eeek it out

i thought this would have been won days ago :glugglug

I agree :thumbsup

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek :Graucho

I thought so too :helpme

GFY is waking up :glugglug

:glugglug

oh ma gosh to early for this:upsidedow

soon everyone will be awake :winkwink:

have you had your coffee? :glugglug

90 posts to go :thumbsup

it's almost 11 pm here, what time is it there? :glugglug

soooon........ :Graucho

Doctor: "It's no good. I can't find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of drinking."
Patient: "I'll come back when you're sober then!"

The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies.
When they get to the movie theatre, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down, but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down. The doctors get all excited because they think maybe he's in touch with reality now.
So they ask him, "Why did you put the newspaper down first?"
He answers, "So I'd be higher and have a better view."

A woman went to her new doctor for a checkup. He turned out to be absolutely gorgeous! He told her he was going to put his hand on her back and he wanted her to say "Eighty-eight."
"Eighty-eight," she purred.
"Good. Now I'm going to put my hand on your throat and I want you to again say 'Eighty-eight.'"
"Eighhty...eighhhhtttt."
"Fine. Now I'm going to put my hand on your chest and I want you once more to say 'Eighty-eight.'"
"One, two, three, four, five..."

I can't work out why my upload is so slow atm? :(

upload and post and drink some more :glugglug

where did everyone go? :helpme

I know you are lurking :Graucho

why don't you post and I'll lurk? :1orglaugh

damn do es it ever end

Man: Doctor, me leg keeps talkin' to me.
Doc: Don't be ridiculous!
Leg: Lend us a fiver!
Man: Told ya.
Leg: Giz a tenner!
Doc: My God!
Leg: Eh Doc, can you spare 20 quid?
Doc: I know your problem. Your leg's broke!

la di freakin da

bump

I think there are about 80 posts to go? :helpme

:1orglaugh

Dear Diary,

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those

expensive double-pane energy efficient kind....But this week I got a call

from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a

whole year ago and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy oh boy, did we go around!! Just because I'm blonde doesn't

mean that I am automatically stupid...So, I proceeded to tell him just

what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year...that in one

year the windows would pay for themselves.

There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up and

I have not heard back. Guess I won that stupid argument

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"
"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 15 to 2."

:1orglaugh

why are we waiting??? :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

Good luck! :thumbsup

get your boogie on (BOOGIE not booger)

Some funny jokes, born! :1orglaugh

A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "I have a problem with my dick!"
The lady at the counter says, "Sir, we do not say words like that at the doctors office! Now leave and come back and replace "Dick" with some other body part like "Ear."
The man does as he's told and comes back in and says, "I have a problem with my ear."
The lady the says, "What is that?"
To which the man replied, "I can't piss out of it!"

ah it's too early i have to go to bed.:batman

Didn't this thread start a few days ago?

A man stops by his regular doctor with this strange discolouring of his genitals. The doctor was quite amazed. He had never seen such a shade of orange on a man's privates.
After a very thorough examination, the befuddled doctor finally confessed he had no ideas.
So he said to the man "I don't quite understand what is going on here." Then he asked, "so tell me what is it you do?"
The man said, "not much, really."
The doctor asked, "Do you work?"
The man replied, "no I have been laid off for months."
The doctor then said, "well, what is it that you do all day?"
The man replied "not much really, I sit around, watching porno's and eating cheetos all day..."

and I was enjoying your company :(

seems like a week ago

ate ham egg and cheese burrito. what did you eat?

'nite batman :winkwink:

pasta and half a chilli and pepperoni pizza :glugglug

i'm getting ready to crash right here typing sl o w e r

not long dont crash yet

for breakfast?!? :Oh crap

switch to auto pilot :Graucho

it's 11 pm here :Graucho

sounds like a canidate for tums