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Not ok. I would kill the guy if that was my daughter.
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Wether its "right or wrong" is a moot issue. There is, and never will be an absolute answer to that question. According to nature, it's probably "right"... but we as humans love to buck our own natural tendencies. (wear clothes, shave, hide sexuality, list goes on.)
The better question is, will people percieve it as right or wrong. Answer is yes, they will think its wrong and chastize him. Therefore, I say, he stay himself out of trouble and wait a few years. 18 is pretty much the safe age level. (and really, probably better off for the guy anyways to wait for her to mature even more). =) |
thanks for all this advice. Its still kinda split though :helpme
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Yes - I see no problem with it.
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Don't see any problems with that ! In this particular case I mean . 9 years difference is really ok ! :thumbsup
Of course it would be sick if that guy was 45 or something ... |
I think it's ok....
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To me it depends on the personalities involved because I've met alot of 16 yr old girls who were smoking. If you're talking about maturity levels that are the same then hey go for it if its legal where you're at. I can't stand to talk to them personally. Waaaaaay to young and waaaaaaay to dumb about alot of things. I prefer a 24-28 year old woman with some experience and an education.
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its legal here, and I would have no problem with a 16yr old, but im 21 my self.......25 - 16 is still ok in my eyes.......
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this is not even a woman...it's a fucking kid. With childish behavior and talking. I wouldn't stand that one day.
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I don't have a problem with it, but if a 25 year old pops a 16 year old here in Florida he's going to jail and facing some serious charges. In some states in the US its considered statutory rape even if the girl consents and you get labeled a sexual predator for the rest of your life, have to register with the police anywhere you live, etc.
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I'm gonna throw somereality in this mix.....when I was 16 I hung out with a 22 year old a few times. One time we were drinking, and even though I don't remember doing anything, I got pregnant. Having been with only one person in the past, and having just broke up two weeks before when he went to boot camp, I assumed it was his. Big friggin mess. Had the baby a week before I turned 17. He's 10 now. A whole lot of the reason I hung out with older guys is beause my own dad skipped out and I was looking for that approval...easiest way to get approval...well, do I even need to say it? Didn't realize then why I was doing it...not til I was old enough to understand how relationships, self-esteem, and so on all works.
Moral of the story being this....we all do dumb things when we're young. That's because we don't have the capacity to make well-thought out decisions like an adult does, and we have that "it will never happen to me" invincibility syndrome. You are the adult in this situation, and it is your responsibility to make a well-thought out decision. How would you feel if it were your daughter? And do you think her life will be better in the long run for having succumbed to her adolescent hormones? If you care about her at all, you really have to consider at what point you are taking advantage of her youth and inexperience....even if she's had tons of lovers, you don't have to be the next in line to exploit a minor's insecurity. Otherwise, even if she begs for it, you are satisfying your hormones at another human's expense, and that's really not cool. Teenagers think they know it all....they think they can handle anything that comes their way....but we adults know that it isn't true. It takes a long time to be mature enough to handle the ramifications of having sex, and I just don't think a 16 year old is there yet. And just because she is letting her hormones make her decisions doesn't mean you have to. Just wait....I'm not saying don't date her...go ahead and hang out with her and see if you really have that connection that will be worth taking the risks, but wait to have sex until she's older, more mature, and you are both sure it is something you want to do. You are the adult, so you have to set the pace and be responsible with the trust that has been placed in you.:2 cents: |
At 16 people are old enough to be responsible for their own decisions. So no, there's nothing immoral about doing it.
However, if you're 25 and you find a 16-year-old a suitable and intellectually challenging partner, it does say quite a bit about your level of mental development :1orglaugh |
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Holly Shit dude! Man thats some sound advice. thanks allot :thumbsup |
To me the age difference is too big at that age. At 16 she is worried if her boobs will get bigger, what she will wear to prom, when her curfew is going to be extended and what she is going to be when she grows up. She will be looking for her very first job soon and has not even experienced life on her own, handling her own money or very much responsiblity.
At 25 you SHOULD be worried about what direction your life is heading in, how to advance your career, buying a house, lower the mortgage on one you already own, investments and planning for retirement so you can have an easy one. Get someone closer in age...9 years isn't that big of a deal if she is 20 and you are 29...but 16...they don't know what in the hell they want at that age and don't have the maturity to fully comprehend how their actions can change the direction of their life. In other words...she might "think" she is in love and think that a baby would be a great idea...and then you are saddled down with a 16 year old that isn't grown up yet. |
If it's legal where you are, go for it.
