Study of the US government: over 88% of all americans are abnormally

[johndoebob]

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- About eighty-eight percent of Americans are clinically 'abnormal', according to a U.S. government study. "Since we're responsible for preparing documents for public consumption, we need to be sure we write what the average American can understand," said Homeland Security Public Relations Director Rita Liming, "So we commissioned a study to determine 'normalcy'. It was a great shock to us when we found that only a small minority of the public is truly 'normal'."

"Your average normal person is actually kinda weird."

-- Eugene McFutts, Researcher
The study found that more than 9 percent have a mood disorder such as major depression or manic disorder, while more than 11 percent have an anxiety disorder. Further suggesting the study is on the right track, 50 percent acknowledged they felt 'most people didn't like them', while the remaining 50 percent admitted they 'don't like most people'.

The survey, conducted by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse, Alcoholism, and Recreational Albuterol Use questioned 43,000 adults at length to see if they have the clinical symptoms of 'normalcy'. "Not everyone has what it takes to be normal," said Eugene McFutts, lead researcher for the study, "Your average normal person is actually kinda weird."

The survey results, published in the Archives of General Psychiatry and the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, represent the largest-ever such study of normalcy in the United States, the NIAAARAU said.

The study projected that only 4.2 million or 2 percent of Americans meet the criteria to be considered normal.

Source: http://www.thebentinel.com/040803-mo...-abnormal.html

[mal]

[Gunni]

They could have just had a quick look at GFY to find that out

[Firehorse]

"Your average normal person is actually kinda weird."

[arial]

Originally posted by mal

[arial]

No one is actually "normal"... everyone's a little crazy.

[mookienow]

It took a study to figure this out.....

[freeadultcontent]

Since normal is the majority then being normal is being abnormal.

[AaronM]

Originally posted by freeadultcontent
Since normal is the majority then being normal is being abnormal.

If 88% of us are abnormal then I'd say that makes them the norm. 12% of us are the ones who are really fucked up.

[Mike AI]

If 88% of people aren't normal, then wouldn't that the 12% who are "normal" really would the the unnormal group?

[AaronM]

Originally posted by Mike AI
If 88% of people aren't normal, then wouldn't that the 12% who are "normal" really would the the unnormal group?

Gee....Why didn't I think of that?

[BRISK]

50 percent acknowledged they felt 'most people didn't like them', while the remaining 50 percent admitted they 'don't like most people'.

[freeadultcontent]

Originally posted by AaronM
Gee....Why didn't I think of that?

Cause I did first.

[arial]

What is normal?

[sixxxth_sense]

Originally posted by arial
No one is actually "normal"... everyone's a little crazy.

is it me or is the fat kid in ur sig dancing faster and faster everytime i see the sig, its jokes i love it, it makes me laugh every fucking dY!

[Elli]

You do realize that is a satirical article, right?

"Rock-solid reporting -- with a twist!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody -"

[AaronM]

Originally posted by freeadultcontent
Cause I did first.

That's why I quoted you.

[Drake]

Originally posted by Mike AI
If 88% of people aren't normal, then wouldn't that the 12% who are "normal" really would the the unnormal group?

Well yes, normally speaking of coarse.

[AaronM]

Originally posted by Mike33
Well yes, normally speaking of coarse.

But...Since 88% of GFY are morons.....Not much "normal" speaking is done around here unless it is presented in an abnormal way.


er....I think that works.

[freeadultcontent]

Originally posted by AaronM
That's why I quoted you.

I have myself on ignore

[AaronM]

Originally posted by freeadultcontent
I have myself on ignore

lol....Not a bad idea.