Funniest email written to a model of all time. - GoFuckYourself.com

Matt Frackas · 08-03-2004, 11:19 PM

Sorry but I had to share this.

Ive seen a lot of funny/ strange emails over the years ...written to me and models.

Well, this is one of the best. Its an inquiry to Ginger Jolie to hire her for a "project".

It's kinda long - but if you can get through it, its fucking hysterical.

(I changed the guys name. I also summarized my top 5 favorite quotes at the bottom)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Hi, this message was sent a month ago, and I'm
> wondering if it was received. I'm still interested in
> hiring Ms. Jolie for the project described below. I'll
> be in LA for the next six months.
>
> Thanks
> John
>
>
> Message to Ginger Jolie/management:
>
> I'll be in California this summer working on a variety
> of projects, one of which I plan to turn into a comic
> book and graphic novel. The star of the project is a
> sharp woman who leaves the banking industry to become
> a corporate assassin. Her name is Holly Feel. She's a
> bit like Barbarella in that she seems always on the
> point of getting in and and out of her clothes, but
> she's totally her own character in terms of using her
> intelligence and beauty to correct some of the ills of
> her society. There is nudity in the project, but there
> is also wit and smarts. For example:
>
> Holly Feel is seen on video from afar. She is wearing
> only a coat, and the camera slowly approaches the
> scene of a shoot, until the lens is inches from her
> face. She looks at the audience and says, coolly,
> "You're completely mistaken, I am not ovulating," and
> the camera recedes rapidly.
>
> I'd like to know Ginger Jolie's day rate and schedule
> a shoot to see if this project could work to both of
> our advantages.
>
> My own history is as distinctive and ambitious as
> anyone could imagine. I've made movies, written books,
> made DVDs, had a television show, made a musical, blah
> blah, and have been fortunate enough to get nothing
> but good reviews. I've traveled widely and live
> wildly, always trying to get close to wildlife. Just
> got back from a trip delivering a guitar to a pygmy
> genius in the Congo, and visited the mountain gorilla
> for the third time in two years in Uganda.
>
> Why the nudity? It's an easy way to get the fratheads
> to pay attention. It's the best of red herrings. I've
> been naked in several of my own movies and could care
> less what anyone thinks. In my first four films, I
> refused to show female nudity as a form of payback,
> and loaded up with naked guys, including some scenes
> with a pal who just got nominated for an Academy
> Award. I think sexuality is trivialized beyond belief,
> and nudity has been given a sort of cartoonish element
> in America, and I want to show something desirable
> while prompting the question from the viewer, What is
> the nature of what I am desiring right now? Who is
> she? What does she want? Why? And the answers will
> make the character still more provocative.
>
> Please let me know if you're interested in such a
> project.
>
>
> John Doe
> Los Angeles

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Top 5 new favorite quotes:

5) "My own history is as distinctive and ambitious as
anyone could imagine"

4) " I've traveled widely and live wildly, always trying to get close to wildlife"

3) "Why the nudity? It's an easy way to get the fratheads to pay attention"

2) "I've been naked in several of my own movies and could care less what anyone thinks."

...and the #1 quote IS:

1) "Just got back from a trip delivering a guitar to a pygmy genius in the Congo"

Ta da!!!

Marcus Aurelius · 08-03-2004, 11:23 PM

im not ovulating part kinda had me cracking up for some fucking reason. I hear that pygmy is the next eddie van halen.

cherrylula · 08-03-2004, 11:24 PM

"In my first four films, I refused to show female nudity as a form of payback, and loaded up with naked guys, including some scenes with a pal who just got nominated for an Academy Award."

stevecore · 08-03-2004, 11:32 PM

i wonder what cocktail of prescription pills he wrote that on!

emthree · 08-03-2004, 11:45 PM

Is he really a flim maker? or just a creative weirdo?

Shoehorn! · 08-04-2004, 12:06 AM

HAHAHA, the "visited a mountain gorilla" part is pretty fucking funny too.

Matt Frackas · 08-04-2004, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by emthree
Is he really a flim maker? or just a creative weirdo?

who the fuck knows.
Im tempted just to get the guy on the phone to HEAR him...lol.

it really is some creative shit.....

...I think Im gonna start a band and call it "Pygmy Genius"

Holly · 08-04-2004, 12:28 AM

Why the hell did he have to name her Holly?

irishfury · 08-04-2004, 12:43 AM

yeah that line was great...I can see it now Branding the name pygmygenius.com lol

Quote:

Originally posted by Matt Frackas

...I think Im gonna start a band and call it "Pygmy Genius"

Marcus Aurelius · 08-04-2004, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Matt Frackas
who the fuck knows.
Im tempted just to get the guy on the phone to HEAR him...lol.

it really is some creative shit.....

...I think Im gonna start a band and call it "Pygmy Genius"

Can I play lead. im over 6 foot tall. but my penis is pygmy sized and I am considered a genius in various third world countries.

sheldonjuan · 08-04-2004, 01:47 AM

he's fucking with ya

VirtuMike · 08-04-2004, 02:19 AM

Oh that's great.

Now if you'd excuse me, I need to see a Tibetan monk about a Yak.

TheMob · 08-04-2004, 02:22 AM

hehe, that stuff is pretty good

Satisfaction · 08-04-2004, 02:55 AM

lmao.. thats some funny shit there..

helen of TOY · 08-04-2004, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by VirtuMike
Oh that's great.

