Fitty perfect blowjob days :thumbsup and old thread bumps

this is just as funny now as it was first time I read it here... 9 years ago

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM (ULTIMATE)
6:00 Alarm
6:05 Wake up with massive boner
6:06 Roll over on top of horny slut and fuck her while she sleeps
6:30 Massive satisfying sh-- while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked,
buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en-route to airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine - 2 under
11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine - 4 under
2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who
also bend over a lot displaying growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin ( 1234 lbs.) - on light tackle
5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over,
naturally).
6:45 sh--, Shower and Shave
7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated;
7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy
fillet steak followed by Ice-cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you
watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies...some bending over)
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 A night cap blow job
11:45 In bed take the blue pill and a sleeping pill
11:50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to
leave the room
11:51 Fall asleep while women continue to fuck and suck you through the night until you wake up

Now that's funny!

i prefer applesmoked bacon with my morning eggs and no learjet, those are for amateurs - i'll take the gulfstream. Other than that i concur 100%.

Personal variations are welcome. I personally wouldn't have gone the golfing route for example. I'm more of a poolside lounger buying the thong bunnies drinks whilst soaking up some rays kind of guy, but to each their own.

The overall message is what's important. :D

am i the only one who thinks this is unfunny, female style humor?

I like how several bourbons in the limo takes only 15 minutes. :)

Nah. The first part was unfunny, female style humor. The second part was unfunny, white-middle-aged-man humor.