If you don't, someone else will |
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Just wanted to add one more thing..even if you did end up in a long term relationship with her...what do you think will happen when she turns 18 or 21? When she realizes she has her whole life ahead of her...and a boyfriend who is almost 30. Girls who settle down young usually get wild later on, and you could have a really bad time either dealing with her crap, or breaking up. I think just the fact that you didn't just hit it and asked for opinions shows that you are responsible enough to make the right decision, both for yourself and for her.:thumbsup |
Every high school had those few 15-16 year old girls who bragged about their 22 year old boyfriends who had cool cars and got them into clubs. Sure, they were the envy of the other girls, but you could see right through them, too. They grew up too fast. They got pregnant too early, moved out too early, and usually failed at school.
I say leave her alone. If you're drawn to someone that young with that little life experience, what does that say about you? Another thing, maybe you don't realize how psycho a 16 year old girl can be when you tell her that no, you don't love her and yes, you just wanted in her pants. *chuckle* |
chase, I think you are completely wrong.
First of all, unwanted pregnancy occurs both with teens and adults. It's not the result of age, it's the result of either stupidity or severe mistakes in upbringing. I spent most of my teen years fucking around as much as possible, and so did most of my friends. And guess what? Nobody ever got pregnant from it. That's because we used protection. Aside from that, having sex in your teens because of "hormones" (more commonly referred to as "being horny") most often doesn't have to do anything with insecurity or anything of the kind. You're young, you're curious, you're horny - no insecurity needed in that equation for the obvious result. Now, having sex while you're young really doesn't have to shatter the rest of your life. In fact, for most people it's just a normal experience, and there are no earth-shattering consequences. As for the whole "taking advantage of"-thing... how is it more taking advantage of someone if the person is almost 17 than when that person is a year and a half older, or ten years for that matter? |
my favorite topic.
men over 25 father most of the children for unwed mothers, as well as girls under 18. Especially here in California http://www.ageofconsent.com/california.htm California has the highest teen birth rate in the U.S. Every 8 minutes, a teenager in California has a baby. 3 of 4 births to High School girls are fathered by adults. Men over 25 account for twice as many teen births as boys under 18 years old. Men over 20 are responsible for 5 times as many births among junior high school girls. In California almost 70% of teen births are fathered by adult men. In 1993 1,572 births in California were to mothers 14 years or younger. and PORNOGRAPHERS ARE TO BLAME FOR THIS!!! DIRTY INTERNET! |
Well no *I* wouldn't.. since I won't even date a woman that isn't like 24-25 anymore.
Girls that age are flaky as hell. One minute they love you the next they don't. Shit like that.. Anyone that cries Pedo! is just trying to stir up shit, or doesn't even really know what a pedo is. |
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also, Arnold is cutting funding for everything. there is no hope for kids here. they dont even have desks, there are over 18000 kids who daily do not have a seat in a class here you think they have sex education? this is a problem in america, we can fund a war but we cant even give our kids desks in class how can you blame 12 year olds for being taken advantage of by 25 year olds? this is rape in its simple form. the rape of innocence. |
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She is extreamly intellegent! Probably got a higher iq then you :BangBang: |
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You are right that severe mistakes in upbringing can have major effects-like having a father who is out of the picture, as is the case with this girl, since her mother is dating the friend of the OP. A father's role in a little girl's life sets the stage for her relationships with men in general...in most cases...until she is mature enough to let the weight of the fathers decisions come off of her shoulders. A teenager isn't trusted to make a decision regarding cigarettes or alcohol until they are 18 and 21, at least here in the US. They aren't trusted with a car until they are sixteen, in most states. There is a good reason for this...they are not mature enough to make a sound decision at that stage. Why should they be trusted to make a decision that could have massive effects on their lives and futures. Yes, it's true that some are exceptions to this, as there are to any "rule". Yes, it could have no future effect...if you are lucky, and I'm sincerely glad that you are one of the lucky ones. But there are diseases that can render you sterile, kill you, and otherwise make your life less than it could have been, and of course, there is the possibility of teen pregnancy. If it was wise to place these choices in the hands of people before they are mature enough to be responsible with them, we wouldn't have such a high teen pregnancy rate, teen STD rate, and teens getting in accidents, whether from DWI or not. The difference is that a 25 yo is an adult. He is mature enough to recognize the problems it can cause, and ought to have enough respect for this girl to let her grow up some. I respect your opinion, but I stilll stick to mine. As much as I adore my son, my life would have been much different, and I would have been much more successful if his father had been responsible enough to not even let the decision fall into my sixteen year old hands. I had to struggle to even graduate high school, and yes, I did it, and with my class, but if I knew then what I know now, I would have been much better equipped to handle that choice. I guess that's what my point boils down to: wisdom comes with age and experience, and sixteen years typically isn't enough to have it. |
I just wanted to point something out, too....The post that I just responded to, (and my reply as well, lol), I am very impressed with. Two people on GFY can disagree without making personal, rude attacks! Who knew?!