Now if you'd excuse me, I need to see a Tibetan monk about a Yak.

LOL

Living For Today · 08-04-2004, 03:00 AM

lmao. delivering a guitar to a pgymy genius in the congo. that's the funniest one.

08-03-2004, 11:45 PM	#5
emthree Dialer Kingpin Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: New York Posts: 10,816	Is he really a flim maker? or just a creative weirdo? __________________ • Sell Patches & Pills •

08-04-2004, 12:06 AM	#6
Shoehorn! Die With Your Boots On Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Hawaii Posts: 22,872	HAHAHA, the "visited a mountain gorilla" part is pretty fucking funny too. __________________

08-04-2004, 12:28 AM	#8
Holly Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Jesusland Posts: 10,017	Why the hell did he have to name her Holly? __________________ War National Damn Champions Eagle

08-04-2004, 01:47 AM	#11
sheldonjuan Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 875	he's fucking with ya __________________ fuck it, I dont need a sig!

08-04-2004, 02:19 AM	#12
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	Oh that's great. Now if you'd excuse me, I need to see a Tibetan monk about a Yak. __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L

08-03-2004, 11:19 PM	#1
Matt Frackas Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hollywood, CA USA Posts: 453	Funniest email written to a model of all time. Sorry but I had to share this. Ive seen a lot of funny/ strange emails over the years ...written to me and models. Well, this is one of the best. Its an inquiry to Ginger Jolie to hire her for a "project". It's kinda long - but if you can get through it, its fucking hysterical. (I changed the guys name. I also summarized my top 5 favorite quotes at the bottom) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Hi, this message was sent a month ago, and I'm > wondering if it was received. I'm still interested in > hiring Ms. Jolie for the project described below. I'll > be in LA for the next six months. > > Thanks > John > > > Message to Ginger Jolie/management: > > I'll be in California this summer working on a variety > of projects, one of which I plan to turn into a comic > book and graphic novel. The star of the project is a > sharp woman who leaves the banking industry to become > a corporate assassin. Her name is Holly Feel. She's a > bit like Barbarella in that she seems always on the > point of getting in and and out of her clothes, but > she's totally her own character in terms of using her > intelligence and beauty to correct some of the ills of > her society. There is nudity in the project, but there > is also wit and smarts. For example: > > Holly Feel is seen on video from afar. She is wearing > only a coat, and the camera slowly approaches the > scene of a shoot, until the lens is inches from her > face. She looks at the audience and says, coolly, > "You're completely mistaken, I am not ovulating," and > the camera recedes rapidly. > > I'd like to know Ginger Jolie's day rate and schedule > a shoot to see if this project could work to both of > our advantages. > > My own history is as distinctive and ambitious as > anyone could imagine. I've made movies, written books, > made DVDs, had a television show, made a musical, blah > blah, and have been fortunate enough to get nothing > but good reviews. I've traveled widely and live > wildly, always trying to get close to wildlife. Just > got back from a trip delivering a guitar to a pygmy > genius in the Congo, and visited the mountain gorilla > for the third time in two years in Uganda. > > Why the nudity? It's an easy way to get the fratheads > to pay attention. It's the best of red herrings. I've > been naked in several of my own movies and could care > less what anyone thinks. In my first four films, I > refused to show female nudity as a form of payback, > and loaded up with naked guys, including some scenes > with a pal who just got nominated for an Academy > Award. I think sexuality is trivialized beyond belief, > and nudity has been given a sort of cartoonish element > in America, and I want to show something desirable > while prompting the question from the viewer, What is > the nature of what I am desiring right now? Who is > she? What does she want? Why? And the answers will > make the character still more provocative. > > Please let me know if you're interested in such a > project. > > > John Doe > Los Angeles --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Top 5 new favorite quotes: 5) "My own history is as distinctive and ambitious as anyone could imagine" 4) " I've traveled widely and live wildly, always trying to get close to wildlife" 3) "Why the nudity? It's an easy way to get the fratheads to pay attention" 2) "I've been naked in several of my own movies and could care less what anyone thinks." ...and the #1 quote IS: 1) "Just got back from a trip delivering a guitar to a pygmy genius in the Congo" Ta da!!! __________________ MattsMoney.com The King of Amateurs MattsModels.com Online since 1999 icq: 234750958

08-03-2004, 11:23 PM	#2
Marcus Aurelius No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 14,809	im not ovulating part kinda had me cracking up for some fucking reason. I hear that pygmy is the next eddie van halen.

08-03-2004, 11:24 PM	#3
cherrylula lol Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 15,969	"In my first four films, I refused to show female nudity as a form of payback, and loaded up with naked guys, including some scenes with a pal who just got nominated for an Academy Award."

08-03-2004, 11:32 PM	#4
stevecore Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 6,130	i wonder what cocktail of prescription pills he wrote that on!

08-04-2004, 02:22 AM	#13
TheMob Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: 2006 Posts: 8,584	hehe, that stuff is pretty good

08-04-2004, 02:55 AM	#14
Satisfaction WootWootCash.com Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 10,900	lmao.. thats some funny shit there..

08-04-2004, 03:00 AM	#16
Living For Today Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 3,970	lmao. delivering a guitar to a pgymy genius in the congo. that's the funniest one.