I Swear Its True

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  • John Kerry
    Confirmed User
    • Jul 2004
    • 126

    #1

    I Swear Its True

    I used to eat a lot of natural foods..................

    until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.

    If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to

    buy a replacement.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

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    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

    You read about all these terrorists --- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years.

    Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you
    Vote For Me In 2004
  • blazi
    Confirmed User
    • Feb 2003
    • 4321

    #2
    that's a different way of lookin' at stuff I guess

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    Comment

    • =^..^=
      Confirmed User
      • Jan 2002
      • 6935

      #3
      i cant believe that nic wasnt taken looooong b4 now
      #RememberYourRoots #AaronMForGFYHOF

      Comment

      • Basic_man
        Programming King Pin
        • Oct 2003
        • 27360

        #4
        go eat some mcdonalds !
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        Comment

        • The Bootyologist
          So Fucking Banned
          • Jun 2004
          • 2912

          #5
          Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.

          If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

          Comment

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