some wednesday humor... - GoFuckYourself.com

blakkfrogg · 04-11-2001, 10:03 AM

> A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the
> end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they
> accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
>
> They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is
> actually alive.
>
> She lives for ten more years, and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the
> same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again>
> carrying out the casket.
>
> As they are walking, the husband cries out,
>
> "Watch out for the fucking wall."

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Something New... http://www.americas-best.com/adult

Lord Assmore · 04-11-2001, 10:15 AM

With the risk of being accused of male chauvinism

:

Q: What do women and condoms have in common??
A: They both spend more time in your wallet than they do on the end of your dick.

-------------------------------

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a condom??
A. It's easier to piss a woman off!!

sandman! · 04-11-2001, 12:22 PM

I got one why did god give men dicks??

So we would have at least 1 way to shut a woman up

ElvisManson · 04-11-2001, 12:32 PM

Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment

Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute

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Make Money. Period.

www.pythonvideo.com
www.dollarmachine.com

fredicus · 04-11-2001, 03:49 PM

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations. So, he decided to
split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while
urinating. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of
you wanted the ability".

Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to!
Please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so great! When I'm out working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly! It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh, please God, let it
be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please!!"

On and on he went, like an excited little boy who..., well,...had to pee.

Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing
that would make him happy, and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability. And so, Adam was given the
ability to control the direction of his micturation while in a vertical position. He was so happy, he celebrated by wetting down
the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.

"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts, "What's left in here?"

"Oh yes," he said, "Multiple orgasms..."

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unlikely to be Y3K Compliant
-------------------------
Are you trying to tell me that coconuts migrate ?

04-11-2001, 10:03 AM	#1
blakkfrogg Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: South of sobriety Posts: 582	some wednesday humor... > A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the > end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they > accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. > > They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is > actually alive. > > She lives for ten more years, and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the > same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again> > carrying out the casket. > > As they are walking, the husband cries out, > > "Watch out for the fucking wall." ------------------ Something New... http://www.americas-best.com/adult

04-11-2001, 10:15 AM	#2
Lord Assmore Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The Periphery Posts: 588	With the risk of being accused of male chauvinism : Q: What do women and condoms have in common?? A: They both spend more time in your wallet than they do on the end of your dick. ------------------------------- Q. What's the difference between a woman and a condom?? A. It's easier to piss a woman off!!

04-11-2001, 12:22 PM	#3
sandman! Icq: 14420613 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: chicago Posts: 15,431	I got one why did god give men dicks?? So we would have at least 1 way to shut a woman up

04-11-2001, 12:32 PM	#4
ElvisManson Looking California Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 5,476	Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? A: Sexual harassment Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? A: $3.99 a minute ------------------ Make Money. Period. www.pythonvideo.com www.dollarmachine.com

04-11-2001, 03:49 PM	#5
fredicus Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: UK Posts: 286	Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations. So, he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted the ability". Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to! Please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so great! When I'm out working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly! It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh, please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please!!" On and on he went, like an excited little boy who..., well,...had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability. And so, Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his micturation while in a vertical position. He was so happy, he celebrated by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good. "Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts, "What's left in here?" "Oh yes," he said, "Multiple orgasms..." ------------------ unlikely to be Y3K Compliant ------------------------- Are you trying to tell me that coconuts migrate ?