bashing, Kerry might actually have a chance of winning in November. The religious right organizes and VOTES.

08-26-2004, 03:37 PM	#8
Jace FBOP Class Of 2013 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: bumfuck, ky Posts: 35,562	while i am far from a fan of dubya, here is some interesting reading http://www.filestash.net/The_Truth.pdf

08-26-2004, 03:39 PM	#10
Rich So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,486	Sure, but did Kerry bleed or not when he pulled a man out of the river while taking enemy fire?

08-26-2004, 04:41 PM	#15
fr8 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 5,074	I wouldnt hire bush to walk my fucking dog. He would get hit by a car or something with him. __________________ █ joesmut (a) gmail Dot com █ Full Stack Developer