BREAKING NEWS: Life explained! - GoFuckYourself.com

iwantchixx · 08-11-2004, 01:01 PM

Life Explained

On the day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again.

On the day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Nysus · 08-11-2004, 01:04 PM

That's great.

Matt

chemicaleyes · 08-11-2004, 01:05 PM

nice

lim_joe · 08-11-2004, 01:13 PM

NoCarrier · 08-11-2004, 01:14 PM

Awwww that's sooo cute.

I love cute jokes.

dropped9 · 08-11-2004, 01:17 PM

SetTheWorldonFire · 08-11-2004, 01:18 PM

AGF · 08-11-2004, 01:20 PM

hehe nice

More Booze · 08-11-2004, 01:25 PM

if these past 20 years was the time I enjoyed myself, then I dont want to know whats next...

gornyhuy · 08-11-2004, 01:49 PM

God am I depressed now.

sickkittens · 08-11-2004, 02:00 PM

Thats's depressing in a way but true.

Just_Dave · 08-11-2004, 02:37 PM

Ross · 08-11-2004, 02:39 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA excellent !!

Firehorse · 08-11-2004, 08:31 PM

Thanks for the laugh. Very cool joke!

=^..^= · 08-11-2004, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Firehorse
Thanks for the laugh. Very cool joke!

heyyyyyyyyyyy - i told you that story last month!!!!!!

Face (o_0) · 08-11-2004, 09:04 PM

hehe... cool

EviLGuY · 08-11-2004, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by iwantchixx
Life Explained

On the day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again.

On the day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

LOL.. thats the best explanation I've heard on the subject anyways.

the_wizz · 08-11-2004, 10:59 PM

Certainly explains alot......

mardigras · 08-11-2004, 11:54 PM

That is depressing. I'm never going to have grandchildren I'm apt to start barking any time now

08-11-2004, 01:01 PM	#1
iwantchixx Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Boonies Posts: 12,860	BREAKING NEWS: Life explained! Life Explained On the day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed. On the day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed. On the day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again. On the day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You've got a deal." So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you.

08-11-2004, 01:04 PM	#2
Nysus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 7,817	That's great. Matt __________________ What name is pr0 / Untouched Markets using these days? Untouched Markets - pr0 - Refund My Money Now Someone owes me $2,000 because they didn't do any work that was paid for pointing at pr0 / William / UntouchedMarkets See https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-business-discussion/948258-untouchedmarkets-pr0-refund-money-post16744521.html and for more detailed see https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-business-discussion/948645-re-recent-bullshit-drama-explained-detail-pr0-untouched-markets.html

08-11-2004, 01:05 PM	#3
chemicaleyes UNSTOPPABLE Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: UK :: ICQ# 156068 Posts: 11,569	nice __________________ No way as way, No limitation as limitation. AmeriNOC formally PhatServers

08-11-2004, 01:13 PM	#4
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08-11-2004, 01:14 PM	#5
NoCarrier We need more free porn Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 16,356	Awwww that's sooo cute. I love cute jokes. __________________

08-11-2004, 01:17 PM	#6
dropped9 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Your moms box Posts: 26,727

08-11-2004, 01:18 PM	#7
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08-11-2004, 01:20 PM	#8
AGF Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 971	hehe nice __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

08-11-2004, 01:25 PM	#9
More Booze Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 5,116	if these past 20 years was the time I enjoyed myself, then I dont want to know whats next...

08-11-2004, 01:49 PM	#10
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	God am I depressed now. __________________ icq:159548293

08-11-2004, 02:00 PM	#11
sickkittens I am a meat popsicle. Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,100	Thats's depressing in a way but true. __________________ HIGHEST PAYOUTS FOR NO-CONSOLE TOURS IN THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY! THIS SIG CAN BE YOURS FOR $200 - ICQ: 78881543

08-11-2004, 02:37 PM	#12
Just_Dave Its almost time Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 13,009

08-11-2004, 02:39 PM	#13
Ross Ik ben een aap Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Traffic Force Towers, Canada! Posts: 18,874	HAHAHAHAHAHA excellent !!

08-11-2004, 08:31 PM	#14
Firehorse Desire it and have it!!! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: www.fuckwithfire.com ICQ 512915 Posts: 30,767	Thanks for the laugh. Very cool joke! __________________ MySweetEbony

08-11-2004, 09:04 PM	#16
Face (o_0) So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 2,617	hehe... cool

08-11-2004, 10:59 PM	#18
the_wizz Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: hmmm..... Posts: 1,633	Certainly explains alot...... __________________ Promote the Best

08-11-2004, 11:54 PM	#19
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	That is depressing. I'm never going to have grandchildren I'm apt to start barking any time now __________________ .