She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.
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For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing
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"If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?"
Steven Wright sid375Comment
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My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
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"Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night."
Peter Ustinov. sid375Comment
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Pay no attention to what the critics say... Remember, a statue has never been set up in honor of a critic!
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"If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you."
Paul Newman. sid375Comment
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"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
Steven Wright. sid375Comment
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I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth
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"They called it golf because all the other four letter words were taken."
Walter Hagen. sid375Comment
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
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"In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete."
Yakov Smirnoff. sid375Comment
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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use
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"I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won."
Muhammad Ali. sid375Comment
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Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
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I am getting tired, think am gonna quit
sid375
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A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
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"Michael Chang has all the fire and passion of a public service announcement, so much so that he makes Pete Sampras appear fascinating."
Alex Ramsey sid375Comment
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The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.
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"One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him."
Jeffrey Bernard. sid375Comment
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He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches
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"Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint."
Billy Connolly. sid375Comment
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"When Peter Beardsley appears on television, daleks hide behind the sofa."
Nick Hancock. sid375Comment
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Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
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"The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important."
Bobby Robson. sid375Comment
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Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
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We've lost seven of our last eight matches. The only team that we have beaten is Western Samoa. It's a good job we didn't play the whole of Samoa."
Gareth Davies. sid375Comment
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly
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"Winning isn't everything: It's the only thing."
Vincent Lombardi. sid375Comment
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down
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It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
From 'Death' 1975. sid375Comment
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A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
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"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife."
James H. Kabbler III. sid375Comment
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The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
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"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off."
Stephen King.
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This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer
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"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"
Woody Allen. sid375Comment
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"
Art Hoppe. sid375Comment
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All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.
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"My mother said to me, "If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope." Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso."
Pablo Picasso. sid375Comment
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The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.
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The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
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A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials."
Ronald Knox. sid375Comment
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can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.
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"Not only is there no Go, but you try getting a plumber at weekends."
Woody Allen. sid375Comment
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Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
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"As God once said, and I think rightly..."
Margaret Thatcher. sid375Comment
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You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
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poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.
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