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a friend of mine goes even a year lower:helpme ....................15
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ok i just spoke to her on msn and this is our conversation.........
girl says: how r u? mark says: im ok you? good day at work? girl says: im alryt thanx.. yeah work was ok... boring but hay its got to be done mark says: hws ur day been? girl says: its been hard mark says: but hey it has to be done :) girl says: yeah girl says: im well nakered.. the fact that i went to bed at half 4 n woke up at 8 30 is suddenly catching up on me mark says: can i ask you somthing without meaning to sound to deep or some shit.... girl says: yeah sure mark says: i dont know how to ask this without it sounding shit girl says: jst ask .... mark says: ok well i just want you to think into the future for one second girl says: ok mark says: what do you think this is between us? are you just looking for a bit of fun? go out have a laugh etc or are you looking for more? I mean are you looking to take this seriously or just fun? i just want to know what your thinking. sorry for the shitty question girl says: erm..... girl says: to tell u the truth i dont honestly know mark says: that makes things easier lol girl says: hehe girl says: omg i really like dont know... mark says: i just want to us to try and be open with each other you know from the start girl says: yeah thats fair enough me too marksays: i mean from my point of view. right now i just think we should go out a bit and have some fun. play it by ear. not expect anything you know? my life is crazy right now with work and every thing. basically i dont want to end up hurting anyone so i want you to know where you stand with me from day one. i understand if this is somthing you do not want to partake in. I mean what i am trying to say is i have no plans girl says: yeah ... same as.. i completly agree with that.. i dont think it could be more than a bit of fun between us and i dont wana rush into anything serious, so to play it by ear is the best thing so noone gets hurt or nothing! mark says: So right now its just a bit of fun then? girlsays: yeah... no expectations. girl says: clean wholesome fun girl says: lol mark says: phewwwwwwww glad i got that off my chest mark says: i feel much better about everything now. and i cant wait to see you on saturday |
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why is this even a question? the answer is YES, 16 is too young.
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Most answers will be based on the area of the world the person lives in and the cultural stance on it. Here in America most 16 year olds are very immature and even if they are mature they lack experience to make them compatible with most 25 year olds.
If a 25 year old and a 16 year old are compatible then there has been an extraprdinary gain on the 16 year old's part or a lacking on the 25 year old's part especially if it is here in North America. I know age of consent in other countries and regions like europe and asia are lower, but having talked to some of the girls there they are raised to be much more mature at an earilier age than children here. Remember the laws are based upon how each area views the maturity of its children at points in their life for the reason of protecting them againt manipulation by smarter and more influincial adults. For me it is more about wondering about the mental level of the 25 year old seeing worth in a little girl more than any moral view. There are exceptions to everything, maybe you and she are one, hope it goes well for you man. |
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With proper information about sex, it doesn't have to pose a greater risk than most other daily activities. Most certainly, it isn't something that's too difficult for a teen to decide about. I'm pretty sure part of our difference in opinion comes from the difference in our backgrounds. You got pregnant as a teen, whereas I grew up in the country with the lowest teen pregnancy rate in the world. (In my highschool and university(!), I've never seen or even heard about anyone getting pregnant - apart from teachers ofcourse. And it's not like we all wait with sex til we're 18 here. Quite the opposite, actually.) What I do know for sure, however, is that while we have very low teen pregnancy, std and abortion rates over here, it still is very common here for guys in their twenties to hook up with girls in their teens. So it seems unlikely that the biggest reason for teen pregnancies etc. is older guys having sex with younger girls. If anything, I think one of the two parties involved being a bit older and thus more experienced can actually be safer and a better experience altogether. |
IMO it depends on sexual history.
If she's the 'virginal' type, then don't. A girls future sex life often follows her first experiences. (she will most likely continue to go after the same sorts of guys and the same sorts of relationships) That's a ton of pressure. (if you have a conscience) If she's already been with a half a dozen guys and has a casual attitude towards sex then she's 'mature' enough already and you're personally less responsible/influencial over her emotional health. :2 cents: |
What is the problem? :question
And if you`re saying: I wouldnt do it... you are a liar, or a fuckin' moron, no a non-fuckin' moron :) |
Too big of an age difference. I was 16 I dated a 22 year old. It didn't work out.
At 16 you have a high school mentality. At 25, high school probably seems like it was ages ago. If the infatuation is there, it might be fun and exciting at first. But in the end she is still a teenager and unless there is something wrong with her, she will still worry about what to wear to school, the cute boy in her English class, and who will ask her out to the homecoming dance (unless she doesn't mind taking a 25 year old to her high school dance). Young girls are naive and don't know what they're doing. I wouldn't recommend it, but if you're just looking to have some fun then go for it. Just don't expect anything long term or serious. Good luck. :2 cents: |
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Someone should point out that within the first 20 minutes of the movie "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" you have a 26 yr old guy having sex with a 15 year old girl.
Funny how everyone squawks when a guy asks about this very same scenario yet no one gives it a second thought when it's happening right in front of them up on the big screen. Things that make you say irony. |
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